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The LivinginPeace Project
Use of Overt Sexual Imagery and Innuendo in Advertising
Posted in Advertising, Fashion, Historical, Humor, Humour, Parody, Photography, Satire, Uncategorized
Tagged Advertising, Imagery, Innuendo, Marketing, Parody, Satire, Sexual
2 Comments
Karamea Ministry of Red Tape #7
A New Zealand Government Department Authorised by a Covertly Ambiguous and Deliberately Rhetorical Act of Parliament Compounded by a Subtly Implied Royal Consent to Receive Official Complaints.
Office Manager: Red Scarlett
Senior Complaints Officer : Jacquie La Rapier
Office Parrot : Bob!
Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office – Market Cross Monday 9.03 a.m.
Sheik DJ Pukeko: Salam Alekum Sahbiti!
Office Parrot: Rurrkk!! Wa salam ! Rurrkkk!!
Sheik DJ Pukeko: A thousand humble felicitations O Ignorant Feathered Pedagogue of the Salubrious Temple of Sycophantic Worship!
Office Parrot: Rurrkk!! A million greasy yet humble kowtows O Wise Prince of the Burning Sands of the Sahara!
Jacquie La Rapier: Eh bien Monsieur Sheik! Welcome to the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape, do you wish to file a complaint?
Sheik DJPukeko: If Allah is willing, O Celestial Daughter of the Risen Star of Al Harem Kebaab Rhubarba!
Jacquie La rapier An official complaint O Magnificent Warrior of the Cosmic Maelstrom of Fortitude?
Sheik DJPukeko: O yes Mighty Princess of the Third Moon of Al Moro Kakao Galah. I have been wounded in mortal combat!!!
Jacquie La Rapier: Your humble under worked and over bribed slave is at your esteemed service O Enlightened Third Cousin, Twice Removed of the Wicked Aunt of Al Jeraboam Hezawalli Baabaa!
Sheik DJPukeko: A calamitous indignity was visited upon my innocent soul by three rebellious infidel sons of the Red Scorpion of Al Kamekuza Beerjaah!
Jacquie La Rapier: My sagacious quill thirstily awaits to inscribe your tortured aggrievement…um… ah…O Immortal Prince of the Temple of the Eight Columns of Wisdom!
Sheik DJ Pukeko: Seven!!!
Jacquie La Rapier: Seven Columns?? A billion sarcastic pardons O Venerable Sage of the East!
Sheik DJPukeko: A trillion equally sarcastic, but definitively more derisive desert spoons of forgiveness O Bride of the Blood Sucking Black Leech of the Quagmire of El Geezer Salami!
Jacquie La Rapier: Do you wish to pay by credit card, or cash O Esteemed Corpulent Father of Flatulence??
Sheik DJPukeko: By the hairy vertical moustache of the Prophet of Barbieloin! There is a fee?
Jacquie La Rapier: Yes O Wondrous Lapdog of the Shining Muse of Al Kofe Aroma Bizarre! Five thousand sheikels!!!
Sheik DJPukeko: Sheikels!!! Heathen Plaything of the Mad Caliph of Cairo, in my kingdom you would be beheaded at dusk by five wise virgins for daring to insult the Prince of Al Panache!
Jacquie La Rapier: An exponentially fractionalised excuse for a silly sorry O Rapacious Emerald Jewel of the River of El Mozza Rellah Piza Riah!!!
Sheik DJPukeko: What proper and worthy form of emolument would satisfy the lucratic lust of the Hungry Tiger of El Cheroot!
Jacquie La Rapier: The Karamea Ministry of Red Tape also accepts U.S. dollars and long option pork belly futures!!!
Sheik DJPukeko: Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!! Aaaiiieeeee!!!!!! Eeeeyaaaahhhh!!!!!
Red Scarlett: Indigestion? O Worthy Devotee of the Salacious Aroma of the Blooming Lustrous Flower of Queen Cleosativa!
Sheik DJPukeko: The burning ashes of the Raging Volcano of Al Berkchookah be visited upon your house this very day O Transparent Platitudinous Mongrel of the Bottomless Pit of Iniquity!
Beep Beep
Tea Bimbo Thingy: Yes Boss!
Red Scarlett: A special coffee for our honourable guest O Fine and Virtuous Purveyor of Lactated Caffeine!
Tea Thingy Bimbo: Is DJPukeko from Rongo at the front desk pretending to be an Arab Sheik again???
Red Scarlett: Your psychic perceptivenesss and unquestionably inbred inquisitiveness will be rewarded in the heavenly realms O Wise Mother of the Tin of El Bikkah!!
Sheik DJ Pukeko: Can you please record the wounds of my injured soul O Sultana of the Golden Shrine of Gullibility??
Red Scarlett: The office is closing for the long holiday weekend O Noble Black Ratfink of the Fiery Conflagration of the Mount of El Tia Maria!
Sheik DJPukeko: By the Flaming Sabre of El Chow Mein! It’s Monday and it’s only 10 o’clock in the morning O Procrastinating Pistachio of the Fountain of Irresponsibilty!
Red Scarlett: Yawn! It’s been a long week!! Well, ok you have one minute O unfortunate threat to the Yearning Holistic Retreat of El Alco Hola!!
DJPukeko: The ultimate indignity was heaped upon my virtuous head! I was beaten at chess by Swami Harry Krishna Amdi after being induced to quaff a vile snake venom by two infidel dogs named Alistair and Jonas!!!
Red Scarlett: Single or double malt???
DJPukeko: Son of a vegetarian vulture!!! How dare you suggest a servant of Mecca would imbibe the Poison of Foolishness!!
Red Scarlett: Irish or Scotch???
DJPukeko: The ambrosia of the green valley of Ell Tullah Morah spiked with the vile tincture of the diamond headed cobra’s bite brought confusion and cerebral inexactitude upon my computational ………………
KABOOM!!!!
Red Scarlett: Yawn!!!
Quotations about bureaucracy and red tape…
“Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy.” ~ Franz Kafka
“Bureaucracy is the epoxy that greases the wheels of progress.” ~ James Boren
“Bureaucracy — the giant power wielded by pygmies.”
~ Honoré de Balzac
“Bureaucracy, the rule of no one, has become the modern form of despotism.” ~ Mary McCarthy
“To get the attention of a large animal, be it an elephant or a bureaucracy, it helps to know what part of it feels pain. Be very sure, though, that you want its full attention.” ~ Kelvin Throop aka R.A.J. Philips
“The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency.” ~ Eugene McCarthy
“Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.” ~ Javier Pascal Salcedo
“Bureaucracy expands to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.” ~ Oscar Wilde.
“If we could ever make red tape nutritional, we could feed the world.” ~ Robert Schaeberle
“You will never understand bureaucracies until you understand that for bureaucrats procedure is everything and outcomes are nothing.” ~ Thomas Sowell
Posted in Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Karamea, Karamea Ministry of Red Tape, Parody, Satire
Tagged Art, Bureaucracy, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, karamea, Karamea Ministry of Red Tape, Parody, Satire
2 Comments
Rather Sexist Advertising from the 1950s
Posted in Advertising, Historical, Humor, Humour, Parody, Satire, Uncategorized
Tagged 1950s, Advertising, Misogynistic, Not Politically Correct, Politically Incorrect, Sexist
1 Comment
Karamea Connections Big Tree Jungle Adventure
Today: Big Tree Jungle Tour
Karamea Connections: Movement of the People
Depart Rongo @ 5:00 p.m.
$10 per person (Rongolian Wwoofers free)
(Minimum 4 paying passengers)
(Maximum 9 passengers)
This two-hour tour includes:
- A visit to the “Big Rimu Tree,” (which is a big rimu tree).
- A walk through the jungle to two gigantic ancient rata trees in the LivinginPeace Forest.
(The LivinginPeace Forest is an 80-acre regenerating forest property property that acts as a carbon sink to balance the carbon emissions of the LivinginPeace Project…the LivinginPeace Project is Carbon Neutral)
- A visit to Virgin Creek at the mouth of Karamea Gorge.
(Non-virgins permitted)
- Commentary by guide includes botanical information about trees and plants (in Latin) and historical stories about the Karamea region.
Posted in Uncategorized
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Interesting Illusions
Optical Illusions in Art
Reversible Head With Basket of Fruit (circa 1590) by Giuseppe Arcimboldo
Tilt the painting one way and it is a vibrant heap of autumnal bounty, as apples, pears, grapes, and figs puzzle for position in an alluring, if seemingly conventional, still life. Flip the oil-on-panel work on its head, as if shaking loose the fruit that fills the wicker basket, and suddenly the plumped-up portrait of a stranger assembles itself from the bright jumble of assorted sweetness. The fibrous lashes of his chestnut eye wink at you playfully to punctuate the visual joke. Painted by the 16th Century Milanese Mannerist Giuseppe Arcimboldo, who would later inspire the imaginations of 20th Century Surrealist painters, Reversible Head With Basket of Fruit tricks the eye into the restless exercise of constructing and destroying one image in favour of the other. The result is a work that is at once amusing and profound – one that reminds the observer not only of the perishability of life but how our physical existence is comprised, materially, of the fragile world around us. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
Camera degli Sposi of the Ducal Palace, Mantua, Italy (circa 1465-74) by Andrea Mantegna
To stand in the centre of the medieval bridal chamber of the Ducal Palace in Mantua and look up is to see the enclosed space magically widen above you. Suddenly, a shaft of unalterably beautiful blue sky beckons through a round aperture (or oculus) rimmed with angelic figures. Impossibly, the barrier of the ceiling appears to have dissolved, revealing an invisible architecture that telescopes towards heaven, thrusting your soul in the direction of the divine. The evaporative effect is the handiwork of Italian artist Andrea Mantegna – a genius of dramatic foreshortened perspective and depicting figures illusionistically di sotto in sù (or “below upwards”). Mantegna saw the flat surface of a canvas or ceiling as an opportunity to take an observer’s eye and soul on a spiritual journey inwards, upwards, and outwards. Believed to be the first artist since antiquity to employ such an illusion as a dimension of interior design, Mantegna breathed new religious life into a pagan trick. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
All is Vanity (1892) by Charles Allan Gilbert
Stand close to the black-and-white drawing and it appears to be little more than a depiction of a familiar domestic interior scene: a woman sitting at her dressing table (or “vanity”) staring at her reflection in the mirror opposite. Step back, and the image, deprived of its scrutinisable details, curdles grimly into an all-encompassing skull, grinning gothically from the shadows. Once the two overlapping images are registered in the observer’s mind, the eye shuttles between comprehension of one and then the other, as they wrestle for priority. A contrivance of the illustrator Charles Allan Gilbert, the drawing offered American magazine readers in the closing years of the 19th Century a fresh and startling spin on the convention of the memento mori (or ‘remember you will die’) in art history, which typically took the form of a skull inserted somewhere in a painting to remind viewers of their mortality. Seen from a 21st Century perspective, the inherent preachiness of the drawing (which visually puns on the scriptural admonishment “Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity”) seems more than a little misogynistic in its emphasis on feminine narcissism as the chief locus of damnable frivolity and vice. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
Drawing Hands (1948) by MC Escher
Used effectively, an optical illusion momentarily forces the observer to rethink the relationship between the real world that he or she inhabits and the one depicted in the work. No one understood the penetrative power of illusion better than the Dutch graphic artist MC Escher. In his mesmerisingly meta Drawing Hands (1948), Escher magics from the work’s sketchy surface a closed-circuitry of the-hand-creating-the-hand-creating which appear to defy the limitations of two-dimensional drawing. Obsessed with the mathematics of repeating patterns, Escher’s work was admired by leading contemporary physicists and philosophers. In Drawing Hands, the graphite point of the mirroring pencil appears to be the teensy conduit through which the artist’s existence simultaneously flows into being and dissolves into nothingness. Caught in Escher’s endless rotation, the viewer’s eye is left to run circles around itself. (Credit: public domain)
Galatea of the Spheres (1952) by Salvador Dalí
At first glance, the dynamic painting appears to capture the outward propulsion, towards the viewer, of countless colourful atoms – as if suspending in mid-blast a nuclear explosion occurring over a watery expanse. Zoom out, and the seemingly lawless rush of spheres cohere loosely into the coy countenance of a woman’s bust, her head tilted gently in a manner that recalls countless Renaissance madonnas. Spanish surrealist Salvador Dalí’s Galatea of the Spheres was undertaken at a moment of intense global anxiety at the prospect of nuclear armageddon and reveals Dalí’s own accelerating preoccupation with atomic theory in the years following the US nuclear attacks on Japan in 1945. The artist’s wife, Gala Dalí, inspired the endlessly decomposing and composing portrait. By embellishing Gala’s name into an echo of the mythological sea-nymph Galatea of Ovid’s Metamorphoses, Dalí has constructed an elastic work that simultaneously pulls together themes of antiquity and particle physics and blows them to smithereens. (Credit: Archivart/Alamy Stock Photo)
Rotorelief discs (1923-35) by Marcel Duchamp
Not every optical illusion in the history of art is remembered with fondness. One of the most hypnotic, if popularly dismissed, attempts to transfix the observer’s eye was created by the pioneering French artist Marcel Duchamp, whose famous sideways urinal Fountain (1917) caused a far bigger splash. Comprised simply of cardboard discs onto which the artist painted psychedelic spirals, the kinetic works spin into action when placed, like vinyl records, onto a rotating gramophone-like gizmo. However forcefully Duchamp’s Rotoreliefs might have pulled the viewer���s gaze into their stupefying whirl, the Dadaist’s plan to make the discs a commercial success by selling hundreds of sets was a dizzying disaster. Largely forgotten by anthologists of 20th-Century art, the Rotorelief’s ambition to create a vertiginous experience for the observer by creating an eerily irresistible sensation of 3D depth on an abstract surface would not be resuscitated for another generation. (Credit: public domain)
Cataract 3 (1967) by Bridget Riley
If Géricault’s Raft of the Medusa has the power to make observers nauseated in the face of so much heartbreaking inhumanity, British artist Bridget Riley’s Cataract 3 has the power to make viewers woozy just by opening their eyes. A deceptively simple work, consisting of wave upon wave of seasick-inducing lines, the hallucinatory canvas messes with one’s equilibrium. A key player in the so-called Op Art (a contraction of ‘Optical Art’) movement that emerged in the 1960s, Riley was fascinated from an early age with the optical techniques of Seurat and the pointillists – image theories that suggest a work’s effect is finally completed in the mind of the viewer. Where pointillists relied on the viewer’s mind to mix a blizzard of individual dots into colour and form, Riley seized instead upon the emotive power of minimalist geometric shape and black-and-white forms. The result is works of disorientating elegance that wrinkle the mind. (Credit: Bertrand Guay/AFP/Getty Images)
Sweeping it Under the Carpet (2006) by Banksy
Since the early 1990s, the British graffiti artist Banksy has sought to lift the veil on social hypocrisies. In his famous mural Sweeping it Under the Carpet, discovered in Chalk Farm, London, a hotel maid looks around sheepishly as she surreptitiously discards a dustpan-full of sweepings. But rather than lifting a carpet, she raises instead what appears to be the membrane separating the realm of urban art (in which she exists) from the real world that sprawls behind it. Though some recent forensic investigations into Banksy’s real-world identity have sought to unmask the camera-shy street artist, he has largely remained out of public view. Hidden under a hoodie of anonymising darkness, Banksy would rather be the wizard who manipulates our vision from behind the curtain. (Credit: Jim Dyson/Getty Images)
Posted in Art, Artist, Optical Illusion, Uncategorized, Weird
Tagged Art, Illusion, Optical Illusion, Photography
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