Office Manager:      Red Scarlett

Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer:       Madagascar Mirage

Madagascar Mirage

Office Receptionist:     Sizzle Voluptuous

Sizzle Voluptuous

Tea Lady:         Marjoram Eucalyptus

Marjoram Eucalyptus

Office Wombat:     Gangamania

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office, Market Cross 9 a.m.

Zorcon Kalaska:      Excuse me…..

Sizzle Voluptuous:          Sorry the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape is closed for the Melbourne Cup.

Zorcon Kalaska:       But but the Melbourne Cup isn’t until the first Tuesday in November!

Madagascar Mirage:       Are you questioning this young brunette bimbo’s intelligence? Come back tomorrow!!

Zorcon Kalaska:      What are the business hours for the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape??

Madagscar Mirage:        9 am to 5 pm no exceptions!

Zorcon Kalaska:         I have a platinum card with a $50,000 credit limit, can’t I offer you a bribe to accept my complaint now!

Madagscar Mirage:          The Karamea Ministry of Red Tape does not accept bribes but we do allow anonymous generous donations of large amounts of cash in small unmarked bills.

Zorcon Kalaska:           Name your price!

Madagscar Mirage:            Fees are by negotiation!

Zorcon Kalaska:              Look in my briefcase $20,000 in $100 notes.

Madagscar Mirage:              I will have to consult my superior officer Red Scarlett.

Red Scarlett:               Mmmm $100 notes. Wait until I get my gloves on. Don’t want to leave my fingerprints on the loot… I mean commission!

Madagscar Mirage:             The Karamea  Ministry of Red Tape is now officially open for business!

Red Scarlett:                          I will be in my office ringing my travel agent!

Zorcon Kalaska:                Holidaying somewhere?

Red Scarlett:                              Hawaii!! Surf’s up!

Madagscar Mirage:              Please state the nature of your complaint!

Zorcon Kalaska:               I want to make a complaint about bureaucratic corruption.

Madagscar Mirage:              An official complaint squire?

Zorcon Kalaska:              Yes indeed!!!

Madagscar Mirage:                The exact nature of your complaint?

Zorcon Kalaska :              The hypocrisy of Government Departmental officials taking bribes, stealing from the public fund, employing thieves, vagabonds and pickpockets and not paying tax on their ill gotten gains!!

Madagscar Mirage:               Atrocious!!! You’ve come to the right administrative office to make such a complaint!

Zorcon Kalaska:              No!!! My wallet, my watch gone! Stolen!

Madagscar Mirage:               What about your lucky cloverleaf cufflinks?

Zorcon Kalaska:               Wow, you must be psychic!! Disappeared!!!

Madagscar Mirage:                And your Schaeffer limited edition gold plated ball point pen?

Zorcon Kalaska:                Incredible! No longer in my jacket!!!

Madagscar Mirage:                Mmmm! Not your lucky day!!!

Zorcon Kalaska:                The Karamea Triangle!  Will you record my complaint???

Madagscar Mirage:                Yes indeed corruption is to be frowned upon!!!

Zorcon Kalaska:                Do I get a receipt for my money?

Madagscar Mirage:                 Official Karamea Ministry of Red tape policy does not allow for receipts but you do qualify for a Hi-5!

Zorcon Kalaska:                 Where do I sign?

Madagscar Mirage:                  Here where I marked X!

Z..o..r..c..o..n………

Kaboom!!!

Red Scarlett:                He’s still alive!! Zorcon I thought you were a crack shot!

Zorcon Kalaska:                  Argle…argle….

Marjoram Eucalyptus:                Cup of tea???????

Zorcon Kalaska:                 Argle..argle..

Red Scarlett:                 You shot off his left nostril!!!

Madagscar Mirage:                Hey come back!! He’s getting away! Prick!

Sizzle Volutpuous:                Boo hoo!! I wanted his eyeballs for my poor old blind grandmother!

Zorcon Kalaska:               Never mind let me give you cuddle!

SLAP!!!!!!!!!

Sizzle Voluptuous:                 That wasn’t a cuddle that was a groper!

Red Scarlett:                 Look sharp here comes Sergeant Paddy Locks!!!

Sergeant Paddy Locks:               Top of the morning to you. I heard a gunshot and saw a fellow in the street bleeding.

Red Scarlett:                 Mmmmm! This watch would look perfect on your arm!

Sergeant Paddy Locks:                Ta!

Madagscar Mirage:                Gold plated lucky cloverleaf cuff links??

Sergeant Paddy Locks:               My lucky day!!! Now about that shooting!!!

Red Scarlett:              The Melbourne Cup is on today. Can’t this wait until next year?

Sergeant Paddy Locks:              Well I suppose!

Red Scarlett:             Excellent!!

Sergeant Paddy Locks:             Begorrrrah!!!  My new watch, it’s disappeared!

Gangamania:             Arf arf!!