Sir Bob Proposes Capital Morgan Monument

Sir Bob Jones has even sent in a sketch of what the statue - in the style of Rio de Janeiro's Christ the Redeemer - would look like, towering above Wellington.


Sir Bob Jones has written a letter to the mayor of Wellington, asking if he can demolish one of his buildings to erect a 5000-metre statue of Gareth Morgan. He even sent in a sketch of what the statue – in the style of Rio de Janeiro’s Christ the Redeemer – would look like, towering above Wellington

The tongue-in-cheek letter, dated Monday, outlines Jones’s plans for the statue to be a celebration of Morgan’s “overwhelming wonderfulness”.

He seeks an exemption to the height restrictions on the site to erect the statue.

The property tycoon and ex-politician has even included a sketch of the proposed effigy – in the style of Rio de Janeiro’s Christ the Redeemer – illustrating “the splendid visual impact on the city which doubtless will enthrall all councillors, as it will every Wellingtonian”.

Jones says he also hopes to erect a Victoria University Department of Morgan Studies building, with “an anticipated annual enrolment of 6000 students”.

But he isn’t stopping there – he’s also asked Wellington City Council for permission to build a temple, able to accommodate up to 8000 “Morganist pilgrims” at once. “His abiding humility and extraordinary genius about absolutely everything demands nothing less.”

The letter says Jones’s Solnet House, on The Terrace, which would be demolished for the statue to be built in its place, has a value of $50m, which Jones would be delighted to donate to charity.

The statue itself would cost nothing, as Jones claims to have received an unsolicited letter from North Korean President Kim Jong-un, offering to build the statue for free.

His missive ends with a list of the positive economic impacts his venture would have on the city, including the need for 20,000 more hotel rooms, to accommodate Morganite pilgrims from all around the world.

“Furthermore, it will align with the council’s widely rumoured intention to propose a name change for Wellington to Morganville.”



Bob Jones-Gareth Morgan Letter

About LivinginPeaceProject

Paul Murray is the founder of the LivinginPeace Project. Paul originally from Australia, but have been living in New Zealand for 14 years. Before that he was in Japan for a decade working as a journalist. He met his wife Sanae in Japan and they married in 2008.
This entry was posted in Business, Economics, Funny, Gareth Morgan, Hilarious, Hilarous, Humor, Humour, Money, New Zealand, Parody, Satire, Sir Bob Jones, Social Commentary and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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