Office Manager: Red Scarlett
Senior Complaints Officer: Madagascar Mirage
Office Receptionist: Sizzle Voluptuous
Tea Lady: Marjoram Eucalyptus
Office Wombat: Gangamania
Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office, Market Cross 9 a.m.
Zorcon Kalaska: Excuse me…..
Sizzle Voluptuous: Sorry the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape is closed for the Melbourne Cup.
Zorcon Kalaska: But but the Melbourne Cup isn’t until the first Tuesday in November!
Madagascar Mirage: Are you questioning this young brunette bimbo’s intelligence? Come back tomorrow!!
Zorcon Kalaska: What are the business hours for the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape??
Madagscar Mirage: 9 am to 5 pm no exceptions!
Zorcon Kalaska: I have a platinum card with a $50,000 credit limit, can’t I offer you a bribe to accept my complaint now!
Madagscar Mirage: The Karamea Ministry of Red Tape does not accept bribes but we do allow anonymous generous donations of large amounts of cash in small unmarked bills.
Zorcon Kalaska: Name your price!
Madagscar Mirage: Fees are by negotiation!
Zorcon Kalaska: Look in my briefcase $20,000 in $100 notes.
Madagscar Mirage: I will have to consult my superior officer Red Scarlett.
Red Scarlett: Mmmm $100 notes. Wait until I get my gloves on. Don’t want to leave my fingerprints on the loot… I mean commission!
Madagscar Mirage: The Karamea Ministry of Red Tape is now officially open for business!
Red Scarlett: I will be in my office ringing my travel agent!
Zorcon Kalaska: Holidaying somewhere?
Red Scarlett: Hawaii!! Surf’s up!
Madagscar Mirage: Please state the nature of your complaint!
Zorcon Kalaska: I want to make a complaint about bureaucratic corruption.
Madagscar Mirage: An official complaint squire?
Zorcon Kalaska: Yes indeed!!!
Madagscar Mirage: The exact nature of your complaint?
Zorcon Kalaska : The hypocrisy of Government Departmental officials taking bribes, stealing from the public fund, employing thieves, vagabonds and pickpockets and not paying tax on their ill gotten gains!!
Madagscar Mirage: Atrocious!!! You’ve come to the right administrative office to make such a complaint!
Zorcon Kalaska: No!!! My wallet, my watch gone! Stolen!
Madagscar Mirage: What about your lucky cloverleaf cufflinks?
Zorcon Kalaska: Wow, you must be psychic!! Disappeared!!!
Madagscar Mirage: And your Schaeffer limited edition gold plated ball point pen?
Zorcon Kalaska: Incredible! No longer in my jacket!!!
Madagscar Mirage: Mmmm! Not your lucky day!!!
Zorcon Kalaska: The Karamea Triangle! Will you record my complaint???
Madagscar Mirage: Yes indeed corruption is to be frowned upon!!!
Zorcon Kalaska: Do I get a receipt for my money?
Madagscar Mirage: Official Karamea Ministry of Red tape policy does not allow for receipts but you do qualify for a Hi-5!
Zorcon Kalaska: Where do I sign?
Madagscar Mirage: Here where I marked X!
Red Scarlett: He’s still alive!! Zorcon I thought you were a crack shot!
Zorcon Kalaska: Argle…argle….
Marjoram Eucalyptus: Cup of tea???????
Zorcon Kalaska: Argle..argle..
Red Scarlett: You shot off his left nostril!!!
Madagscar Mirage: Hey come back!! He’s getting away! Prick!
Sizzle Volutpuous: Boo hoo!! I wanted his eyeballs for my poor old blind grandmother!
Zorcon Kalaska: Never mind let me give you cuddle!
Sizzle Voluptuous: That wasn’t a cuddle that was a groper!
Red Scarlett: Look sharp here comes Sergeant Paddy Locks!!!
Sergeant Paddy Locks: Top of the morning to you. I heard a gunshot and saw a fellow in the street bleeding.
Red Scarlett: Mmmmm! This watch would look perfect on your arm!
Sergeant Paddy Locks: Ta!
Madagscar Mirage: Gold plated lucky cloverleaf cuff links??
Sergeant Paddy Locks: My lucky day!!! Now about that shooting!!!
Red Scarlett: The Melbourne Cup is on today. Can’t this wait until next year?
Sergeant Paddy Locks: Well I suppose!
Red Scarlett: Excellent!!
Sergeant Paddy Locks: Begorrrrah!!! My new watch, it’s disappeared!
Gangamania: Arf arf!!