Karamea Ministry of Red Tape #4

A New Zealand Government Department authorised by Parliamentary Statute and Royal Decree to receive Official Complaints!

Office Manager:   Red Scarlett

Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer:   Pierre Moustache

Pierre Moustache

Office Secretary:   Peach Melba

Peach Melba

Bad Debts Collection:    Chopper!


Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office – Market Cross  9 a.m. Friday morning!

Yuppette Jafa

Yuppette Jafa:  ….I..ve … just… run …  all the way from Karamea Airport and I wish to  make a complaint!

Pierre Moustache:   Yo kia ora ! An Official Complaint sis?

Yuppette Jafa:   Offal???

Pierre Moustache:   Official!!!

Yuppette Jafa:   Fish oil???

Pierre Moustache:    Official??

Yuppette  Jafa:    Oh!!  Yes!!  I wanted to powder my nose and there was nowhere at the airport!
Boo hoo!!

Pierre:   Yeah sis! You  can powder ya nose out there in our Official El Frisco Boodwa!!
Ten bucks cash eh!!!

Yuppette  Jafa:  Wow…that is a rather vicious looking Doberman out there!


Pierre:   That’s Chopper our Office Enforcer. Don’t worry  cuzette he only chews on
Aucklanders eh! Real fussy eater!!

Yuppette Jafa:   Oh…but I am an Aucklander!

Pierre  Moustache:   Right lady! Raise your right hand and repeat after me! “I solemnly swear to uphold the organic values of the Kingdom of Rongolia and agree as a newly ordained citizen of such republic to abide by its Orwellian laws and rather strange customs!!

Yuppette Jafa:    Blah blah blah!!

Pierre Moustahce:   Choice!!!   You are now an official citizen of Rongolia and safe from the jaws of Chopper! BYE!

Yuppette Jafa:    Bye???

Pierre:   Um… ah… by..by … the .. way.. that is a..ah…rather tasty dress you are wearing today madmoselle!

Yuppette Jafa:     Merci monsieur!!

Chopper:     Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!  (Chomp… chomp…)

Yuppette:    aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!……..

Red Scarlett:   Chopper is rather hungry today!! Who was that!!

Pierre:   Yo Bro…an anorexic Jaffette with bad breath!!!

Red Scarlett:   Yowser!!!  Look at Chopper!  He’s starting to foam at the mouth!!!

Pierre:    Hey man, that tart from Jafaville must have had rabies eh!!

Red Scarlett:  Quick call the vet!

Pierre Moustache:   No point cuz! Chopper ate him yesterday while I was taking him for

Red Scarlett:  Wait I’ll look in the office manual to see what we should do! Here we go
Karamea Ministry of Red Tape incident 24/2. “Office Mutt contracts an affliction of the Rhaboviridae family of viruses after consuming Jafa guacamole!”

Pierre:    ..and???

Red Scarlett:   Quote “ Pierre must immediately stick his left hand down Choppers throat and make him regurgitate offending snackette!!  Unquote!

Pierre:    Bull dust man… you just wrote that down in the manual just now Bro!

Red Scarlett:    Are you questioning my integrity and authority??

Pierre  Moustache:   Whoa…. am I allowed to?

Red Scarlett:   Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Staff Direction 5!! “Junior staff must
never and I repeat never question my integrity or authority or your share of office
bribes and free booze will be forfeited to the Saint Scarlett Benevolent Fund!!”

Pierre Moustcahe:    Yeah! Stink man! Here Chopper! Good boy….

Chopper:    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!  R…A…L….P….H    !!!

Pierre Moustache:   Yow!!!   Aaaagghhhh…..

Red Scarlett:   Pierre!  Really!!  Pull yourself together man!

Beep  beep!

Peach Melba

Peach Melba:  Yes Boss!!

Red Scarlett:  Yes! A cup of tea and two sugars please!

Pierre:     Gurgle!!!!   aaaaghhh!!!!…..

Red Scarlett:   Ah..  yes and a doggie bag for Chopper!!

Peach Melba:    Chocolate biscuits???

Red Scarlett:    Certainly not!!  Chopper ‘s on a strict protein diet!

Baron Von RichToffee:    Ya!! Excuse me. I am here to pick up ze Yuppette! I have to fly my Fokker back to Auckland in about 20 minutes!!

Red Scarlett:   I beg your pudding!!  No cussing is allowed on Karamea Ministry of Red Tape premises!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:    Fokker Tri Plane!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:

Red Scarlett:   Mile high ménage à trois!  Outrageous!!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:   Vere is ze Yuppette fraulein???

Red Scarlett:  Sit down old boy!! Bad news I’m afraid!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:   Vot is wrong??

Red Scarlett:   You are a foreign national trespassing without customs clearance on Official Karamea of Ministry of Red Tape property!  You are under arrest.   Chopper here will guard you while I have morning tea!

Chopper!:    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

Baron Von Rich Toffee:   Nein!!  Schwein Hundt!!!!!

Chopper!:     S…l….u….r…p  !!!           W……O…….L……….F!!!!!!!!!!!!

Red Scarlett:     Chopper!!!!   How rude!  Do you ever say grace????

Chopper!:       Burp!!!

About LivinginPeaceProject

Paul Murray is the founder of the LivinginPeace Project. www.livinginpeace.com Paul originally from Australia, but have been living in New Zealand for 14 years. Before that he was in Japan for a decade working as a journalist. He met his wife Sanae in Japan and they married in 2008.
This entry was posted in Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Karamea Ministry of Red Tape, Parody, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s