Hey Ladies, need resuscitation? I have recently had hands-on experience in the art of CPR when one of the lovely young ladies who answered my previous listings on The Rongolian Lonely Hearts Club was overcome on meeting me and fainted…apparently, she couldn’t handle my musk…but that’s another story WOOF!

Robert “Garfunkle” Davids attempts to revive a fallen petal

I’m very pleased to report that the fragile little thang is OK and, despite waking up dazed and confused and sans most of her clothes, she is indeed healthy, strong and fit oncemore.

Who is this man?

Sadly, my reputation as a bon vivant and pantsmaster has been tarnished by the mishap and I now must disguise myself in public to avoid further embarrassing confrontations with angry mothers of the sweet ladies I met online and who mysteriously succumbed similarly to my charms…

Hey Ladies…How do you like your Eggs?

Alas, I’m still lonely and virginal and should there be any lovely ladies out there with like afflictions, please call 7826XXX or e-mail me at trousers@hotmale.com and leave a brief message detailing your particulars or, if I’m not at home, please leave a message with me old mum and I’ll ring you as soon as I get home from Sunday School.

Please don’t judge me on my past solecisms, I will endeavor not to overwhelm any lovely, young, nubile applicants with my intense charm and powerful charisma…my mojo zip, zing, pep, pizzazz, punch, bounce, oomph, moxie, go, get-up-and-go, vim and vigor, feistiness or my penchant for modesty…go on, give me a call, you know you want to.

I’m waiting by the phone in breathless anticipation…Bob.