Unspoilt Natural Beauty?

Off the Top of my Head

By Paul Murray

Is anyone responsible for the blatantly misleading bollocks written by real-estate agents? In an industry famous for being frugal with the truth and generous with the commission on sales, it would seem wise to monitor the activities of agents to ensure their penchant for deception and avarice does not become rampant.

For example…the advertisement for a property on the North Island of New Zealand has the copywriter gushing with inaccuracies, spurious claims and equivocal postulations.

The banner trumpets the property’s merits as being “Unspoilt Natural Beauty.” It is apparently a “stunning eco-wonderland,” includes “exquisite native bush,” is an “unspoilt piece of stunning New Zealand landscape” and offers the unsuspecting buyer a chance to purchase a “slice of natural wonderland” and a piece of “historic eco-wonderland.

This all sounds most wonderful, but the image attached to this piece of ridiculous nonsense rather belies its magnificence. Instead of the suggested picture-perfect pristine  realty, we see a landscape devoid of all but a fraction of the suggested “natural beauty” and “exquisite native bush” suggested in the copy…the property has been bare cleared, all the natural bio-diversity that would have existed there less than 100 years ago has been removed and replaced with a pasture monoculture.

The text goes on the indicate that the property is “currently used as a grazing block for the fattening of heifers and steers, the property is well set up with fencing and facilities allowing for all types of grazing and fattening,” and that “current owners have undertaken an extensive fertilizer programme as well as planting of natives and shelter trees.”

This would seem contrary to the earlier claims of property being an eco-paradise with unspoilt natural beauty and exquisite native bush.” In reality, this property is nothing like it is poetically described…in fact, it is quite the opposite, the property has has been utilised as a commercial farm…it is devoid of nature, spoilt, has no bush whatsoever, it has been subjected to a regime of artificial fertiliser and chemicals…the copy is entirely misleading in this regard and it is up to the prospective buyer to determine the real state of the block from the supplied images.

Any serious publication would not permit such blatant fabrication of the truth to be published, so who is watching the real-estate copywriters? The Real Estate Institute of New Zealand? REINZ will look after you…Yeah Right! Could the senior partners of Bayleys also be senior members of REINZ? The pyromaniacs are also the firemen.

This property is in a lovely location, the setting is beautiful, but it is NOT anything like a natural, unspoilt eco-wonderland…and is shouldn’t be written up as such…to do so is deceptive, fallacious, duplicitous and should be illegal.


Travel south-west from Hamilton skirting the foothills of beautiful Mt Pirongia and you will arrive at the stunning eco-wonderland that is Kawhia Harbour. Steeped in ancient history, this magical area of unspoiled natural beauty offers a plethora of leisure activities and is flanked by some of the North Island’s most beautiful farmland. The stunning 109.55 hectares offered for sale here is a shining example of the untapped potential this area offers. Currently used as a grazing block for the fattening of heifers and steers, the property is well set up with fencing and facilities allowing for all types of grazing and fattening. However, it is the lifestyle opportunities this superb piece of land offers which are possibly the most exciting aspect. With a gently rolling north west-facing contour down to the harbour’s edge there are a multitude of stunning building sites on which to create your dream retreat. The harbour itself offers brilliant fishing as well as swimming, windsurfing and kayaking right on your doorstep with approximately 3.5 kilometres of waterfront boundary. Spend a day horse trekking or four wheel motor biking or meander through exquisite native bushand make the only set of footprints you will see on deserted beach walks. Dig your own hot pool on the beach at Te Puia and finish the day with a soak as you watch the magnificent sunsets enjoyed here. Additional local attractions include Gannet Island, the old flour mills plus easy trips to Marokopa, Te Waitere and Aotea Harbour.
This property is located approximately 55 kilometres to Te Awamutu, 46 kilometres to Otorohanga, 78 kilometres to Hamilton and 198 kilometres to Auckland.
Just over 3 kilometres from the property entrance is the Oparau general store offering conveniences from home made pies, a good sized flat white or latte, licensed premises, the possibility of your next Lotto win to petrol and postal services.
The coastal settlement of Kawhia is about 13 kilometres away. Kawhia is steeped in New Zealand history from the time of the arrival of the great waka Tainui over 750 years ago and the arrival of the Europeans just over 150 years ago.
As a farming proposition, the property is well fenced into 42 paddocks, with two bores and troughs to all paddocks. Farm infrastructure includes a two stand wool shed with storage/utility shed, lockable storage shed, cattle and sheep yards with loadout plus a 1/2 round hay barn. The current owners have undertaken an extensive fertilizer programmeas well as planting of natives and shelter trees.
With superb views rolling away in all directions, this unspoilt piece of stunning New Zealand landscape will not remain secret forever. If you dream of owning your own slice of natural wonderland either to create your ideal haven from a busy life or perhaps to share with visitors from near or far, then this could be the property you have been searching for. Continue to farm as generations have done, land bank for the future or pluck this rare jewel and make it shine, developing its exquisite beauty into something to be shared and enjoyed. This historic eco-wonderland is the spiritual and ancestral home of the Maori tribe, Tainui and the final resting place of the great Tainui Canoe; will it become your spiritual home and retreat also?
Nope, no native bush here…
Nope, can’t see the “unspoilt natural beauty” here…there is, however, a few pine trees and some coastal erosion.

About LivinginPeaceProject

Paul Murray is the founder of the LivinginPeace Project. www.livinginpeace.com Paul originally from Australia, but have been living in New Zealand for 14 years. Before that he was in Japan for a decade working as a journalist. He met his wife Sanae in Japan and they married in 2008.
This entry was posted in Advertising, Agriculture, Business, Environment, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Money, New Zealand, Parody, Permaculture, Photography, Social Commentary and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Unspoilt Natural Beauty?

  1. In that case, I have a fully functioning farm for sale. It will produce a bountiful harvest of tangled jungle annually.

  2. Dave Tailby says:

    unspoilt natural beauty would by definition imply that this land is in it’s natural untouched state, no wonder pioneers flocked here to farm as the land was already devoid of ugly native bush and already covered in lovely rye grass ready for stocking, phenomenal.

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