Hey Ladies, it’s Garfunkle again, anyone out there in cyberspace looking for some good hot lovin’? I’ve so much time on my hands and my hands are getting tired. Is there just one good lady out there who would come and share my days and fill my nights, my dreams, my fantasies, obsessions, weaknesses, compulsions and fetishes?
I’m a 40-something virgin with a penchant for Jesus. I haven’t done much in my life, I have little real-world experience, but I have a fertile imagination, do what I’m told and I’m a fast learner. I’m looking for a stern, domineering woman to take charge and tell me what to do. If you have what it takes to make a grown man cry and beg for mercy, call me now, or whenever is convenient for you, 7826XXX, if I’m out, please leave a message with mum and I’ll call you back. I’ve been waiting over 40 years to meat you…please call…I’m rather desperate, so even if you are overweight, hairy, missing a limb, bald, ugly, old or atheist…please call.
Or, if any of the following ladies read my message, you could also call…if you have time…
***Disclaimer: The Rongolian Lonely Hearts Club is a comedic parody, any resemblance to real persons living or dead is unintentional and purely coincidental.***
How come such a good Christian gets all the babes!??!
Chicks dig ruggedly pious chaps!