Karamea Ministry of Red Tape # 26

A New Zealand Government Department authorised by a covertly suspicious and deliberately rhetorical Act of Parliament and compounded by a dubiously tacit Royal Approval to receive official complaints.

Cross-eyed businessman wrapped in red tape

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape  – Office Staff

Manager:     Red Scarlett

Sophia Loren

Senior Complaints Officer:           Inspector Clouseau

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Receptionist:    Chauncey Gardiner

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Office Shrink:    Doctor Strangelove

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Medical Officer:     Doctor Ahmed El Kabir

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Office Wine Steward:     DBeelzepub

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Office Muttley:    Super Moo the Karamea Wonder Dog

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……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape, Front Office, Monday February 2nd 2015, 11 a.m.

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Red Scarlett:     “Troops! Attention!”

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stomp……stomp……stomp……stomp………stomp…..

DBeelzePub:     “Time for elevenses!! Final orders!!”

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Inspector Clouseau:     “Yeah cobba! I’ll have a four and a half of Jack Daniel’s!”

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DBeelzePub:     “Ice sir?”

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Inspector Clouseau:     “Yeah strewth! What the hell! Make it a double!”

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Silly Hillary:     ….puff…..puff…puff…….. “The sky is falling! The sky is falling and I’m off to to tell the President!”

DBeelzePub:     “A snifter, Madam?”

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Silly Hilary:     “Well, I’m on a hi-carb, high fibre diet..so…um…..?”

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DBeelzePub:    “ There we are madam! A Gin and Tonic shaken not stirred! I have added a squeezed meat pie and three crushed weetbix and even included one of those ridiculously silly umbrellas!”

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Silly Hillary:      “SLURP! …. CRUNCH!  ….  MUNCH!  ….  BURP!”

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Red Scarlett   “You wish to make a complaint regarding the sky falling Madam?”

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Silly Hillary:       “Yes indeed! Also Foxy Loxy ate my friend Turkey Lurkey!”

Red Scarlett:       “An official complaint?”

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Silly Hillary:       “Yes! Atmospheric meltdown is frying everyones brains!”

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Chauncey Gardiner:      “Americans don’t have any brains and global warming is beneficial for our desserts!”

chance

Doctor StrangeLove:    “Ya fraulein! Please sitting in our office ionising chair you are suffering from ultra violet heat stroke! Ya”

Zzzzzzzzzztttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Silly Hillary:      “Aaaaaaaagghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!”

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Doctor StrangeLove:     “Ya! Look at her globes jiggle! Zat is hot! Ya!”

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Super Moo:    “Arf arf!” Zzzzzzzttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Silly Hillary:       “No! Aaaaghhh!!!!!!!”

Doctor Strangelove:       “More electrons fraulein? Ya? Ha ha haaaa!!!!

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Silly Hillary:     “What is that plaque on the wall?”

“MAY THE ROAD RISE UP TO MEET YOU AND MAY THE WIND ALWAYS BE AT YOUR BACK”

Silly Hillary:     “Aaaghh!!!!! …There is going to be an earthquake, followed by a hurricane! ……  Aaagghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Doctor StrangeLove:     “Ya! Fraulein you urgently require rehydration!”

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Drop……plink!…….Drop……plink!……Drop……plink!…..Drop…..plink!

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Silly Hillary:     “Aaaagghhh!”

Dr. StrangeLove :      “Ya! I need a second opinion! Ya!”

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Doctor Ahmed El Kabir:      “Quack! Quack! Quack!”

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Silly Hillary      “I do not believe that you are a doctor!”

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Doctor Ahmed El Kabir:      “Well goodness gracious me! I can hear your heart going boompty boompty boom boom!”

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Silly Hillary:    “Impostor! Show me your credentials!”

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Doctor Ahmed El Kabir:      “Satisified Madam Sahbi!”

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Silly Hillary:      “Well I do declare! Handsome! You had better take my temperature doctor!”

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Doctor StrangeLove:    “Ya fraulein! Open wide! Say Ah! I am going to give you 10 cc of Podium Penthouse Barbie Doll! Zen you will tell ze truth and nothing but ze truth! Ya!”

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Silly Hillary:      “You prick!”

Inspector Clouseau:     “Senator Silly Hillary Clinton I arrest you in the name of the law!”

Silly Hillary:     “Whatever the crime, I Plead the 5th!”

Inspector Clouseau:      “You Madame, have been charged with International War Crimes complicit with the secret destabilisation of the proud Muslim nations of the Middle East!

peter sellers peeks

Silly Hillary:      “It was President Bollocks O’Bananas idea! I’m just a porn!

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Inspector Clouseau:    “Guilty as charged! You Madame, will face Madame Guillotine at dawn!”

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Silly Hillary:     “Oh my! I’m going to get my own wax work! Eat dirt Taylor Swift!”

Funny faces: Hillary Clinton

Doctor Ahmed El Kabir:     “Why is the American CIA funding and arming diametrically opposed fundamentalist groups in Syria and Iraq!”

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Silly Hillary:     “I want to see a lawyer!”

Rumpole of the Bailey :    “Allow me to introduce myself! Rumpole QC!”

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Silly Hillary:     “Hump Roll?”

Rumpole of the Bailey:     “Rumpole! Horace Rumpole! Here is my ID!”

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Silly Hillary:     “Oh wow! My! That is a real mouth full!”

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Father Ted:     “I’m Father Ted! I’m here to take your last confession child!”

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Silly Hillary:      “Father! Your cockpit is wide open!”

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Father Ted:      “It’s t’ scouts motto! Always be prepared!”

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Silly Hillary:     “It’s been yonks since my last confession Father!”

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Father Ted:     “On your knees child and I will allow you to partake of the Holy Sacraments!”

Dermot Morgan (as Father Ted Crilly).

Silly Hillary:     “After my last confession, will I be with child Father?”

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Father Ted:    “No child! When I take confession, I always wear an Immaculate Contraception!

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Kapow!!!!

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Radio Karamea 107.5 FM with Claptrap Eriction…”I shot my dickoff etc!” ……..  “I shot my dickoff, I shot my dickoff, but I did not shoot my booty!”

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Mr. Covert:   “Freeze or I’ll shoot!”

Secret Service Agent

Father Ted:  “Patience lad! Holster your weapon and I’ll tend to you next!”

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Mr. Covert:      “ C’mon Senator Clinton! Pull up your panties, I’ve got a rescue copter at the Karamea airport!”

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Karamea Airport, Opapara

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Captain America:          “Karamea Control Tower! This is US 9-11requesting takeoff over!”

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Karamea Control Tower:         “Da! Permissioning for takeoff comrade!”

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Captain America:       “We have liftoff!”

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Silly Hillary:        “Oh Captain America! You saved my pretty sweet  white ass! How can I ever repay you?”

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Captain America:       “You can take  a hold of my joystick for a couple of minutes!!!”

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Silly Hillary :        “Oh my! It’s my lucky day!”

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton ge

Mr. Covert:       “Nooo!! Look we just  lost the left wing and half the fuselage!

edward

Silly Hillary:       “Aaaaghhh!!!! We’re going to be late for the  Super Bowl!!!

Captain America:       “Mayday! Mayday!Mayday! We’re  going to crash! We’re going down! Put your head betweeen your legs!”

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Silly Hillary:        “Aaagghhh!!!!!”

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Captain America:       “No! Senator Clinton  I meant between your own legs!”

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…Radio Karamea 107.5 FM     “B.b.b.b.a.d to the  Boner!”

BigMan Feb 2 2015

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Mr. Covert:      “Yikes! Look! It’s the Dallas Book Depository on Dealey Plaza!”

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Silly Hillary:      “Aaaggghhh!!!”

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Captain America:     “Aaagghhhhh!!!!”

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KABOOM!!!

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About LivinginPeaceProject

Paul Murray is the founder of the LivinginPeace Project. www.livinginpeace.com Paul originally from Australia, but have been living in New Zealand for 14 years. Before that he was in Japan for a decade working as a journalist. He met his wife Sanae in Japan and they married in 2008.
This entry was posted in Art, Erotica, Fashion, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Karamea, Karamea Radio, Moo, New Zealand, Parody, Photography, Politics, Radio, Religion, Russia, Satire, Sex, Social Commentary, SuperMoo the KarameaWonderDog, Weird, West Coast and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Karamea Ministry of Red Tape # 26

  1. Gertrude PokeUk III says:

    Ya! Danke schoen for exposing ze hyprocisy of ze Vatican! Ya! Never again vill I reweal my naughty sins to a heavy breathing man sitting behind a curtain in a darkened room dressed in a frock with his pants around his ankles! YA! Arf arf!

  2. Super Moo the Karamea Wonder Dog! says:

    Arf arf!

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