A Bit of Humour: Amusing E-mail Exchange with Transport Client

Subject: Transport from Karamea-Westport 27 January
 
Hi
 
I am looking for transport from Karamea to Westport on Sunday 27th of January 2012- we are a party of 2 who will have been staying at Rongo Backpackers after having finished the Heaphy (I actually called Rongo this morning about the transport options). I am unable to change my schedule to get the regular bus Saturday or Monday.
 
Are you able to offer this service? We are needing to be at the airport for a 1:15pm flight to wellington.
 
Cheers- and hope you are having a great day.
 
Charlotte Steel.
 
 
Charlotte Steel | Strategic Business Development Adviser

Wellington, NEW ZEALAND

 
 
 
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Subject: Re Transport from Karamea-Westport 27 January
 
 
Hi Charlotte,
 
Thank you for your e-mail. We can get you to the airport on Sunday. It is a shame the Karamea Express doesn’t operate on Sunday. That is because there is no back load on Sunday…the Karamea Express carries freight and post back to Karamea, which pays for the return trip.
 
We can get you to Westport in time to meet your plane. The fare is $200
 
If that is OK, please transfer the money into the account listed below and I’ll book passage to Westport for you on Sunday January 27, 2013.
 
Have a great time on the Heaphy and we’ll see you in the New Year. If you have any questions, or require more information, please e-mail or call me any time,
 
Regards from Sunny Karamea,
 
Paul Murray.
 
 Karamea Connections Logo RGB
Karamea Connections
(Movement of the People) 
Transport in the Karamea Region
www.karameaconnections.co.nz
 
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Subject: Re Re Transport from Karamea-Westport 27 January
Hi Paul
 
Yes I understand the reasons why the bus doesn’t run on a Sunday- it just would have been useful if the woman at Rongo had communicated this to me over a week ago when I phoned her and asked about the bus service, the cost and gave her the dates of my planned travel prior to booking my accommodation at Rongo followed quickly with my flights from either end, and the track itself- had I learned at this point that the bus did not run on a Sunday I could have altered my trip (I am showing a Frenchman around the country and he really is travelling on the smell of an oily rag so things must be cheap).
 
I see from your logo that you are an affiliate company; maybe you could pass on a message to ensure that travellers are aware no bus goes on a Sunday and they too can alter their trip if required- I suspect a lot of people such as myself will find it easier to ring local accommodation companies to find such information in the first instance as internet information is difficult to locate.
 
Is it possible to negotiate payment dates with you for 1 fortnight from Thursday? I note that you have not given me a date by which the money is required.
 
Cheers, and have a great day.
 
Charlotte
 
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Subject: Re Re Re Transport from Karamea-Westport 27 January
 
 
Hi Charlotte,
 
Thank you for your e-mail. I agree that the Karamea Express service that connects Karamea and Westport is hard to find…the company doesn’t have a Web site. We, however, have numerous Web sites and work very hard to get the information out to people like yourself planning to walk the Heaphy Track. Rongo is staffed by volunteers and, despite my best efforts to keep them informed of every possible contingency, situations sometimes arise that I have not foreseen, such as providing the bus schedule for a rival business….you’re right, I should have thought of this and it is remiss of me not to have done so. I will go without dinner tonight to punish myself for my stupidity.
 
It is possible that whoever answered your call was not fully aware of your travel intentions or fiscal restraints, sometimes it is difficult to fully comprehend the needs of potential customers over the phone without a full complement of information…again I apologise for the misunderstanding and promise to endeavour to rectify the problem immediately.
 
In the meantime, should you like to find more information about the Heaphy Track, Karamea, or bus transport options, please have a look at the Web sites and information listed below as I must attend to the myriad other tasks on my schedule today. Thank you for your advice on how to run my business, are you by any chance thinking of changing your vocation, as I could definitely use some help as I am clearly not doing a very good job and concede that I may be totally unsuitable for the position. If you’d like to take over, I would be interested in discussing the subject further. I see you are a strategic business development adviser…it would appear that we desperately require your services and would like to further discuss ways in which we may streamline our business and the way in which we provide information to our customers. You no doubt have a wealth of business experience and acumen and I eagerly await your imminent arrival so that I might glean some of your wisdom.
 
I also fully appreciate the sentiments of your budget-travelling French friend, the cost of travel, like the cost of running a business in possibly the most remote region of New Zealand, is challenging. The price I quoted for a return trip for two people to Westport on Sunday is the best I can do as it is a four-hour round trip of 200 kilometres, for which I must pay a driver, purchase fuel at 260 c per litre, cover the vehicle maintenance, passenger service licence, passenger endorsement for our driver’s licence, certificate of fitness for the vehicle, advertising, Web site maintenance, DOC concession to pick people up from the Heaphy…etc, etc…all of this means that I cannot offer the service for any less, and the fare just barely covers our costs. So if you’d rather not travel to Westport on our service, I suggest that you make alternative arrangements. However, to the best of my knowledge, our service is the best available.
 
Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful,
 
You also have a great day,
 
Regards from Sunny Karamea,
 
Paul.
 Karamea Connections Logo RGB
Karamea Connections
(Movement of the People) 
Transport in the Karamea Region
www.karameaconnections.co.nz
 
PS: There is a lot of great stuff to see and do in Karamea, and every 4th night at Rongo is FREE, so why don’t you stay with us for four nights, check out all wonder of Karamea and then travel on to Westport on the regularly scheduled service?
 
PPS: I did a quick search on the Internet and found a quite comprehensive list of services available for the Heaphy Track. I used a service called “Google” perhaps you’ve heard of it? It is quite useful for finding information and I would recommend you give it a try as it may alleviate future frustration: http://www.Google.com I have attached the search results below for your convenience.  
 
Heaphy Track: www.heaphytrack.com
 
 
 
 
 
From NelsonTrek Express
 
Nelson to Brown car park: $60 pp (min 4 people)
Nelson to Kohaihai: $105 pp (min 4 people) Nelson to Karamea: $100 pp (min 4 people) Phone: 0800 128 735 or (03) 540 2042 Email: info@trekexpress.co.nz
 
The Heaphy Bus
Scheduled service from 16 Nov 2011 Wednesday: Nelson/Brown car park/Nelson Sunday: Nelson/Kohaihai/Nelson
Round trip on scheduled days: $110 pp
All other days $165 pp round trip
Phone: 0800 128 735 or (03) 540 2042 Email: info@theheaphybus.co.nz
 
Maxicab Shuttles
Nelson to Brown car park: $235 (1-4 people) Nelson to Kohaihai: $390 (1-4 people) Vehicle relocations: Brown car park to Kohaihai from $150
Phone: 03 525 7365 or 027 423 7428 Email: service@maxicabshuttles.com
 
Nelson Lakes Shuttles
On demand transport service to either end of the Heaphy Track. Bookings preferred but very flexible.
Nelson to Brown car park: $55 pp (min $220) Nelson to Kohaihai: $95 pp (min $380) Nelson to Heaphy Track return: $110 pp (min 6 people)
Phone: (03) 521 1900 or 021 490 095 Email: info@nelsonlakesshuttles.co.nz
 
Abel Tasman & Golden Bay Coachlines
Service until 18 April 2012
Nelson to Brown car park
• Departs 6.45am, arrives Takaka 9.00
am, arrives Brown car park 10.15 am Cost: $55 pp
Phone: (03) 548 0285
Email: info@abeltasmantravel.co.nz
 
Biketrack
4WD vehicle with 15 x bike trailer
Nelson to Brown Hut: $60 pp (min 4 people) Nelson to Kohaihai: $105 pp (min 4 people) Phone: 0800 128 735 or 03 540 2042 Email: info@biketrack.co.nz
 
From Motueka
 
Trek Express
Motueka to Brown car park: $50 pp (min 4 people)
Motueka to Kohaihai: $105 pp (min 4 people) Vehicle re-location: Mapua to Kohaihai: $250 Phone: 0800 128 735 or (03) 540 2042 Email: info@trekexpress.co.nz
 
Abel Tasman & Golden Bay Coachlines
Service until 18 April 2012.
Motueka to Brown car park:
• Departs 8.00am, arrives Takaka 9.00am
arrives Brown River car park 10.15am
Cost: $45 pp
Phone: (03) 548 0285
Email: info@abeltasmantravel.co.nz
 
Tasman Taxis
24 hour service. Price for up to 8 people Motueka to Brown River car park: min $295 Phone: (03) 528 1031
Email: errol@slingshot.co.nz
This information is correct at November 2011. The listing order
is by advertiser from a relevant DOC recreation publication, and then others follow. The Department of Conservation takes no liability for alterations. Check with local operators before proceeding. DOCDM-845793
From Takaka
 
Somerset Trampers Transport
Takaka to Brown car park: $90 for vehicle. Phone: (03) 524 8624
Email: info@backpackerscollingwood.co.nz
 
Heaphy Track Help
Vehicle relocations only, Brown car park to Kohaihai: $290 plus fuel costs.
Phone: (03) 525 9576 – Derry Kingston Email: info@heaphytrackhelp.co.nz
 
Golden Bay Coachlines
Daily service until 18 April 2012 Takaka – Brown car park $33 pp
• Departs 9.15am, arrives 10.10am On demand service to Brown car park, minimum charge applies.
Phone: (03): 525 8352
Email: info@gbcoachlines.co.nz
From Collingwood
Somerset Trampers Transport
Collingwood to Brown car park: $65 for vehicle, booking recommended.
Phone: (03) 524 8624
Email: info@backpackerscollingwood.co.nz
From Brown car park
 
Somerset Trampers Transport
Brown car park to Collingwood: $65 for vehicle.
Brown car park to Takaka: $90 for vehicle. Phone: (03) 524 8624
Email: info@backpackerscollingwood.co.nz
 
Trek Express
Brown car park to Nelson: $60 pp (min 4 people)
Phone: 0800 128 735 or (03) 540 2042 Email: info@trekexpress.co.nz
 
The Heaphy Bus
Scheduled service from 16 November 2011 Each Wednesday Nelson to Brown car park and return. Round trip from $110 pp.
Brown car park to Takaka: $35 pp
Phone: 0800 128 735 or (03) 540 2042 Email: info@theheaphybus.co.nz
 
Maxicab Shuttles
To Takaka $110; to Motueka $190; to Nelson $235
Relocations: Brown car park to Kohaihai from $150 per vehicle
Phone: 03 525 7365 or 027 423 7428 Email: service@maxicabshuttles.com
 
Nelson Lakes Shuttles
Brown car park to Nelson: $55 pp (minimum cost $220)
Phone: (03) 521 1900 or 021 490 095 Email: info@nelsonlakesshuttles.co.nz
 
Heaphy Track Help
Vehicle relocations only, Brown car park to Kohaihai: $290 plus fuel costs.
Phone: (03) 525 9576 – Derry Kingston Email: info@heaphytrackhelp.co.nz
 
Abel Tasman & Golden Bay Coachlines
Service until 18 April 2012
Brown car park to Nelson
• Departs 10.30am, arrives 2.30pm $55 pp Phone: (03) 548 0285
Email: info@abeltasmantravel.co.nz
 
Biketrack
4WD vehicle with 15 x bike trailer. Brown car park to Nelson: $60 pp (min 4 people)
Phone: 0800 128 735 or 03 540 2042 Email: info@biketrack.co.nz
From Kohaihai
 
Trek Express
On demand transport, discounts for large groups.
Kohaihai to Nelson: $105 pp (min 4 people) Karamea to Nelson: $100 pp (min 4 people) Kohaihai to Westport: $45 pp
Phone: 0800 128 735 or (03) 540 2042 Email: info@trekexpress.co.nz
Heaphy Track transport – page 2
 
The Heaphy Bus
Scheduled service from 20 Nov 2011 Sunday, Nelson to Kohaihai return. Round trip $110 pp
Kohaihai to Nelson: $95 ppKohaihai to Westport: $45 pp
Phone: 0800 128 735 or (03) 540 2042 Email: info@theheaphybus.co.nz
Nelson Lakes Shuttles
Kohaihai to Nelson: $95 pp (min $380) Phone: (03) 521 1900 or 021 490 095 Email: info@nelsonlakesshuttles.co.nz
Heaphy Track Help
Vehicle relocations only, Kohaihai to Brown car park from $200 plus fuel costs (conditions apply).
Phone: (03) 525 9576 – Derry Kingston Email: info@heaphytrackhelp.co.nz
Biketrack4WD transport with 15 x bike trailer Kohaihai to Nelson: $105 pp (min 4 people) Kohaihai to Westport: $50 pp (min 4 people) Phone: 0800 128 735 or 03 540 2042 Email:info@biketrack.co.nz
Karamea ConnectionsPeople and bike transport to Karamea anytime. $15 pp (min $40) ($12 pp for guests of Rongo’s and Karamea Farm Baches) Phone: (03) 782 6838
Email: rongo@actrix.co.nz www.karameaconnections.co.nz
From Karamea
Karamea Connections
Transport by arrangement Phone: 03-7826-838
Email: rongo@actrix.co.nz
Karamea Connections
Transport by arrangement Phone: (03) 782 6838
Email: rongo@actrix.co.nz
By air
Helicopter Charter Karamea
Karamea to Brown car park $675 (3 people) Bike transport available
Phone: (03) 782 6111
Email: julie@karameahelicharter.co.nz
Remote AdventuresNelson to Brown car park (airstrip near Brown car park): $185 pp
Karamea to Brown River: $185 pp
Nelson to Karamea: $185 pp
Karamea to Takaka: $170 pp
Karamea to Motueka: $185 pp
Packages are available from Taranaki, Wanganui and Kapiti Coast to the airstrip near Brown car park; return from Karamea. Phone: 0800 150 338 or (03) 525 6167 Email:flyaway@remoteadventures.co.nz
Golden Bay Air
Flights between Karamea and Takaka: From $155 pp
Car relocation Brown car park to Takaka Airport: $40 per vehicleShuttles Takaka Airport to Brown car park from $30 pp
Return flight/shuttle packages from Wellington.Phone: 0800 588 885
Email: info@goldenbayair.co.nz
Sounds Air
Karamea – Nelson $200 pp (min 2) Karamea – Motueka $230 pp (min 2) Heaphy Track transport package available Phone: 0800 359 464 or (03) 547 8175 Email:nelson@soundsair.com
Heaphy Track transport – page 3
 
Abel Tasman Air
 
Nelson to Karamea: $285 pp (2 people)Karamea to Motueka: $225 pp (2 people) Karamea to Takaka: $285 pp (2 people) Phone: 0800 304 560 or (03) 528 8290 Email: info@abeltasmanair.co.nzTrack end telephonesAt Brown Hut there is a telephone for free local calls.At Kohaihai Shelter there is a telephone for free calls to Karamea and Westport.
Heaphy Track transport – page 4 
 
Also the Heaphy Track brochure has helpful information…please pick one up from any DOC office or i-Site anywhere in New Zealand.
 
I hope this information has been helpful and I again apologise for not providing it sooner, or fully training my staff to elicit all information necessary for you to make a rapid and informed decision prior to booking you travel schedule.
 
I look forward to meeting you in the New Year. Have a fantastic Christmas,
 
Regards from Sunny Karamea,
 
Paul.
 Karamea Connections Logo RGB
Karamea Connections
(Movement of the People) 
Transport in the Karamea Region
www.karameaconnections.co.nz
 
 

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Subject: Re Re Re Re Transport from Karamea-Westport 27 January
 
Hi Paul
 
Thank heaps for your reply- if only the Wellington DOC officer I had spoken to had been so helpful and not told me the best way to understand transport options in the area was to speak with ‘anybody in the region- because they will know’… note to self- don’t trust DOC next time.
 
I also want to thank you for the kind business offer. I feel uncomfortable taking up this offer without you knowing something extremely important… I have a cat. His name is Jethro, like Jethro Tull. He in fact joined my household after the feline tribute band (of the same name) separated due to internal conflicts. His meowy rendition of aqua lung is pretty impressive- I can’t wait for him to show you. I know he misses his friends though (Achmed Meow-ie and Purrcilla Queen of the Desert don’t quite cut the mustard compared to those outrageous rockers he used to sit and smoke doobies with.) I really enjoy his company, I am sure you will to.
 
On sunny days he curls up in the sun anywhere he can, and don’t you worry about those native birds- he is not a particularly good hunter- but I commend him for trying all the time (he has several participation certificates under his belt now- they keep his spirits up.) However- if you remain concerned I can put a bell on his leather studded collar (he is such a tough guy) to give all those Weka fair warning. Also, if you have cats, he is pretty good at making new friends- I will get references from Achmed and Purrcilla to prove it. It takes 2 to tango though- so your cats would have to be up for new friends for this whole situation to work out. Here he is:
 
He is trying to get in with the rasta crowd and turn that fluff into dreds- look out Karamea!
Jethro and I often talk about the reasons why his band broke up- he has taught me a lot about conflict resolution but he still has a lot to teach me. His latest pearl of wisdom is that sometimes my writing comes across too formal, like I am a bit grumpy when I am actually not. Maybe this rant about my cat will show otherwise.
It seems like we got off to a rough start Paul- now that you have met Jethro maybe we can bond when I am in the area in January.
 
Really looking forward to meeting you (and your cats if you have any so I can let Jethro know who his new mates are.)
Also- when would you like that money? Assuming you are willing to have me.
 
Cheers,
 
Charlotte
 
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Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Transport from Karamea-Westport 27 January
 
Hi Charlotte, or can I call you Steely?
Thank you for your considered response to my lengthy e-missive. I find it wise to thoroughly distrust any bureaucratic agency…DOC being a particularly severe one, should be regarded as utterly mendacious…had I known you’d tangled with the antichrist, I would have been more helpful in the first instance.
Thanks also for the lovely picture of your pussy. Jethro looks like a very contented feline and they say cats resemble their owners…another misleading comparison. You and your pussy are most welcome at Rongo…our policy is that well-behaved pussies of responsible owners are most welcome. I should mention that smoking “doobies” is currently contrary to New Zealand law and we don’t advocate the activity as we endeavour to operate our business within the confines of the legal system…and while I agree this is tiresome and not necessarily much fun, I’m sure as my tentative strategic business development adviser, you would appreciate and support the policy…If you could pass on that information to Jethro, I would be most grateful.
I’m a dog guy myself, my best friend “Moo” loves pussies, particularly looking at them intently and chasing them…and they say dogs resemble their owners…Pffffftttt!
Here is a photo of Moo.
 
Anyway, I must go…my daughter needs my attention…you are you and Jethro are most welcome at Rongo and I accept that you may have written your initial e-mail in the heat of passionate frustration. I look forward to meeting you when you complete the Heaphy and we’ll do our level best to ensure you are comfortable, content and deliver you safely to Westport the following day.
Should you have any further questions, or require more information…after perusing the Web sites, visiting the DOC offices and i-Sites, I would be most happy to assist.
Regards from Sunny Karamea,
Paul.
 Karamea Connections Logo RGB
Karamea Connections
(Movement of the People) 
Transport in the Karamea Region
www.karameaconnections.co.nz
 
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Subject: Re Re Re Re Re Re Transport from Karamea-Westport 27 January
 
 
Hi Paul
 
You can most definitely call me Steely- unless you catch me on one of my gansta rap days in which case most people call me Char-dizzle. Thanks for your warm welcome to myself and Jethro. Or this initial scoping visits I might leave him at home but bring a Frenchie instead; aforementioned Frenchie assures me he is not a terrorist but we will know to be suspicious if he starts lurking in your garden wearing a wetsuit and a beret, at which point we can beat him with the baguette that he will be strategically hiding behind his back and can then be the saviours of the nation… and maybe even make heaps of money from publishing a joint and witty memoir of the event… I might be getting ahead of myself here.
 
As much as I love constructing nonsensical emails I will keep this one short (which invariably means medium length for anybody else) for both of our benefits, but mainly my employment status- although if my trial period of 2 days with you goes according to plan I will have another job so it doesn’t really matter.
 
Is it possible for me to pay you the money for transport (and I can settle the room at Rongo if you would like at the same time) on Thursday the 6th of December (payday)? Let me know if this is all good at some point, and if not I am sure I can sort something out before then.
 
I must say Moo looks like a pretty spectacular dog- a little bit cheeky with a pretty entertaining sense of humour (perhaps like his owner?)
 
I am really looking forward to visiting the area even for a short while- I would have loved it to have been longer since I hear good things but international flights got in the way.
 
Cheers and enjoy your day- see you in January
 
Charlotte
 
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Subject: Confirmation for Ms Charlotte Steel and Nameless French Friend for Transport from Kohaihai to Karamea on January 26, 2013, Accommodation at Rongo on January 26, 2013 and Transport Karamea-Westport on January 27, 2013
 
 
Hi Char-Dizzle,
Now that we have all that sorted out…I would be delighted if you could transfer the $pondoolie for your transport and accommodation.
So it’s $15 p.p. from the Heaphy Track to Rongo=$30
One night in the Twin Room at Rongo at $35 p.p. on Jan 26, 2013=$70
Transport from Karamea to Westport on Sunday Jan. 27, 2013=$$200
Total: $300
If you could transfer the money into the account listed below, we’ll be all go.
Thanks for your amusing and frank e-mail banter, we’ve all found it most amusing and we look forward to meeting you and the Frenchman in the flesh in the New Year.
Should you possibly have any additional questions, or require more information, please e-mail or call me any time…my home phone number is 03-7826-767. Please call me directly so we don’t encounter similar snarls in communication in the future…the buck stops with me!
Have a fantabulous time on the Heaphy, a pleasant Yuletide and we’ll see you on Australia Day, 2013.
Peace,
Paul.
PS: When you reach the Kohaihai Shelter, please use the freephone to call 7826767 or 7826838 to let us know you have arrived and our driver Brian will soon be there to collect you and deliver you to a hot shower, a cold beer, a hearty meal and a comfortable bed.
 Karamea Connections Logo RGB
Karamea Connections
(Movement of the People) 
Transport in the Karamea Region
www.karameaconnections.co.nz
 
Karamea Farm Baches/Rongo Backpackers & Gallery Cancellation Policy:
If you are unable to honour your reservation at either Karamea Farm Baches or Rongo Backpackers & Gallery, please e-mail or call to let us know so that we can offer the accommodation to another traveller.
48 hours––No Charge (full refund of deposit)
24 Hours––50% of agreed accommodation fee less deposit required)
Same Day––100% (full payment of agreed accommodation fee less deposit required)
**If arriving after 7:00 p.m. please ring to let us know you approximate arrival time**
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Subject: Re Confirmation for Ms Charlotte Steel and Nameless French Friend for Transport from Kohaihai to Karamea on January 26, 2013, Accommodation at Rongo on January 26, 2013 and Transport Karamea-Westport on January 27, 2013

Awesome Paul- just one amendment- we were hoping to stay 2 nights (yes, that’s right- you get the pleasure of ME for 2 nights should you take up the offer). Our schedule is:
25th January- finish Heaphy, stay at Rongo
26th Jan stay at Rongo
27th Jan Wellies bound (flight leaves at 1:15 from Westport I think)
If for any reason your double rooms are booked for the 25th (I see how this minor detail got lost in that wordy yet entertaining banter) all good, we have a tent- or are happy with whatever fits in.
I will t/fer $370 into your bank account on the 6th of December unless I hear back with a change (I am shite with numbers so this is very possible)
No worries re banter, I am a great fan too.
Have a wonderful day.
Charlotte
PS: Frenchie= Leo.
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Subject: Confirmation for Ms Charlotte Steel and Leo from France for Transport from Kohaihai to Karamea on January 25, 2013, Accommodation at Rongo on January 25 and 26, 2013 and Transport Karamea-Westport on January 27, 2013

Roger that C-D…all sorted…thanks for clarifying and I look forward to meeting you in the New Year.

 I have booked a Double Room for you and Leo at Rongo on January 25 and 26, 2013, a pick up from the Heaphy on Jan. 25 and transport on to Westport on Jan 27 as requested.
Regards from Sunny Karamea,
P-Daddy.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Subject: Payment for accom and travel
 
Hi Paul,
 
Its charlotte aka char dizzle, or steely… whatever you like the sound of the best.Just a quick note, i have had a fecked up week and have just got back from aucks (forced to go there, not by choice – another reason being your strategic business development advisor would be great, i doubtbyou would make me go to aucks).
 
Travel was disrupted by tornado and i cant access work this weekend to get your bank info. I will put the moolah in your account monday if thats all good, sorry for this.
 
Also, here is my favourite cat cartoon thingy. I also realised i did not email back to say your daughter is adorable.
 
Have a great weekendCharlotte
 
 
cat-cats-kitten-kitty-pic-picture-funny-lolcat-cute-fun-lovely-photo-images-seymor-watermelon
 
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Subject: Re: Payment for accom and travel
 
 

Hi Steely “Char Dizzle” Charlotte,

You poor thing…you sound exhausted…being forced to go to Auckland, battling tornadoes…I empathise with your melancholy and general malaise. Stressing out over paying me is the last thing I would wish to subject you to. It would seem you have a rather sadistic employer…any boss who would force a staffer to go to Auckland, in my opinion, lacks the leadership qualities requisite with a management position and I feel you should immediately challenge him/her for the position. I suggest you front up at the office on Monday and say,”Right…enough of this nonsense, I am obviously better qualified and experienced to manage this business than you ever were, or ever will be you sick bastard, so I suggest you either resign, make yourself voluntarily redundant, take a serious look at yourself and reconsider your career at this company as your future is about to end pal.” “As of now, I will assume your position as head of the company and your first task will be to go to Auckland and spend the day bumping off self-inflated, unsmiling, vain tossers and sitting in traffic jams…and go make me a sandwich and a cuppa tea before you leave.”

It would also seem that a holiday would be an excellent idea…so, as you have already made such plans, I suggest you remove any concern you may have about paying me from your troubled mind…I’m a man of means and the piffling amount of $pondoolie in question is no concern to me whatsoever.

However, as my prospective business development adviser, I would find it unusual if you were not keen to ensure customers remunerate my venture for services provided in advance so that the provision of said services can proceed without interruption. Monday will be fine.

I trust you’ll have a pleasant weekend and arrive at your office on Monday morning with a clear head, a rejuvenated spirit, without a trace of Auckland taint, mentally and physically prepared for the confrontation with your employer that must happen…it’s you or him/her CD…time to step up girl…the future is yours and your Boss isn’t a part of that picture from where I sit.

Hypey Crassmas and a Hippy New Year,

Regards from Sunny Karamea,

P-Daddy. 

P-Daddy II
 
PS: Thanks also for the cat-toon…very good…here is a link to story about my dog…I received yesterday a phone call from the Buller District Council’s Compliance & Emergency Team Leader, who’s name is (I kid you not) Atila…to inform me that my six-year battle to clear my dog’s name is over and that I won…little David dropped a giant…there is a GOD! 
Super Moo the Karamea Wonder Dog: https://therongolianstar.com/2012/09/09/super-moo-the-karamea-wonder-dog/ 
PPS: I also shared our e-mail exchange with the world…I removed reference to your company…hope you don’t mind…It was just too funny to keep private! (You are particularly hilarious!)  
A Bit of Humour: Amusing E-mail Exchange with Transport Client: https://therongolianstar.com/2012/11/30/a-bit-of-humour-e-mail-exchange-with-amusing-transport-client/
 I’ve been putting The Rongolian Star (http://therongolianstar.com) together now for a couple of years…it’s what I do on rainy days. Check it out on your next rainy day when you need a giggle…there is some serious content, but much of it is light-hearted, somewhat risque, satire and parody and not meant to be taken at all seriously…it is as the banner suggests: Raw, Unbridled Nonsense from the Edge of the Earth 
 
….And…You’re Welcome!
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LivingInPeace Project

About LivinginPeaceProject

Paul Murray is the founder of the LivinginPeace Project. www.livinginpeace.com Paul originally from Australia, but have been living in New Zealand for 14 years. Before that he was in Japan for a decade working as a journalist. He met his wife Sanae in Japan and they married in 2008.
This entry was posted in Business, Department of Conservation, DOC, Economics, Funny, Heaphy Track, Hilarious, Hippy, Humor, Humour, Kahurangi National Park, Karamea, LivinginPeace Project, Money, Moo, New Zealand, Satire, Social Commentary, SuperMoo the KarameaWonderDog, Tramping, Travel, Weird, West Coast and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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