Karamea Ministry of Red Tape #15

A New Zealand Government Department authorised by a rhetorically ambiguous and a covertly fictitious Act of Parliament and compounded by a tacitly implied Royal Approval to receive Official Complaints.

Office Manager:    Red Scarlett beyonce-red-dress-695x1024

Senior Complaints Officer:    Iggy Popsicle

Office Receptionist:    IQ 36DD


Tea Babe:   Babe!!!!!


Office Superhero:    Super Moo The Karamea Wonder Dog

Super Moo The Karamea Wonder Dog

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office, Market Cross, Karamea: Monday April 1st 2012

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office


Super Moo:    Arf arf!

Rabbinnical Bratwurst III:   Shalom o cute and fluffy doggie woggie!

Rabbinnical Bratwurst III

Super Moo:    Huh huh huh huh huh!

Rabbinnical Bratwurst III:   Is it safe to pat this friendly canine?

Iggy Pospicle:   Are Tottenham Hottiespurs going to win this year’s World Series???

Rabbinnical Bratwurst III:  Nice doggie! Nice doggie! Have I arrived at the proper office forthwith to make complaint?

Iggy Popsicle:    An official complaint???

Rabbinnical Bratwurst III:   Most certainly my son!

Iggy Popsicle:    Please state your complaint!

Rabbinnical Bratwurst III:   I wish to record an official compliant about the modern youth of society and their complete idolatry of and total addiction associated with Face Book.

Beep beep!!

Red Scarlett:     What T(censored) Fuck!!!!  Ahem! Ah …Red Scarlett, Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office Manager! This better be of vital international importance!


Iggy Popsicle:

Yes boss. At the counter is Sheik……

Rabbinnical Bratwurst:    Rabbi……

Red Scarlett:    Rabbies!!




Red Scarlett:   Great work Iggy! Now make sure Super Moo doesn’t eat any of the vital organs from his rabid corpse. Moo is the star guest at Show and Tell at Karamea Kindy tomorrow. Don’t want him barfing on the kiddies!

Super Moo:     Salivate!  Slobber!  Slurp!

IQ 36DD:       Nooo Super Moo!  Noooo!

Super Moo:     Gobblemunchasnacka!!!!

Babe!!!:    Aaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!

Iggy Popsicle:  Stop being hysterical! What ever’s wrong?

Babe!!!:     Aaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!! I just remembered I forgot to wear my wonder bra and suspenders belt when I had a snifter with the vicar behind the bike shed last night!!!

Iggy Popsicle:    Now think hard!

Babe!!!:     Mmmmmm!!!

Iggy Popsicle:   Were you wearing your wonder bra and suspender belt when you met the vicar?

Babe!!!:    Ok, I remember now I was!!  But ..but .. I arrived home without them!!

Iggy Popsicle:   Ok, ok let us retrace your steps!!! Where did you go after rendezvousing with the Vicar???


Babe!!!:     I went skinny dipping by myself at Flagstaff Beach by the moonlight!!

Iggy Popsicle:     Were you wearing your .. gulp…  wonderbra and ahem … suspender belt when you went skinny dipping.… ???

Super Moo:    Huh huh huh huh huh huh!

Babe!!!:     I had my suspender belt on but not my wonder bra!!

Iggy Popsicle:    Mysterious!!!!!??? So, in between having a sly old snog with the vicar, you lost your wonder bra somewhere in the Karamea Triangle!

Babe!!!:     Yes???

IQ 36DD:     Aaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!



Iggy Popsicle:    Hysterical women!!! Now what???

IQ 36DD:    I forgot to put any money in my car park meter!!!

Iggy Popsicle:    Hey look in this guy’s wallet!  500 sheikles and a Mossad ID card!

IQ 36DD:  The meter only takes coins!!

Red Scarlett:   What is all the commotion out here???

IQ 36DD:    Look out the window!  The Meter Major!!!!



Iggy Popsicle:     Rats!! Missed!!!

Babe!!!:     Ai Caramba!@!  You shot the sherriff!!!

Kaboom!!!! Kaboom!!!

Babe!!!:        OMIGAWD! You shot the deputy!!!  Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

Red Scarlett:   Red Alert!! Crisis meeting right now!!! Troops ‘shun!

YES Madame!!!

Iggy Pop:         I see nuzzing, I know nuzzing!!!

Babe!!!:        I plead the 53rd!!!

IQ 36DD:            I need a valium!!!


Super Moo:        Shize strasse!!!

Red Scarlett:    Ok I need you all to stay cooool, calm and collectively alert! Now listen very very very carefully!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seventeen down  …. A prehistoric flying carnivore friendly with the Immortal Bard??


Iggy Popsicle:    Pteradactyllic hexameter!

Red Scarlett:    Ok fifteen down….

Super Moo:      Awarooooooooooo!

Red Scarlett:    Indigestion! I’m not surprised!! Super Moo you genius!!!! Fifteen down … intestinal eruption…ten letter word starting with f!!!! Flatulence!!!

Super Moo:      Arf arf!

Red Scarlett:    Ok last one, then we’ll tidy up that remaining rabid left toenail!

Banana Moosecurry:    Amazing Grace……..


Red Scarlett:     Chocolate muffin fit for a King Kong!!

Babe!!!:      Boo hoo! I’m no good at cryptic crosswords!!

Red Scarlett:     You silly trollop! I want a chocolate muffin for morning tea!!

Babe!!!:     Two sugars????

Red Scarlett:    Eureka!!! Twenty eight across! Number of snipers who shot JFK from the grassy troll!

Lady in red

Super Moo:   Arf arf!

About LivinginPeaceProject

Paul Murray is the founder of the LivinginPeace Project. www.livinginpeace.com Paul originally from Australia, but have been living in New Zealand for 14 years. Before that he was in Japan for a decade working as a journalist. He met his wife Sanae in Japan and they married in 2008.
This entry was posted in Art, Funny, Heaphy Track, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Karamea, LivinginPeace Project, New Zealand, Parody, Photography, Politics, Satire, Social Commentary, Weird, West Coast and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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