Karamea Ministry of Red Tape: #25

A New Zealand Government Department authorised by a covertly suspicious and deliberately rhetorical Act of Parliament and compounded by a tacit Royal Approval to receive Official Complaints!

By Raving Reporter Товарищ Самсон Казаков
 

Office Manager:           Red Scarlettt

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Senior Complaints Officer:   John Foitzpartytrick II

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John Foitzpartytrick II

Office Receptionist:     Queen Elizabeth III

Rupaul as a woman

Office Bimbo:       Mother Theresa IV

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Mother Theresa IV

Office Filing Clerk:     Pelvis V

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Pelvis V

Office Bookmaker:    Pope Shamus O’Toole VI

THE TUDORS

Pope Shamus O’Toole VI

Tea Lady:        Dianna Spencer VII

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Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Offices, Market Cross, Karamea

1030 hrs, Monday April 1st, 2014

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Goliath:               Hello???

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Queen Elizabeth III:           Hello????

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Goliath:          Down here!!!

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Queen Elizabeth III               Oh my goodness…a homunculus!

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Goliath:           I am a vertically challenged individual wot is desirous of applying for the vacant position of Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Barman!

NO BYLINE... N49ck310 The Saint Bar in St Kida. Pic. Supplied INI99676.

Queen Elizabeth III:           Ha! My pet Corgi Roger is vertically challenged!!              You my son are a leprechaun!

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Mother Theresa:      Aaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!! A goblin!!!!

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Pope Shamus O’Toole:      Holy crap!!! Satan Lucifer Beelzebub!!!

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Goliath:      Father!! It’s me your long lost bastard son!

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Pope Shamus O’Toole:    Mutter O’Mary!! A lying leprechaun!!!

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Pelvis:     Hey shorty, don’t you step on my blue suede shoes!

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Red Scarlett:     What is all the commotion out here? I am in serious conference with the Ministry Senior Tax Inspector, the Minister of Finance and Doc Holliday!!

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Office of Red Scarlett, Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office Manager

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Doc Holliday:        Read em and weep pardners!!! Five aces!!!!!!!!!!!

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Minister of Finance:      You bloody cheat!!!!!!!!!

Guy de Rotschlid

Tax Inspector:     Yeah!! All those aces are hearts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Minister of Finance:      Indeed! I also have an ace of hearts!!!

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Doc Holliday:             Yeah, but do you have a six gun this big???

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Queen Elizabeth III:       Wow!!!!!!!!!!

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Mother Theresa:        Thank you Lord!!!!!!!!

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Queen Elizabeth III:          Pon my word young knave! You deserve to be knighted!!!!

RuPaul

Red Scarlett:      Zip it Doc! I am attending to serious Karamea Ministry of Red Tape business out here!

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Reception – Karamea Ministry of Red Tape 

Administrative_Affairs

Red Scarlett:      Oh my what a cute little boy! Hello!

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Goliath :     I am 34 years of age and I am here to ap..pply for…..

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Red Scarlett:  Haaaa! What is your name then???

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Goliath:            Goliath!!!

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Red Scarlett:            Goliath!! You’re kidding! Oh I can’t breathe for laughing!! Ha ha ha!

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JFK:               Pity you’re not bald too! I know a bloody great joke !

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Goliath :                         I can mix any drink you can name??

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Queen Elizabeth:                             I’ll have a Martini, Henry!

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Goliath:                           Voila Madame!

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Queen Elizabeth:                        Burp! Jesus, I’ll have another, make it a double!!

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Pelvis:                        Bourbon and coke dude!!!         Slurp!!!!!!!!!  Snort!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Pope Shamus O’Toole:                   In t’name of t’father I’ll be having a Guinness!

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Goliath:                   There you are your worship!

NO BYLINE... N49ck310 The Saint Bar in St Kida. Pic. Supplied JQJ68005.

Pope Shamus O’Toole              Titn’t tooch t’sides! Better have                                                                                         anuther! Hic! And make it a double!!

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Red Scarlett:          You’re hired! You are also hereby designated to be Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Executioner!

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Goliath:             Do I need a weapon???

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Red Scarlett:               Ha ha ha! HA HA HA!!!!!! What a comedian!!! Yes, here!!

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Goliath:               Wow a colt 45!!!!

Performer's sticky situation with vacuum cleaner

Madeleine:           Pardonnez moi???

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Red Scarlett:          Yes!!

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Madeleine:        I wish to make ze complaint!!

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Red Scarlett:     An official complaint??

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Madeleine:    Mais oui!!

Fat-Woman

Red Scarlett:    Goliath!!!!!!!!

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(Radio Karamea 107.5 FM        “   …Kenny Rogers!!   “Jack Ruby!!! Please don’t take your gun to town!!!!!!!)

DJs Crap & Echo

Goliath:    I can’t pull the trigger for laughing!! She’s so fat and so ugly!! Ha ha!

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Madeleine:    I am circumferentially and visually challenged, but I believe Jesus                             loves me!

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Goliath:                 Noooo!!!! Ha ha ha! A rotund attractively challenged Jesus freak!!! Ha ah ha!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Pelvis:              I’ll kill her, give me the gun!!!!!! Ha ha noooo ha ha!!!!!! Stop                             looking at me like that!!! Ha ah ha!

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Mother Theresa :      Give me the gun you gutless hound dog! Am I the only with any balls round here!! Handes Hoch Fraulein!!!!

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Madeleine:      No please don’t kill me I’ve got an appointment at Jenny Craig’s in                                half an hour!!!

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Goliath:          It’s your lucky day!

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KABOOM!!!!

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Doc Holliday!:              Great shot!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Red Scarlett:             Congratulations! Let’s celebrate! Call out for a                                                   Pizza!!!!!!!!

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Pelvis:                                   Extra anchovies!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Queen Elizabeth:          Look in her handbag! Whittakers Peppermint Extra Cacao Chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Goliath:              Mmmmmmmmmm! Yum!!!

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Mother Theresa:            Cup of tea????

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About LivinginPeaceProject

Paul Murray is the founder of the LivinginPeace Project. www.livinginpeace.com Paul originally from Australia, but have been living in New Zealand for 14 years. Before that he was in Japan for a decade working as a journalist. He met his wife Sanae in Japan and they married in 2008.
This entry was posted in Art, Banking, Business, Economics, Education, Erotica, Fashion, Funny, Hilarious, Historical, Humor, Humour, Jesus, Karamea Radio, Money, New Zealand, Parody, Photography, Politics, Radio, Religion, Royal Family, Satire, Sex, Social Commentary, Uncategorized, United States, Weird, West Coast and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Karamea Ministry of Red Tape: #25

  1. DJ Pukeko! says:

    Please! Mercy on my soul! I swear by almighty God that if I laughed at this outrageous parody I only did as an unconditioned reflex! Please God I’m sorry!! Ha ha ha! DJ Pukeko!

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