A Special Message to All the Ladies from Garfunkel

Hey Ladies, Garfunkel here again…I’m SO ready for you to call. I’m looking for a special hard-lovin’ woman to share my passion for life, love and funkin’.

It’s been a good while since I have been with a lady…in fact it’s been 45 years…so I’ve some spunk bottled up inside me like you wouldn’t believe!

So give me a call and I’ll release my love all over you…7826XXX
(If I’m not home…please leave a message with Mum and I’ll call you straight back and invite you round for a cuppa tea to meet my parents, we’ll read some psalms, heal the sick, cure the lame and I might even show you my extensive collection of used tissues!)

PS: If I miss your call, be sure to leave your name, age, bra size, hair length and underpants colour so that I can call you back with a mental picture of you in mind.