Karamea Ministry of Red Tape #16

A New Zealand Government Department authorised by a rhetorically ambiguous and a covertly fictitious Act of Parliament and compounded by a tacitly implied Royal Approval to receive Official Complaints.

Office Manager:     Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer:    Rubik Rogernomics

 

Office Receptionist:    Petite L’Amour

Petite L’Amour

Tea Procurator:    Eileen McTavish

Office Ananconda:    Sweetie Pie

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office, Market Cross  Wednesday   0900.01 am

Palo Murrio (El Presidente for Life of the Republic of Rongolia):   Hola senorita!

Petite L’Amour:    Bonjour monsieur!

Palo Murrio:   Si momma! I making a complaint!

Petite L’Amour:    Oui monsieur!!  Un official complaint?

Palo Murrio:   Si! .. Si! .. Si!

Petite L’Amour:    C’est oui! Non?

Palo Murrio:    Non?  Non!!   Si!

Petite L’Amour:    S’il vous plait! Tell me zis complaint!!

Palo Murrio:    Ai caramba! A thiefa, he a steal my a two wheeler from a Rongo!

Petite L’Amour:   Sacre bleu! A thief steal your Zimmer frame! Mais non!!!

Palo Murrio:   Santa Maria!!!    Non senorita!  My a silver bike a stolen from under the eyes of a the team at a Rongo Backpackers!!! Thrown on the church a roofa!

Rubik Rogernomics :   Greetings sir! I am Rubik Rogernomics Senior Complaints Officer for the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape. I will personally record your official complaint.

 

Palo Murrio:  What about a cute a babe with ze come to bed eyes!!!

Rubik Rogernomics:    Mademoiselle Petite is busy feeding bullets into my Colt .45!

 

Palo Murrio:  You got a forty five year old a horse!!  Must be your a wife! A ha ha!!

Palo Murrio:   Mademoiselle Petite, can you also please put a silencer on my weapon!

Petite L’Amour:  Ah monsieur! You make zis girl blush!

Rubik Rogernomics:   Mmmm! Let me consult the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Official Manual. Mmmm Official Complaint 28/56 “ Rongo team bike pinched, violated and discarded on Karamea Church roof.” Thirty two billion pesos! Cash!

Palo Murrio:  Ai caramba bamba! Thirty two billion a pesos! At a today’s exchange rate, that is a one dollar a fifty cents! You think I  a made of a money!!!

Red Scarlett:    (…..psssssssstt!….)

Rubik Rogernomics:    (whisper..  One in the goolies, then a head shot to finish him off??)

 

Red Scarlett:    ( whisper……No!!! We can’t execute the El Presidente of Rongoolia!)

Rubik Rogernomics:   (whisper… Karamea Ministry of Red Tape 1st Amendment. No complainant to leave the office alive!!! No exceptions!!!)

Red Scarlett:    (whisper….  Definitely no!!! President Palo is the honorary patron of the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Drinking Team!!!)

scarlet Scarlett Johansson: the most beautiful of the planet

Palo Murrio:   Ole!! What a you a whispering about senors???

Rubik Rogernomics:    Don’t you need to get a breath of fresh air outside for a minute??

Palo Murrio:    Non! I need a smoka!!

Rubik Rogernomics:     We have to execute someone or we we will miss out out on our monthly target bonus!!

 

Red Scarlettt:   Mmmmm! Ok take my car and drive up to the Wangapeka Valley Retirement Village and conduct a random drive by!!

Rubik Rogernomics:  But…but… your mother in law is the only resident!!

Red Scarlett:    The old dragon is past her use by date!! Kapow!!

Rubik Rogernomics:  How callous! Don’t you have any emotional feelings??

 

Red Scarlett:    Of course I do!   Ha ha haaaaaaa!

 

Palo Murrio:    Hey!! What about a my a official complaint??? How can I pay the a fee??

Red Scarlett:    You need to sign our Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Finance Agreement. I will read out the fine print for you!!

Palo Murrio:    Si!

Red Scarlett:   Blah… blah… blah…..Catch 22…blah..blah…blah….daily compounding interest…blah…blah…blah…penalty clause…blah…blah…blah….seize all your assets including Supermoo The Karamea Wonder Dog….blah…blah…blah….imprisonment b and d, torture….blah blah…blah!!!

Palo Murrio:  A boo a hoo! Not a Supermoo!! Non!!!

Red Scarlett:  Sign here!!!

Palo Murrio:    Hoo a boo!!! Okae! Okae!! I a sign but you a cruel a lady!!

Office Ananconda Sweetie Pie:   Arf Arf!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ring Ring!!

Red Scarlett:    Red Scarlett,  Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office Manager speaking!!!

 

Rubik Rogernomics:   (….rumble….rumble…rumble…)

Red Scarlett:    Beaudy!!!!! Did she suffer???

Rubik Rogernomics:    (…rumble….rumble….rumble….)

Red Scarlett:    No!!   Bitch!!

 

Eileen McTavish:   Cup of tea???

Red Scarlett:    Oh ta, I will, white with one thanks.

About LivinginPeaceProject

Paul Murray is the founder of the LivinginPeace Project. www.livinginpeace.com Paul originally from Australia, but have been living in New Zealand for 14 years. Before that he was in Japan for a decade working as a journalist. He met his wife Sanae in Japan and they married in 2008.
This entry was posted in Art, Business, Fashion, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Karamea, LivinginPeace Project, New Zealand, Parody, Photography, Politics, Satire, Social Commentary, Uncategorized, West Coast and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Karamea Ministry of Red Tape #16

  1. Pepe says:

    Bueno, bueno!

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