Office Manager : Red Scarlett
Red Scarlett
Senior Complaints Officer : Julius McCaeser
Julius McCaeser
Manager’s Secretary : Sophie L’Amour
Sophie L’Amour
Office Tea Goddess : Lkashmi Bollywood
Lkashmi Bollywood
Office Taniwha : Count Marmaduke Montgomery Bartholomew Dracula-Smythe III (Bart)
Count Marmaduke Montgomery Bartholomew Dracula-Smythe III (Bart)
Interrogator : Marie from Schweden!
Marie from Schweden
Torturer : Agent Danger Surprise!
Agent Danger Surprise
Executioner : Madame Chocolat!
Madame Chocolat
Grave Digger : Laurent De Chinlone!
Laurent De Chinlone
Get Away Driver : Hurricane Duncan
Hurricane Duncan
O/C Sympathy Cards : Romain De Cognac!
Romain De Cognac
Market Cross - Office of The Karamea Ministry of Red Tape 10.00 a.m. Monday May 21st
Office of The Karamea Ministry of Red Tape
HRH Prince Charles : We are pleased to confer the Royal Seal on the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape. Blah blah blah!!
HRH Prince Charlie
Red Scarlett : Yawn!
Right Charlie : Oh, I beg your pardon Miss Scarlett was I boring you?
Red Scarlett : We?
Charlie Boy : The Royal We!
Red Scarlett : You and those pathetically stupid Royal Corgis Woofus and Wodger???
The Old Baked Bean (centre) and Corgi Worgies
The Prince of Whales : More Face Book friends than SuperMoo!!!!!
SuperMoo
Red Scarlett : Why are they slobbering on your new brogues???
C. Windsor : Naughty doggy woggies!!
Kaboom!
Charles : You shot the Royal Corgis!!!!! Mummy will be furious!!!
Red Scarlett : So WE did! How rather unfortunate!!
His Royal Highness Prince Charles KCMG : You bounder!! I challenge you to a duel!!
Kaboom!
Red Scarlett : WANKER!@!!
Julius McCaeser : Och aye, nice shooting lassie!
Laurent de Chinlone : Excuse moi , mademoiselle! Where can I bury His Royal Highness.
Red Scarlett : The Rongo worm bin requires topping up with bullshit!!!
Lakshmi Bollywood : Oh my golly gosh!! The Queen will not be being amused!!
Red Scarlett : Indeed! His Royal Highness deserves a 21 gun salute!! Rest in Peace!
Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom,
kaboom!
Lakshmi Bollywood : Aaiiieeee!!!!!
Red Scarlett : Wasn’t that 21?? I can count! This little piggy went to market….
Lakshmi Bollywood : By the spiriting of Lord Vishnu, a 21 gun saluting in the air not in the deceased!!!
Kaboom!
Red Scarlett : One for luck!!!
Office Taniwha : F.A.R.T.!!!
Office Taniwha
Lakshmi Bollywood : Aaaaaiiiieee!!! We must be kneeling and praying!!
Lakshmi Bollywood
Laurent de Chinlone : I’m praying for ze new Porsche!
Laurent de Chinlone’s Dream
Madame Chocolat : I’m praying for un homme with ze unquenchable stamina!!! Ooh la la!!
Madame Chocolat
Sophie L’Amour : You got to pray just to make it today!!
Marie from Schweden : Ya! I’m praying for free breast augmentation for my dolly Pippi Longstocking!!
Marie from Schweden
Lakshmi Bollywood : I’m praying for departed soul!
Red Scarlett : Nonsense!! Corgis don’t have souls!!!
Romain de Cognac : Allors, mes amis!! We must cover up this awful tragedy!!
Romain de Cognac
Red Scarlett : Right troops!! Combat Alert! Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Hospitality Squad!
Attention!! By the left…quick march!!!
Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Hospitality Squad
Agent Danger Surprise : Excellent!! Not a trace of blood or vomited dog food!!
Agent Danger Surprise
Red Scarlett : Good morning Madame!
Lady Camilla : I’m looking for Snookums, he’s late for lunch!
Lady Camilla
Red Scarlett : Prince Charles??
Lady Camilla : Mmm Snookums!!! I am rather annoyed that he seems to have disappeared!
Lady Camilla and Close Relative
Red Scarlett : Does Madame wish to make a complaint??
Lady Camilla : Oh, well yes!!
Red Scarlett : An official complaint Mistress Camilla???
Lady Camilla : Yes and money is no object!!!
Lady Camilla?
Red Scarlett : Let me consult The Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Official Complaints Manual…..Mmmmm!!! Here we go. Official Complaint .303 “ To whit … blah. … blah… blah Prince Charles late for lunch..blah..blah..blah… riddled full of bullet holes… blah .. blah …blah Plead the 5th… blah..blah..blah.. Royal pooches humanely inoculated.. blah…blah..blah.. Her Royal Indoors a bit uppity.. blah..blah…blah…a red leather mini skirt on sale at Global Gypsy???
Lady Camilla : Bitch!! Give me that sales brochure! I want that dress!! Claw!!!
Red Scarlett : I saw it first!!! Hiss!
Lady Camilla: I am to be the Queen of England and I will have that skirt!! Yowl!!!
Julius McCaeser : Och aye!! A lassies cat fight!! Where’s me Nikon Jimmy?
Julius McCaeser
F .L.A.S.H!!!
Lady Camilla : Did you get my best side!! Rupert will pay a squillion for that pic!!
Red Scarlett : I can just make the Global Gypsy Sale before elevenses!!
Lady Camilla : Parker???
Parker : Yes ma’am!
Parker
Lady Camilla : Bring the Royal limo to the front doorstep of the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape offices!
Parker : Yes ma’am!
Red Scarlett : Bloody trollop! She’s going to get that skirt before me!!
10.55 a.m. Global Gypsy Monday Sale!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Global Gypsy, Market Cross!
Gerar : Hey Babe!!!
Lady Camilla : How do you do? I wish to purchase that rather fetching red hot miniskirt!!
Gerar : For B and D???
Lady Camilla : No, for Charles! To help cure him of chronic impotency!!!
Gerar : Yeah! Hey, I could be your knight in shining armour!!! Let’s get ready to R..U..M..B..L…E..!
Lady Camilla : Mmm! You are rather cute!! What assets do you have???
Gerar : (whisper…whisper…)
Lady Camilla : Giggle!!!! Ooooohhh!!!
Red Scarlett : Have at thee wench!!! That mini skirt is mine!!!
Lady Camilla : Parker????
Parker : Yes ma’am!!
Lady Camilla : Please deal with this impudent young lady!!
Parker : Yes ma’am!!!
Red Scarlett : Get your plastic hands off me you stupid puppet!!
Lady Camilla : Puppet??
Laurent de Chinlone : Une puppet??
Julius McCaeser : Boollocks!! A puppet Jimmy!!
Lady Camilla : Is this true Parker? Are you a puppet??
Parker : Yes ma’am!!!
Parker
Red Scarlett : A relic from Thunderbirds Are Go!!
Kaboom!!!!
Red Scarlett : You slut you shot Parker!!!
Lady Camilla : Wow!! This skirt really goes with my Royal gloves!!
Kaboom!!!
Red Scarlett : My shout at PUB!!!
Hurricane Duncan : We just shneed a shnober driver!!
Absolutely Bloody Outrageous!
Thanks!