Office Manager: Red Scarlett
Senior Complaints Officer: Pierre Moustache
Office Secretary: Peach Melba
Bad Debts Collection: Chopper!
Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office – Market Cross 9 a.m. Friday morning!
Yuppette Jafa: ….I..ve … just… run … all the way from Karamea Airport and I wish to make a complaint!
Pierre Moustache: Yo kia ora ! An Official Complaint sis?
Yuppette Jafa: Offal???
Pierre Moustache: Official!!!
Yuppette Jafa: Fish oil???
Pierre Moustache: Official??
Yuppette Jafa: Oh!! Yes!! I wanted to powder my nose and there was nowhere at the airport!
Pierre: Yeah sis! You can powder ya nose out there in our Official El Frisco Boodwa!!
Ten bucks cash eh!!!
Yuppette Jafa: Wow…that is a rather vicious looking Doberman out there!
Pierre: That’s Chopper our Office Enforcer. Don’t worry cuzette he only chews on
Aucklanders eh! Real fussy eater!!
Yuppette Jafa: Oh…but I am an Aucklander!
Pierre Moustache: Right lady! Raise your right hand and repeat after me! “I solemnly swear to uphold the organic values of the Kingdom of Rongolia and agree as a newly ordained citizen of such republic to abide by its Orwellian laws and rather strange customs!!
Yuppette Jafa: Blah blah blah!!
Pierre Moustahce: Choice!!! You are now an official citizen of Rongolia and safe from the jaws of Chopper! BYE!
Yuppette Jafa: Bye???
Pierre: Um… ah… by..by … the .. way.. that is a..ah…rather tasty dress you are wearing today madmoselle!
Yuppette Jafa: Merci monsieur!!
Chopper: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! (Chomp… chomp…)
Red Scarlett: Chopper is rather hungry today!! Who was that!!
Pierre: Yo Bro…an anorexic Jaffette with bad breath!!!
Red Scarlett: Yowser!!! Look at Chopper! He’s starting to foam at the mouth!!!
Pierre: Hey man, that tart from Jafaville must have had rabies eh!!
Red Scarlett: Quick call the vet!
Pierre Moustache: No point cuz! Chopper ate him yesterday while I was taking him for
Red Scarlett: Wait I’ll look in the office manual to see what we should do! Here we go
Karamea Ministry of Red Tape incident 24/2. “Office Mutt contracts an affliction of the Rhaboviridae family of viruses after consuming Jafa guacamole!”
Red Scarlett: Quote “ Pierre must immediately stick his left hand down Choppers throat and make him regurgitate offending snackette!! Unquote!
Pierre: Bull dust man… you just wrote that down in the manual just now Bro!
Red Scarlett: Are you questioning my integrity and authority??
Pierre Moustache: Whoa…. am I allowed to?
Red Scarlett: Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Staff Direction 5!! “Junior staff must
never and I repeat never question my integrity or authority or your share of office
bribes and free booze will be forfeited to the Saint Scarlett Benevolent Fund!!”
Pierre Moustcahe: Yeah! Stink man! Here Chopper! Good boy….
Chopper: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! R…A…L….P….H !!!
Pierre Moustache: Yow!!! Aaaagghhhh…..
Red Scarlett: Pierre! Really!! Pull yourself together man!
Peach Melba: Yes Boss!!
Red Scarlett: Yes! A cup of tea and two sugars please!
Pierre: Gurgle!!!! aaaaghhh!!!!…..
Red Scarlett: Ah.. yes and a doggie bag for Chopper!!
Peach Melba: Chocolate biscuits???
Red Scarlett: Certainly not!! Chopper ‘s on a strict protein diet!
Baron Von RichToffee: Ya!! Excuse me. I am here to pick up ze Yuppette! I have to fly my Fokker back to Auckland in about 20 minutes!!
Red Scarlett: I beg your pudding!! No cussing is allowed on Karamea Ministry of Red Tape premises!!
Baron Von Rich Toffee: Fokker Tri Plane!!
Red Scarlett: Mile high ménage à trois! Outrageous!!!
Baron Von Rich Toffee: Vere is ze Yuppette fraulein???
Red Scarlett: Sit down old boy!! Bad news I’m afraid!!
Baron Von Rich Toffee: Vot is wrong??
Red Scarlett: You are a foreign national trespassing without customs clearance on Official Karamea of Ministry of Red Tape property! You are under arrest. Chopper here will guard you while I have morning tea!
Baron Von Rich Toffee: Nein!! Schwein Hundt!!!!!
Chopper!: S…l….u….r…p !!! W……O…….L……….F!!!!!!!!!!!!
Red Scarlett: Chopper!!!! How rude! Do you ever say grace????