Office Manager:     Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer:   Billy Connolly

Office Receptionist:   Steve Martin

Office Security Guard:   Alexei Sayle

Tea Slut:     Jim Carey

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Offices, Market Cross, April Fools’ Day 01/01/2013 0935 hrs

Steve Martin:    Chow!!!!

Herr Dim Bong Goon:    Hi ye wau ha!

Billy Connolly:    Are you taking the f…… proverbial Jimmy?

Herr Dim Bong Goon:   Nein!! Standing on ze rusty nail kamerad!

Billy Connolly:   Welcome to the  Karamea Ministry of fu….. Red Tape Jimmy!

Herr Dim Bong Goon:     Ya! Ist goot! I vishing to make ze complaint about ze Vestern forces of imperialistic capitalism laughing at my empty whetoric!

Billy Connolly:     An Official fuc…. Complaint Jimmy?

Herr Dim Bong Goon:   Ya! I intend to nuke the decaying edifices of Vestern imperialism and I have ze red button right here in my brief case!

Steve Martin:     Love the swaztika dude!

Herr Dim Bong Goon:  Don’t call me Dude! A dude is a camel’s genital proboscis! Do I look like ze camels long driver?

Steve Martin:    Yeah!

Jim Carey:        Well yeah!!!!

Billy Connolly:       You’re the fuck… crazed meglomaniac that’s going to annihilate Glasgow Rangers!  Procreate me Jimmy!

Herr Dim Bong Goon:   I am going to destroy Disneyland, the Out House, McDonalds and WWF!!!

Billy Connolly:      Never!! Not fucki.. McDonald’s!! Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve Martin:     Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim Carey:          Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alexei Sayle:         Didn’t you kill my bruvver???

Herr Kim Bong Goon:     Ha ha ha!!!  Aufwiedersein to Gentle Ben, Lassie, Ed and Skippy!! Ha ha ha!!

Billy Connolly:   No! Not fuckin. Skippy!!!!  Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve Martin:     Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jim Carey:        Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Who the fuck is Skippy?)

Alexei Sayle:    Oi you! Yeah you! I’m talking to you, I’m talking to you!

Gang Nam:       Excuse me! Allow me to introduce myself I am Gang Nam and I am ze Fuhrehr’s Minister of Information. Ze glorious farterland is going to totally obliterate all memory of Voodstock!!!   Ha ha ha!!

Billy Connolly:    Are you fucking crazy Jimmy !!!!!!??!!!!! You would kill a poor innocent wee birdie!! ……. Christ!

Kaboom!!!!!

Jim Carey:     Alrighty!!!  What a shot, what a weapon!!!

Red Scarlett:  My new designer Russian PK 126 Bazooka!!!

Billy  Connolly:  What a fucking mess JimmY! Someone get a vacuum cleaner!!!!

Gang Nam:        Anyone want to see me dance???

Red Scarlett:  We are the saviours of Western democracy! Let’s party!!

“Gang nam style, gang nam style…….”

Jim Carey:                 Cup of tea????