Office Manager:   Red Scarlett

Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer:   Pierre Moustache

Pierre Moustache

Office Secretary:   Peach Melba

Peach Melba

Bad Debts Collection:    Chopper!

Chopper!

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office – Market Cross  9 a.m. Friday morning!

Yuppette Jafa

Yuppette Jafa:  ….I..ve … just… run …  all the way from Karamea Airport and I wish to  make a complaint!

Pierre Moustache:   Yo kia ora ! An Official Complaint sis?

Yuppette Jafa:   Offal???

Pierre Moustache:   Official!!!

Yuppette Jafa:   Fish oil???

Pierre Moustache:    Official??

Yuppette  Jafa:    Oh!!  Yes!!  I wanted to powder my nose and there was nowhere at the airport!
Boo hoo!!

Pierre:   Yeah sis! You  can powder ya nose out there in our Official El Frisco Boodwa!!
Ten bucks cash eh!!!

Yuppette  Jafa:  Wow…that is a rather vicious looking Doberman out there!

Chopper!

Pierre:   That’s Chopper our Office Enforcer. Don’t worry  cuzette he only chews on
Aucklanders eh! Real fussy eater!!

Yuppette Jafa:   Oh…but I am an Aucklander!

Pierre  Moustache:   Right lady! Raise your right hand and repeat after me! “I solemnly swear to uphold the organic values of the Kingdom of Rongolia and agree as a newly ordained citizen of such republic to abide by its Orwellian laws and rather strange customs!!

Yuppette Jafa:    Blah blah blah!!

Pierre Moustahce:   Choice!!!   You are now an official citizen of Rongolia and safe from the jaws of Chopper! BYE!

Yuppette Jafa:    Bye???

Pierre:   Um… ah… by..by … the .. way.. that is a..ah…rather tasty dress you are wearing today madmoselle!

Yuppette Jafa:     Merci monsieur!!

Chopper:     Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!  (Chomp… chomp…)

Yuppette:    aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!……..

Red Scarlett:   Chopper is rather hungry today!! Who was that!!

Pierre:   Yo Bro…an anorexic Jaffette with bad breath!!!

Red Scarlett:   Yowser!!!  Look at Chopper!  He’s starting to foam at the mouth!!!

Pierre:    Hey man, that tart from Jafaville must have had rabies eh!!

Red Scarlett:  Quick call the vet!

Pierre Moustache:   No point cuz! Chopper ate him yesterday while I was taking him for
walkies!!

Red Scarlett:  Wait I’ll look in the office manual to see what we should do! Here we go
Karamea Ministry of Red Tape incident 24/2. “Office Mutt contracts an affliction of the Rhaboviridae family of viruses after consuming Jafa guacamole!”

Pierre:    ..and???

Red Scarlett:   Quote “ Pierre must immediately stick his left hand down Choppers throat and make him regurgitate offending snackette!!  Unquote!

Pierre:    Bull dust man… you just wrote that down in the manual just now Bro!

Red Scarlett:    Are you questioning my integrity and authority??

Pierre  Moustache:   Whoa…. am I allowed to?

Red Scarlett:   Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Staff Direction 5!! “Junior staff must
never and I repeat never question my integrity or authority or your share of office
bribes and free booze will be forfeited to the Saint Scarlett Benevolent Fund!!”

Pierre Moustcahe:    Yeah! Stink man! Here Chopper! Good boy….

Chopper:    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!  R…A…L….P….H    !!!

Pierre Moustache:   Yow!!!   Aaaagghhhh…..

Red Scarlett:   Pierre!  Really!!  Pull yourself together man!

Beep  beep!

Peach Melba

Peach Melba:  Yes Boss!!

Red Scarlett:  Yes! A cup of tea and two sugars please!

Pierre:     Gurgle!!!!   aaaaghhh!!!!…..

Red Scarlett:   Ah..  yes and a doggie bag for Chopper!!

Peach Melba:    Chocolate biscuits???

Red Scarlett:    Certainly not!!  Chopper ‘s on a strict protein diet!

Baron Von RichToffee:    Ya!! Excuse me. I am here to pick up ze Yuppette! I have to fly my Fokker back to Auckland in about 20 minutes!!

Red Scarlett:   I beg your pudding!!  No cussing is allowed on Karamea Ministry of Red Tape premises!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:    Fokker Tri Plane!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:

Red Scarlett:   Mile high ménage à trois!  Outrageous!!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:   Vere is ze Yuppette fraulein???

Red Scarlett:  Sit down old boy!! Bad news I’m afraid!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:   Vot is wrong??

Red Scarlett:   You are a foreign national trespassing without customs clearance on Official Karamea of Ministry of Red Tape property!  You are under arrest.   Chopper here will guard you while I have morning tea!

Chopper!:    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:   Nein!!  Schwein Hundt!!!!!

Chopper!:     S…l….u….r…p  !!!           W……O…….L……….F!!!!!!!!!!!!

Red Scarlett:     Chopper!!!!   How rude!  Do you ever say grace????

Chopper!:       Burp!!!