Karamea Ministry of Red Tape # 20

A New Zealand Government Department authorised by a covertly suspicious and deliberately rhetorical Act of Parliament and compounded by a tacitly implied Royal authority to receive Official Complaints.

Office Manager:     Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer:   Billy Connolly

Office Receptionist:   Steve Martin

Office Security Guard:   Alexei Sayle

Tea Slut:     Jim Carey

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Offices, Market Cross, April Fools’ Day 01/01/2013 0935 hrs

Steve Martin:    Chow!!!!

Herr Dim Bong Goon:    Hi ye wau ha!

Billy Connolly:    Are you taking the f…… proverbial Jimmy?

Herr Dim Bong Goon:   Nein!! Standing on ze rusty nail kamerad!

Billy Connolly:   Welcome to the  Karamea Ministry of fu….. Red Tape Jimmy!


Herr Dim Bong Goon:     Ya! Ist goot! I vishing to make ze complaint about ze Vestern forces of imperialistic capitalism laughing at my empty whetoric!

Billy Connolly:     An Official fuc…. Complaint Jimmy?

Herr Dim Bong Goon:   Ya! I intend to nuke the decaying edifices of Vestern imperialism and I have ze red button right here in my brief case!

Steve Martin:     Love the swaztika dude!


Herr Dim Bong Goon:  Don’t call me Dude! A dude is a camel’s genital proboscis! Do I look like ze camels long driver?

Steve Martin:    Yeah!

Jim Carey:        Well yeah!!!!

Billy Connolly:       You’re the fuck… crazed meglomaniac that’s going to annihilate Glasgow Rangers!  Procreate me Jimmy!


Herr Dim Bong Goon:   I am going to destroy Disneyland, the Out House, McDonalds and WWF!!!

Billy Connolly:      Never!! Not fucki.. McDonald’s!! Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve Martin:     Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim Carey:          Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alexei Sayle:         Didn’t you kill my bruvver???

Herr Kim Bong Goon:     Ha ha ha!!!  Aufwiedersein to Gentle Ben, Lassie, Ed and Skippy!! Ha ha ha!!

Billy Connolly:   No! Not fuckin. Skippy!!!!  Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve Martin:     Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim Carey:        Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Who the fuck is Skippy?)

Jim Carrey

Alexei Sayle:    Oi you! Yeah you! I’m talking to you, I’m talking to you!

Gang Nam:       Excuse me! Allow me to introduce myself I am Gang Nam and I am ze Fuhrehr’s Minister of Information. Ze glorious farterland is going to totally obliterate all memory of Voodstock!!!   Ha ha ha!!

Billy Connolly:    Are you fucking crazy Jimmy !!!!!!??!!!!! You would kill a poor innocent wee birdie!! ……. Christ!


Jim Carey:     Alrighty!!!  What a shot, what a weapon!!!

Red Scarlett:  My new designer Russian PK 126 Bazooka!!!

Billy  Connolly:  What a fucking mess JimmY! Someone get a vacuum cleaner!!!!

Gang Nam:        Anyone want to see me dance???

Red Scarlett:  We are the saviours of Western democracy! Let’s party!!

“Gang nam style, gang nam style…….

Jim Carey:                 Cup of tea????

About LivinginPeaceProject

Paul Murray is the founder of the LivinginPeace Project. www.livinginpeace.com Paul originally from Australia, but have been living in New Zealand for 14 years. Before that he was in Japan for a decade working as a journalist. He met his wife Sanae in Japan and they married in 2008.
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2 Responses to Karamea Ministry of Red Tape # 20

  1. Kim says:

    당신이 나의 어리석음을 모욕!

    난 차 우 나의 전부로 변신!

    • My online translator read your message as “You are insulting my stupidity! I have a CHOW turns into the whole of me!” I don’t quite understand the meaning…are you upset in some way? Or perhaps you found the post particularly funny, which I hope is the case as I meant no offence…I just wanted people to laugh! Thanks for taking the time to comment either way and thanks for reading The Rongolian Star!

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