Those Crazy Japanese!

Posted on June 9, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

The Yamaguchi Gumi Executive (Japan’s Top Yakuza Organisation)

Nyotaimori: Sushi Served on a Woman’s Naked Body

http://heavy.com/social/2014/01/crazy-weird-japanese-game-show-gifs/8/

PUBLISHED by catsmob.com

Posted in Art, Fashion, Historical, Humor, Humour, Japan, Parody, Photography, Satire, Social Commentary, Travel | Tagged Crazy, Crazy Japanese People, Funny, Hilarious, Japan, Photography, Photos, Strange, Unusual, Weird | 2 Comments

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape #12

Posted on June 8, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

A New Zealand Government Department Authorised by a Deliberately Ambiguous and Subtly Rhetorically Act of Parliament Compounded by a Tacitly Implied Royal Approval to Receive Official Complaints.

Office Manager: Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer: Yahtzee Fu Manchu

Honorary Tea Dictator: Meoww Say Bong

Office Receptionist: Soupy Modelll

Office Brontosaurus: Mac the Strife

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Market Cross 2.00 p.m. Fliday June 20^th

Yahtzee Fu Manchu: Ah honolable missee! Please enter the Slagacious Temple of Buloclatic Indeslision!

Julia Gillard P.M.: Thank you oh Worthy Oriental Gentleman! May the Wisdom of Confucius guide your power of discernment this auspicious day!

Yahtzee Fu Manchu: What you confusciased and susplicious about?

Julia Gillard Pre M. T.: Aiiya!! Are you a boat person??

Yahtzee Fu Manchu: No klicking anyone!!!

Julia Gillard: Ai caramba! Do… you… understand…. English…??

Yahtzee Fu Manchu: Nobloody understanding slillee English people!!

Julia Gillard: Aaaaggghhhh!! I wish to make a complaint!

Soupy Modelll: Hi!

Julia Gillard: Young lady I am Julia Gillard the Prime Minister of Australia. I would like to make a serious complaint!!

Soupy Modelll: Oh!

Julia Gillard: Can you take my complaint???

Soupy Modelll: No!

Julia Gillard: Are all Kiwis stupid?????

Soupy Modelll: Aachoooo!

Julia Gillard: Bitch!!! You sneezed all over my new pink Barbie hand bag!!

Soupy Modelll: Aaaachoooo!

Julia Gillard: I want to make a %@*^$%#%#@ complaint!!!!!

Red Scarlett: Excuse me Mistress Gillard, I am Red Scarlett the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office Manager and YOU are obliged to anoint our office swear box with silver!!

Julia Gillard: Fuck Off!!! I wish to make a complaint!!

Red Scarlett: An official complaint Sheila??!!

Julia Gillard Australian M.P. for Lalor: Bloody Oath!!!

Red Scarlett: Yawn! Your official complaint Mrs Prime Minister Sir!!

Julia Gillard: Why was Australia’s greatest race horse, Phar Lap born in New Zealand! It’s sacrilegious!!

Red Scarlett: Both Phar Lap and Joh Bjelke Petersen, Australia’s Greatest ever politician were born in New Zealand!

Julia Gillard: I am Australia’s Greatest Politician ever!!!

Red Scarlett: A great politician is always remembered at their last trumpet call with reverence and respect!!

Julia Gillard: But my government is so corrupt, reverence and respect don’t even make it onto our petty cash agenda!! How can I receive such greatness!!

Red Scarlett: You need to become a martyr for a spiritually noble cause involving humanistic altruism!!

Julia Gillard: Aaaagghhhhhhhhhhhh!! I’m coming out in a rash!!

Red Scarlett: Can you think of a high minded cause so great that people would still remember you when you are compost!!

Julia Gillard: Well I always recycle my official limo parking tickets for rollies!!

Red Scarlett: Mmmm!! Let me consult the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office Manual!!

Julia Gillard: Wow! What an enormous compendium!!

Red Scarlett: Indeed here we go!! Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Section U81GG…blah..blah..blah… Ocker P.M. martyred this arvo.. blah..blah..blah.. altruistic.. blah..blah..blah…samaritan… oi oi oi…blah…blah..blah!!!

Julia Gillard: Aaaaghhh!!!!I need to have been born a saint!

Red Scarlett: You need to champion the cause of displaced persons afloat on eskis, rubber inner tubes, mah jong boards and pieces of straw!!

Julia Gillard: BOAT PEOPLE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Red Scarlett: Martyrdom comes at a cost! Mistress Prime Minster!!! You must adopt one of these unfortunates. Housetrain, clothe, feed and educate at Bingo the next immigrant washed ashore at Bondi!@!

Julia Gillard : F…u….c…k…!!! I’m not adopting a f…u…c..k…i…n…g Kiwi!!

Red Scarlett: The road to heaven is also paved with good intent Juju!

Julia Gillard: The next floater could be a bloody bludging bloody Maori!!

Red Scarlett: Martyrdom is accompanied by a feast day and any new strain of xenophobillosis being named after a suitably martyred politician!!

Julia Gillard: Cripes you drive a hard bargain!! Although, Saint Cobba sounds real brillo!

Red Scarlett: Are you mentally tough enough to be a martyr!!

Julia Gillard: Fucking Oath!!! You know I could do with a new scratching post for my pet Dingo VeggieBurger!!

Red Scarlett: Mmm!! The Maori race have a tradition of honour and mana!!

Julia Gillard: Right action plan then!! Rangonui Ragoo can have one Sabbath morning off every decade, I’ll pay him two and six once every Saturnalian eclipse. He’ll need to be deloused for lice and fleas so Veggie Burger doesn’t catch some horrible Kiwi lurgy. I’ll need 24 hour armed guards on my beer cellar. Yeah and I better tell Yuros at the local fish and chip to start opening for breakfast and morning tea!

Red Scarlett: The cost of martyrdom appears to be extremely painful Mrs. Prime Minister Sir!!

Julia Gillard: Strewth!!!

Red Scarlett: Let me consult the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office Manual.. Mmmm here we go…Section IC UBA 38C blah…blah…blah… Ocker P.M. martyred this arvo…blah..blah…blah…champion of self propelled floaters.. blah ..blah..blah… few schooners at the RSL afterwards.. blah…blah…blah. One dollar and eighty five cents including GST!!!

Julia Gillard: Bloody Bonza!! Matryrdom for the price of a meat pie!!!

Red Scarlett: Actually the cost of a plumbum parabellum corneal incision!!!

Julia Gillard just about be martyred Prime Minister of 20 million give or take dogs, wops, spics, dagos, greasers, Bongas and Bludging Bloody Kiwis: Oi wotcha cobba!! They didn’t teach us big gumboot wheelbarrow words at the Uni of Woolomoloo!!!

KABOOM!!!!!

Red Scarlett: A lead slug in the right cornea you Ozzie omgomathon!!

Julia Gillard: A…a…a…g…h…h…!!!

Kaboom!!!!!

Red Scarlett: Crap!! Now the cost is $3.70!!! The price of a chilled bottle of meths!!!

Meoww Say Bong: Missee no sligning indlemnity aglainst ploselocution!!!

Red Scarlett: Thank the Lord!! Her right hand is still twitching!! Quick get a pen!!

Yahtzee Fu Manchu: Lookeee!! Tooth Hurteee!!!

Red Scarlett: Mmmm!! You’re right it’s time for afternoon tea!

Office Brontosaurus Mac the Strife: Fart!

“This is the BBC World Service! The Prime Minister of Australia, The Right Honourable Julia Gillard Member of Parliament, was martyred this very day in the small New Zealand town of Karamea! Her Royal Higness Queen Elizabeth II ….blah..blah…blah.. the Pope…blah…blah…blah…. other world wide dignitaries including King Wasibogo of Eastern Wooga Wooga Land.. blah…blah…blah… Elik Klapton.. blah…blah…blah….!”

Red Scarlett: Yawn!! Hip hip!!

Yahtzee Fu Manchu: Hlay!!!!

Posted in Business, Economics, Humor, Humour, Karamea, Parody, Photography, Politics, Satire, Social Commentary, Uncategorized, West Coast | Tagged Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Karamea Ministry of Red Tape, Parody, Satire, Satirical | 2 Comments

Rare and Unusual Celebrity Photos

Posted on June 7, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

Jimi Hendrix & Mick Jagger, New York , 1969

Frank Sinatra and Grace Kelly

The Beatles and Mohammad Ali, 1964

Michael Jackson & Mr. T

Martin Luther King Jr. and Marlon Brando

George Harrison and Bob Marley

Danny DeVito and Christopher Reeve

Bob Marley and Jackson Five, 1975

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Shaquille O’neal

Michael Jackson, Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas

Charlie Chaplin and Albert Einstein

Mother Teresa and Princess Diana

Salvador Dali and Coco Chanel

John Lennon, Yoko Ono and Pierre Elliott Trudeau (Then Prime Minister of Canada) 1969

James Brown and Mick Jagger, 1964

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee

Paul Newman and Clint Eastwood

Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Warren G. Harding, and Harvey Firestone, 1921

Madonna, Sting and 2Pac

Steve Jobs and Bill Gates

Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X

James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor

Ian Fleming and Sean Connery

Johnny Cash and Ray Charles

Elvis Presley and Tom Jones

Walt Disney and Shirley Temple

Dave Grohl, Ru Paul and Kurt Cobain

Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Elvis Presley and Johnny Cash

Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong

Charlie Chaplin and Mahatma Gandhi

Marilyn Monroe and Sammy Davis Jr.

The cast of the original Star Wars Trilogy

Francis Ford Coppola

Bob Dylan with Sonny and Cher

Madonna

Jack Nicholson

Andy Warhol with John and Yoko Lennon

Marlon Brando

Frank Sinatra

Kurt Cobain

Warren Beatty and Jack Nicholson

Bruce Lee

Dennis Hopper

Sean Connery

John Travolta

John Voight and Angelina Jolie

Stanley Kubrick

Marilyn Monroe

Paul McCartney

Jane Seymour and Freddie Mercury

Alfred Hitchcock and Sons

JFK and Marilyn Monroe

Eric Clapton (left) and his Mum

Jimmy Page

Michael and Kirk Douglas

Sean Connery and Brigitte Bardot

Michael Jackson

Poof Daddy

Brigitte Bardot in Rome, 1960s

Charles Bukowski

Posted in Art, Fashion, Historical, Humor, Humour, Photography | Tagged B&W Photos, Celebrity Photos, Famous People, Funny, Hilarious, Historical, Humor, Humour, Interesting, Photography, Rare, Unusual | 5 Comments

European Economic Theory According to Edmund Blackadder

Posted on June 7, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

Baldrick: “What I want to know, Sir, is, before there was a Euro there were lots of different types of money that different people used. And now there’s only one type of money that the foreign people use. And what I want to know is, how did we get from one state of affairs to the other state of affairs.”

Blackadder: “Baldrick. Do you mean, how did the Euro start?”

Baldrick: “Yes, Sir.”

Blackadder: “Well, you see Baldrick, back in the 1980s there were many different countries all running their own finances and using different types of money. On one side you had the major economies of France , Belgium , Holland and Germany , and on the other, the weaker nations of Spain , Greece , Ireland , Italy and Portugal . They got together and decided that it would be much easier for everyone if they could all use the same money, have one Central Bank, and belong to one large club where everyone would be happy. This meant that there could never be a situation whereby financial meltdown would lead to social unrest, wars and crises.”

Baldrick: “But this is sort of a crisis, isn’t it Sir?”

Blackadder: “That’s right Baldrick. You see, there was only one slight flaw with the plan.”

Baldrick: “What was that then, Sir?”

Blackadder: “It was Bollocks.”

Posted in Business, Economics, Historical, Humor, Humour, Politics, Social Commentary | Tagged Baldrick, Black Adder, Blackadder, Economics, Edmund Black Adder, Euro, European Economy | Leave a comment

The Rongolian Lonely Hearts Club

Posted on June 6, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

Hey Ladies, need resuscitation? I have recently had hands-on experience in the art of CPR when one of the lovely young ladies who answered my previous listings on The Rongolian Lonely Hearts Club was overcome on meeting me and fainted…apparently, she couldn’t handle my musk…but that’s another story WOOF!

Robert “Garfunkle” Davids attempts to revive a fallen petal

I’m very pleased to report that the fragile little thang is OK and, despite waking up dazed and confused and sans most of her clothes, she is indeed healthy, strong and fit oncemore.

Who is this man?

Sadly, my reputation as a bon vivant and pantsmaster has been tarnished by the mishap and I now must disguise myself in public to avoid further embarrassing confrontations with angry mothers of the sweet ladies I met online and who mysteriously succumbed similarly to my charms…

Hey Ladies…How do you like your Eggs?

Alas, I’m still lonely and virginal and should there be any lovely ladies out there with like afflictions, please call 7826XXX or e-mail me at trousers@hotmale.com and leave a brief message detailing your particulars or, if I’m not at home, please leave a message with me old mum and I’ll ring you as soon as I get home from Sunday School.

Please don’t judge me on my past solecisms, I will endeavor not to overwhelm any lovely, young, nubile applicants with my intense charm and powerful charisma…my mojo zip, zing, pep, pizzazz, punch, bounce, oomph, moxie, go, get-up-and-go, vim and vigor, feistiness or my penchant for modesty…go on, give me a call, you know you want to.

I’m waiting by the phone in breathless anticipation…Bob.

***Disclaimer: The Rongolian Lonely Hearts Club is a comedic parody, any resemblance to real persons living or dead is unintentional and purely coincidental.***

Posted in Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Karamea, New Zealand, Parody, Satire, Sex, Social Commentary, Weird, West Coast | Tagged Funny, Garfunkle, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Lonely Hearts, Lonely Hearts Club, Parody, Personal ad, Rongolian, Satire, The Rongolian Lonely Hearts Club | 2 Comments

More Handy Viz Top Tips for Everyday Living

Posted on June 6, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

Jed Furker says, “MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice quickly and watch the driver in front hit his brakes when he thinks he’s been caught.”

GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

EMPLOYERS: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.

MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire – then turn it down three notches. This saves your wife having to do it.

DRIVERS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

BANGING two pistachio nut shells together gives the’ impression a very small horse’ is approaching.

DON’T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and I hum it. If you want to “switch tracks”, simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

CINEMAGOERS: Have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by using the toilet before the film starts.

DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by moving everything into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, move it all back again.

CAR THIEVES: Don’t be discouraged if nothing is on view. The valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

RAPPERS: Avoid having to say: “Know what I’m sayin'” all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

Big Man says, “SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.”

SINGLE MEN: Convince people you have a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

EMPLOYEES: Only use the loo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you’ll also be getting paid.

SCROOGES: Save money at Christmas by returning last year’s cards to the sender with the simple inscription “Same to you.”

MICRA DRIVERS: Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the thing like a sodding dodgem car anyway.

ANGLERS: Attach a helium balloon to your line and bait the hook with an acorn. Then sit under a tree and “fish” for squirrels. An upturned laundry basket would make an ideal keep-net, but don’t forget to throw the squirrels back into the tree at the end of the day.

SINGLE MEN: Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman’s Hour on Radio 4, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV while trying to watch something on Discovery Wings.

TIGHT-ARSED blokes: Only date girls called Natalie, Carol, Holly or Eve. Chances are their birthday is around Christmas and you won’t have to shell out for a present until then, by which time they will have chucked you.

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping it into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After three miles, phone your wife to take the egg out the pan.

SHOPPERS: Take one grape to the till. It won’t register on the low-tech, insensitive scales so you will get it for free. Repeat this procedure 100 times or so and you have yourself a free bunch of grapes.

McDONALD’S: Make your brown carrier bags green so they blend in with the countryside after they’ve been thrown out of car windows.

A POST-IT Note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal way to foil lip-readers.

Jesus says, “AMERICANS: Save valuable time by not pending “God bless America” to your every sentence.”

TOWN COUNCILS: Reduce litter problems by issuing blind folk with pointy sticks.

WHEN visiting a motorway service station for a cup of tea and a slice of cake, make sure you arrange your bank loan or second mortgage before you get to the tills, saving time and embarrassment.

CYCLISTS: Avoid getting a sore behind by simply placing a naan bread over your saddle. This will comfort your ride and when you return home, hey presto! A warm snack.

HOUSEWIVES: Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, circle the soiled area with a permanent pen so that when you remove it from the washing machine you can check the stain has gone.

SKY TV viewers: Avoid repetitive strain injury by holding down the “prog+” button on your remote control and taping your finger in place.

YOUNG mothers: Calm hysterically crying children in the supermarket by firmly slapping their legs and then tugging them along by the wrist.

PHILANDERERS: Avoid the embarrassment of shouting out the wrong name in bed by having flings only with girls who have the same name as your wife.

Mr Diego Maradona says, “FOOTBALLERS: Remember there is plenty of time to get drunk after your playing career has ended.”

HORSE whisperers: Speak louder. The animals will hear you more clearly, thus speeding up training times.

FEMALE shop assistants: When a garage mechanic comes to your till, add on a selection of random items they didn’t know they needed and charge them $50 labour costs for the transaction.

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red I wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.

Posted in Humor, Humour, Parody, Photography, Politics, Satire, Social Commentary, Uncategorized | Tagged Funny, Handy Suggestions, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Parody, Satire, Top Tips, Top Tips for Everyday Living, Viz, Viz Magazine | 2 Comments

Orville Wrong: The Cat that Keeps on Giving

Posted on June 4, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

Dutch Artist Invents Perpetual Pet

Cats away! Artist turns dead pet into helicopter

By SUZANNAH HILLS

Many animal lovers find it hard to part with their pets when they die.

So when cat Orville, named after the famous aviator Orville Wright, was run over by a car, his artist owner decided to turn him into a permanent piece of artwork as the ultimate tribute by transforming him into a flying helicopter.

Dutch artist Bart Jansen first stuffed Orville before teaming up with radio control helicopter flyer Arjen Beltman to build a specially-designed flying mechanism to attach to the cat.

Paws for thought: Cat Orville was turned into a helicopter by his artist owner Bart Jansen, pictured right,after he was run over by a car

Flying high: Bart Jensen has dubbed his cat art The Orvillecopter

Cat overhead: Radio control helicopter flyer Arjen Beltman, pictured back right, controls The Orvillecopter

The end result, named the Orvillecopter, is now on show at the Kunstrai art festival in Amsterdam where visitors can watch Orville flying for themselves.

Jansen said the Orvillecopter is ‘half cat, half machine’, and part of a visual art project to pay tribute to his cat Orville.

Jansen, part of the art cooperative Generaal Pardon, said: ‘After a period of mourning he received his propellers posthumously.’

He added that Orville will soon be ‘flying with the birds’ stating: ‘Oh how he loved birds. He will receive more powerful engines and larger props for his birthday. So this hopping will soon change into steady flight.’

Moving art: The Orvillecopter is on display in a gallery during at the Kunstrai art festival in Amsterdam

Tribute: Dutch artist Bart Jansen made the The Orvillecopter as part of a visual art project to pay tribute to his cat Orville

Putting on the finishing touches: Bart Jansen, left, made the cat contraption with radio control helicopter flyer Arjen Beltman, pictured right

Posted in Art, Humor, Humour, Satire, Social Commentary, Uncategorized | Tagged Art, artist/, cat, dead cat, Dead pet, helicopter, taxidermy | 2 Comments

Busy Day for Paris

Posted on June 4, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

Jail Bird Paris

Hirsute Paris

Lippy Paris

Stoner Paris

Miss Piggy Paris

Black Paris

Gardening Paris

Future Paris

Paris Hilton (left) with Pig

Angel Paris

Goatee Paris

Cuffed Paris

Buff Paris

Farmer Paris

Tattooed Paris

Bearded Paris

Paris with Pony

Postage Paris

Sister Paris

Puppy Paris

Smiley Paris

Sailor Paris

Paris Hilton and the Pope in a Raphael Painting

Raphael Paris

Deformed Freak Paris

Pariscature

Plastic Surgery Paris

Paris and Friend

Liberty Paris

Captain Paris

South Park Paris

Twisted Paris

Marilyn Paris

Top Gear Paris

Paris with Sugar Daddy

Obese Paris

Tribal Paris

Paris for President?

Paris Hellton

Patriotic Paris

Lingerie Paris

Picasso Paris

Timeline Paris

Posted in Fashion, Humor, Humour, Parody, Photography, Satire, Social Commentary, Uncategorized | Tagged Busy Day for Paris Hilton, Hilton, Paris, Paris Hilton | Leave a comment

Unicycling The Heaphy Track

Posted on June 2, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

By Ken Looi

The 82km Heaphy Track is one of New Zealands nine ‘Great Walks’, located at the top of the South Island in Kahurangi National Park. Every year, thousands of people make the trek across some of the most diverse terrain in New Zealand, from beech forest, to Alpine scrub, to the rugged West coast.

So of course, we had to unicycle it, because if it was a great walk, it had to be a great ride! The idea formed when I was contacted by the National History Unit, who were doing a documentary on National Parks in NZ. Fast forward several months, and five unicyclists were ready to tackle the Heaphy Track on their unicycles. The park was open to cyclists for a trial period of three years, during the winter off-peak walking season.

We met up in Nelson, a city at the top of the South Island, with Sean and John flying from Brisbane, and John and I flying in from the North Island. We were picked up by Rachel, a local unicyclist who I hadn’t seen since our last adventure on the Queen Charlotte Track 7yrs earlier! After packing our unicycles into the van, we drove to Karamea, a small town on the West Coast. The 5 1/2hr drive was scenic, but we were glad to stretch our legs when we got there.

The psychedelically coloured Rongo Backpackers where we stayed was like finding Kermit the Frog in Bilbo Baggins’ hobbit hole. It stood out in the drizzly West Coast town like a rainbow, literally. We had to rub our eyes a few times before we walking in. As if Mother Nature was in agreement, a rainbow appeared, arching over our accommodation.
We left bright and early the next morning. The rain had cleared, so we were happy that the start of our ride would be warm and sunny. After the obligatory ‘before’ pictures, we headed onto the track.

Unicyclists Arrive at Rongo Backpackers: http://www.rongobackpackers.com

The first section of the Heaphy was easy singletrack, as we started our ride from the West (most people attempt it in the opposite direction). It twisted and turned through low lying forest, punctuated by various swing-bridges, before hitting the coast. It was chance for many photo ops, although not a good idea to stop for too long, John found out. After casually stripping down as the weather warmed, he found himself feeding the local sand-fly population.

We meandered along the coast until we reached Heaphy Hut, at which time we realised we were running behind schedule. Being winter, we needed to get to our hut before sunset at 5pm. With the heavy packs, it had taken us longer than we expected, and we still had a 700m climb ahead of us!

After a quick lunch at the river mouth, we raced up the Heaphy River for about 8km, crossing more swing bridges along the way, and startling the occasional mountainbiker. We topped up our water supplies at Lewis Hut, before the long hike up the hill. The never ending climb and heavy packs took their toll, and we found ourselves still a few kms from the top as the sun went down. Fortunately we had some powerful LED lights and Sean’s rendition of Elvis to keep us going.

When we arrived at the summit, it was at one of the busier huts- the James McKay Hut. Our destination was Saxon Hut, but due to (my) miscalculation, we didn’t realise it was still a full 10km away, so we decided to attempt to stay at McKay Hut for the night. Despite being full of mountainbikers, there was still room for five cold and tired unicyclists. We were greeted by some friendly two wheel folk who shared their food as well as accommodation.

The next morning we were up much earlier, hoping not to get caught in the dark and to beat the forecast storm that was due to hit in the afternoon. The first section went along an alpine tussock area, and we had to be careful to avoid the many wheel sucking bogs which appeared along the track. It was the prettiest section of the Heaphy, with low lying scrub and crisp mountain air.

We arrived at Saxon Hut (our original destination for the night) after of two hours of hard riding, so we were glad not to have attempted it last night. It was disappointing not to stay there- it was by far the nicest hut, set like an island in the midst of a tussock plain. John brewed us up a steaming pot of coffee which warmed us up before heading back on the track.

The Heaphy continued to climb gently along the ridge. We came across a small forest in the Gowland Downs area that looked like something out of a fairy tale. It was a moss covered, fern lined oasis of trees could easily be the setting for Snow White and the Seven dwarves.

We stopped briefly for another hot cuppa at Perry Hut, before beginning the descent to Brown Hut, our destination for the night. This was the most fun part of the track, as we could forget the weight on our packs as we blasted down the hill. It was getting dark when we arrived at Brown Hut, but the last few kilometres made it worthwhile.
The film crew from the Natural History Unit met up with us at the bottom, and congratulated us on what was one of the toughest Muni rides we’d ever attempted.

Hopefully, it will show people what unicyclists are capable of when the National Parks documentary series comes out.

Posted in Business, Department of Conservation, DOC, Environment, Heaphy Track, Humor, Humour, Kahurangi National Park, Karamea, Mountain Biking, MTB, Photography, Travel, West Coast | Tagged Heaphy Track, Kahurangi National Park, karamea, Rongo Backpackers, Unicycle, West Coast | Leave a comment

All About The LivinginPeace Project

Posted on May 31, 2012 by LivinginPeaceProject

Posted in Agriculture, Art, Business, Environment, Humor, Humour, Kahurangi National Park, Karamea, Mountain Biking, MTB, Permaculture, Photography, Tramping, Travel, West Coast | Tagged Art, Bach, Baches, backpackers, education, Experience, Farm, Farmstay, Holiday, Hostel, Kahurangi National Park, karamea, Karamea Farm Baches, Living, LivinginPeace Project, New Zealand, Peace, Permaculture, Rongo, South Island, Travel, West Coast | 3 Comments

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