“Moo” the KarameaWonderDog Royally Recognised for Mountaineering Feat
Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
Please standby! Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is ready to make an auspicious announcement from Buckingham Palace.
Pheeleep : Auspicious Liz??
Queen Liz : Shhhhh Petal! Ahhem!! To all my loyal subjects Prince Pheeleep and I are pleased to announce that one of her Majesty’s loyal subjects Supermoo magnificently aided by his tenacious Sherpa Cockman has this very day conquered Mt. Stormy, Arapito, West Coast, South Island, New Zealand….”
Pheeleep : “ Oh! What O Liz!!!”
Queen Liz “ Quiet Buttercup!!! I haven’t finished yet!”
“And they approach the third jump The Tiger and Lord Melchford takes it dutifully in his stride followed by Sunderland Castle and…
Queen Liz : “ Pheeleep!!! Really!!! Turn that off!! I am live on air to the world!!”
Pheeleep “ But… but… it’s the fifth at Cheltenham and I’ve got a pony on Lady Godiva”
Queen Liz : “Ahem. Pardon me!” Smack!!!
Pheeleep : “Ouch!! You bitch!!”
Queen Liz : “Where was I? Yes. Indeed, Woofus and Wodger the Woyal Corgis also offer their felicitations. Prince Pheeleep and I are also pleased to announce a knighthood and life peerage for Super Moo the Karamea Wonder Dog. Arf arf!
Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
Wodger
Liz and Wodger the Woyal Corgie
SuperMoo
Sherpa CockMan: Training for the ascent of Mt Stormy
Vois a cela! Qu’est ce que c’est que ca? C’est un objet d’art de Shota au Kristin au Platt au Mademoiselle Chocolat!!! Des photographes de Paul, de Norma et Monsieur Le Coq!
Rongo is extremely privileged to have an art collection that Le Louvre would be proud of. Behold a series of works by Dave Besseling that explore the artistic symmetry of planetary mandelas which display a silent holistic dichotomy of rhetorical rambunctious obfuscated egalitarianism and esoteric infinitesimalism interwoven with an organically inspired holographic spiritual solitude … what .. time for my .. medication .. g.u.l.p.. “Zzztttttt!!!!” …..yeah mate bewdy, what ya reckon cobba? yeah bloody oath! giz anuva can of Foster’s sport! Jeez Bruce, the more I drink the better this art gets!!
Yeah, well you got ya Norma Burrowes, ya bloody mates like Ponzi, Adrian, Platt, Le Marron?, strewth what did he have for breakfast?? Sheilas like Jill baby, Victoria, Mimi humba bumba!!!, Debbie van der Boom, good old team Sweden, hic!, Marie and Anna, Kate, Sarah, Medveyer, Priska, hic! Julia, Lena, Katie, Mitsato, Daisy… Daisy from Columbia!! yeah mate lots of babes contributed, some hot mommas too Oowoooo!!!!
Then of course one must examine the superlative potpourri of art on the ceilings, doors, cupboards and walls of Rongo that could adorn the Cistine Chapel in the Vatican alongside Michael Angelo and be equally as mysterious and equally as soulfully spellbinding. The intrinsic and altruistic sublimation exuded from the very pores of these living breathing….. Pon my word, my medication is wearing off!! Make haste Falstaff!
Karamea’s fallen soldiers were honoured on Anzac day by the placing of wreaths outside Karamea School. Relatives of Karamea’s Fallen Soldiers and Returned Servicemen also placed many RSA poppies.
The Mayor and the Buller District Council, the Market Cross Community Group and the Karamea Returned Servicemen’s Association laid wreaths.
World War IHonour Roll of the Fallen Soldiers :C. Abbott, K. Douglas, B. Foster, C. Issell, J. Jenkins, T. Jenkins, A. Kidd, C. Lucas, W. Lineham, J. Neilson, V. Neilson, E. Simms, J. Steel, W. Jeffries
World War IIHonour Roll of Fallen Soldiers : W. Jefferies, H.A. Manson, R.L. Scarlett, T.R. Scarlett
For The Fallen
…………….
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning We will remember them.
……………
Robert Laurence Binyon 1869 -1943, who celebrated his 70th anniversary on 10 August 1939, says: “I can’t recall the exact date beyond that it was shortly after the retreat. I was set down, out of doors, on a cliff in Polzeath, Cornwall. The stanza “They Shall Grow Not Old” was written first and dictated the rhythmical movement of the whole poem.”
Karamea’s vinegar and scrape brigade and indeed fortunate to have the indomitable Dave“Cheese Scone” Roberts on call to for elderly visitations.
Monday 9 am
Dave “Orright then Fred?”
Fred “Ah!! Wots that??””
Dave “Wozzup you deaf old beggar?”
Fred “ Ah .. I .. ohh ..aah!”
Dave “Right let’s go to work! Attention!! About Face!! By the left quick march, right turn left wheel!! Ok Vacuum cleaning, dishes, clean the windows, do the laundry!!”
Fred “How come I do all the work and you sit in my easi chair and eat all my marshmallow toffees??”
Dave “Got any cheese scones??”
Fred “Why I do I have to do all the jobs??”
Dave “ Right! That’s it!! Give me 20 pressups. I mean Now!!! And don’t forget to clean my car!!”
Fred “ Bastard!!”
Dave “ B.. o…. o … t ..!!”
Fred “ Ow!!b What was that for??”
Dave “ Not sure!!”
Fred “ Don’t eat all my …”
Dave “ Sccrruummpphhh!! Burp!!”
Fred “Can I stop for a cup of tea?”
Dave “Cup ‘a’ tea??? Cup ‘a’ tea?? Are you mad?? We didn’t beat the Hun by having cups of tea!! Work!!! Sccrruummpphhh!!”
Fred “ I’m 93 and I need a walker and you’re working me like a slave!!”
Dave “Right ‘Nother 20 pressups!! Now!!!
Dave “ C’mon Fred 1…. 2…. Fred!! You’re turning purple!! Cripes!! C’mon Fred push through the pain barrier!! It will be worth it in the long run!! C’mon Fred 3!! .. c’mon 4!! Fred???
Orright Fred?? Fred??!! Your face looks like a sunburnt beetroot. Fred??!!
Fred” a…h …..a h ….o …h.. a a ……….”
Dave “Fred!!! Oh my God!!! Ok don’t panic!! Emergency 111
111 “Address, Emergency and name please!”
Dave “Help!! Emergency!! Help!! Ai Caramba!!”
111 “Ok slow down deep breath!! Now tell me your emergency!!
Dave “ Well …. Well … I’ve got a chronic…… case of …… indigestion!!””
111 “Is that you Dave??”
Dave “ Well yeah!”
111 “ According to the computer you are at Fred’s!! Is he alright??”
Dave “He’s run out of gingernuts!!”
111 “ Dave!! Is Fred still alive??”
Dave” Well … sort of..!!”
111 “Dave!! For God’s sake that is the third elderly person this week you have knocked off!!”
Dave “My record’s four!!”
111 “Ok!! Dave you need to prepare a report!!”
Dave “ Where am I going wrong??”
111 “Did Fred clean your car before he gave up the ghost??
Dave” Yeah he did!”
111 “Well Dave! Pat yourself on the back then!!”
Dave “ What am I going to do with his cat Fluffy?”
111 “Mmmm right we can’t leave any witnesses” Drink some of Fred’s whisky for Dutch courage and then give his moggy 30 minutes on medium high in the microwave!”
Dave “S ..l..u..r..pp!! S..luurrpp!! Sss ll..u..rrr.ppp!!!S .L..U..R..PPPP!!!”
111 “Dave!! I meant a snifter!!”
Dave “S llllll u rrr pppp!!!!
111 “ Dave?? What are you doing?? “
Dave “Heez shgot a shbotttle of Shgordons Shgin too!!”
111 “ Dave!! The police will be there in 5 minutes I’ve alerted the Karamea Police!!
Dave “havshtnDt nookked Flooffy shyet!!”
Police “This is the Police!! Hang ten or we shoot to kill!!”
“Hissssss!!!!!!”
Police “ Kaboom!! Kaboom!! Kaboom!!!”
Fluffy “Scwrooowlll!!”
Dave “ Shdear Gawd!! Shank heavensshoo shgot her ejoost in time to save me from Fluffy. He killed Shfred!!”
Karamea Police “ Police Control from Karamea Police”
Police Control “Go ahead Karamea Police!”
Karamea Police “Yeah Roger Control!! Shot and fatally wounded the offender and rescued Dave again and there are still two cheese scones left!!
Defenestration could be considered the Eastern European version of witch burning, which was more popular in Western Europe. Suspects were tossed out a window…if they survived the fall (or more the sudden stop at the end of the fall), they were free to go, however, if they died, they were considered to be guilty as charged.The practice gained popularity as an equitable trial system and was soon practiced in France, Belguim, Portugal, Spain, Italy and in Poland, Russian troops defenestrated Chopin’s piano…(in brutal, definite and dramatic forms of musical criticism, no one can shade the Russians!).
Apparently, some of the more determined peasants actually bounced on the ground below and survived their defenestration trials, which led to the authorities upping the ante as the crime rate started to drop and the aristocratic rulers (such as “Václav the Mad“ a Czech ruler, an enthusiastic sadist and prolific defenestrator, who once “accidentally” shot a monk while hunting) couldn’t continue to justify the practice of throwing innocent people out of windows…so taller castles were built on craggy rock outcrops for the purpose of defenestration, which inevitably led to an increase in the conviction rate. Many a righteous serf had their innocence dashed on the cobblestones and jagged rocks adjacent Prague castles after being tossed out a window to measure their guilt.
One of the leading causes of accidental death in Bohemia in the Middle Ages, was having suspected criminals land on you. Cautious Czechs often developed stiff necks and occasionally injured themselves by walking into posts as a result of looking skyward on constant guard of falling defendants.Cheerful Czechs celebrate their barbarous history with reenactments of famous defenestrations in an annual festival whereby several willing citizens are thrown to their deaths before cheering crowds of history buffs and tourists assembled to remember this dark chapter of Czech past.Defenestration, although now outlawed in favour of less Draconian justice measures like the electric chair, continues to be practiced in many countries.
In 1993, Toronto lawyer Garry Hoy fell to his death after attempting to demonstrate the strength of his office tower’s windows.
On March 2, 2007, Russianinvestigative journalistIvan Safronov, who was researching the Kremlin’s covert arms deals, fell to his death from a fifth floor window. Friends and colleagues discount suicide as a reason and an investigation was opened looking into possible “incitement to suicide”.
In 2007 in Gaza, Hamas killed a Fatah supporter by defenestration, an act repeated the next day when a Hamas supporter was defenestrated by Fatah.
Recently, in 2009, the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission held several witnesses overnight for questioning. One witness,Teoh Beng Hock, was found dead on the roof of an adjacent building. Public outrage led to the formation of a Royal Commission of Inquiry which is ongoing. And, most recently, in April 2011, a Customs officer under investigation was found dead outside an MACC office.
****NB: Here in Sunny Karamea, our crime rate is low and perpetrators are usually found to be innocent, but perhaps only as our buildings are single-story and our ground smooth and soft…and usually lawned.
Interesting facts on Defenestration from Wikipedia:
Scientific Studies: In 1942, safety pioneer Hugh DeHaven published the classic Mechanical analysis of survival in falls from heights of fifty to one hundred and fifty feet. DeHaven’s work on survival in defenestrations was instrumental in the development of the seat belt.
Self-defenestration (jumping out of a window)
Self-defenestration (autodefenestration) is the act of jumping, propelling oneself, or causing oneself to fall, out of a window. This phenomenon played a notable role in such events as the Triangle Shirtwaist fire, 9/11, and other disasters; it is also a method of suicide.
In the United States, self-defenestration is among the least common methods of committing suicide (typically less than 2% of all reported suicides in the United States for 2005).
In Hong Kong, jumping is the most common method (from any location) of committing suicide, accounting for 52.1% of all reported suicide cases in 2006, and similar rates for the years prior to that.The Centre for Suicide Research and Prevention of the University of Hong Kong believes that it may be due to the abundance of easily accessible high-rise buildings in Hong Kong (implying that much of the jumping is out of windows or from roof tops).
Heaphy Track MTBs Irk IRD
DOC brands one-day riders “tax evaders.”
By Paul Murray
Melanie Miller 1st Female Rider to Complete Heaphy Track on May 1, 2011
The Inland Revenue Department today acted on a report by the Department of Conservation that mountain bikers cycling the Heaphy Track in a single day were utilising a tax-payer funded public facility for free and thereby avoiding their civic, patriotic and national responsibility to the State, the People of Aotearoa and the Nation’s coffers.
Such selfish and unpatriotic behaviour has been deemed by DOC and the IRD as “treasonous” and have vowed to persecute perpetrators and prosecute to the full extent of the law. Mountain bikers found guilty of tax-evasion and thereby treason will be subjected to a rigorous public trial, media exposure, ridicule and denouncement by friends and family and inevitable incarceration in maximum security prisons never again to see the light of day.
Rightly so said local DOC heavyweight Dick Bobson (and VERY amateur poet) in a press release recently. “It’s user-pays these days/mountain bike riders (and other insiders)/ should take responsibility and not ride for free…do you see?”
Spokesman for the West Coast Mountain Biking Association Mr. Samson “Pedals” Elijah added weight to the assertions by the two government departments when he said, “Cycling the Heaphy Track is a privilege made possible by the sweat of tax-payers brows. To abuse the facility without paying is tantamount to lèse-majesté and perpetrators should be apprehended on arrival in Karamea, taken to the police cell, be introduced to Sergeant Windy Locks (the local hairdresser) and given a damn good short back and sides.” (Other penalties provided apparently include; Brazilian body waxing, anal bleaching, pubic electrolysis and water boarding).
West Coast MTB Association Spokesman Samson "Pedals" Elijah (Currently in prison for walking the Heaphy Track without paying hut fees)
Heaphy Track mountain biker and tax cheat Mr Bill Swindler of Golden Bay said on completing the Heaphy Track on the opening day of May 1, 2011, “I started riding and sunrise and arrived at the Kohaihai Shelter (which was built with public $pondoolie) at 2:30 p.m. and I have to say, that was the most fun I’ve ever had avoiding tax in my career as a tithe dodger…I only wish the track was a little longer so that I could get a full day’s graft in…perhaps I’ll ride a little slower on my way home and get my money’s worth.” When asked to elaborate, Mr Swindler added, “I’m a tax-payer, I’ve worked hard all my life, I believe I am entitled to use public facilities that I have helped pay build for free and without the stigma of public ridicule and slander.”
Mr Swindler’s’ comments raised the issue of the hut fees on the Heaphy Track, which are currently $30.60 per night, which does seem rather steep given the lack of electricity, hot water, linen, Sky TV, and broadband Internet, all of which are available at Rongo Backpackers & Gallery (www.rongobackpackers.com) for as little as $24 per night with the fourth night free. Mr Bobson from DOC responded with the following statement, “The huts on the Heaphy Track are to provide shelter and warmth to New Zealanders and visitors to our country who are walking or cycling through the fabulous Kahurangi National Park and the hut fees contribute to the maintenance of the huts, track and other facilities along the way to ensure the comfort, safety and enjoyment of the people…while the facilities may not be five-star, the experience most certainly is and DOC believes people will appreciate this and allow themselves to be gouged accordingly.”
Rongo Backpackers owner, and Karamea Radio disc jockey DJ Crap said, “The Heaphy Track is a five star experience and Rongo Backpackers provides cyclists and trampers with a little five-star luxury accommodation at the end of the experience…soak in a firebath, watch a movie in the in-house theatre, guest DJ on the local radio station 107.5 FM, catch up on the latest news, update FaceBook posts, tweets, blogs etc on the WiFi Internet service, enjoy a “Heaphy Conqueror’s Feast of locally grown, organic, nutritious, healthy seasonal and fresh food after a hot shower and a cold beer…all for less than the cost of a night on the Heaphy Track…and I should also mention that every 4th night at Rongo is free!” “Book ahead to avoid disappointment,” he added.
Whatever the outcome of the debate on tax-evasion, the Heaphy Track will remain open to trampers and cyclists to enjoy and it is hoped by all concerned that the three-year mountain biking trial on the Heaphy Track will prove mutually beneficial for DOC, the IRD, The General Public, Mountain Biking and Tramping Clubs, local businesses in both Golden Bay and Karamea, the fantastic flora and fauna and spectacular scenery of the Kahurangi National Park…and for the national economy. Mountain bikers who seek to ride the track in a single day and avoid their responsibility to the national coffers are asked to make a generous donation to the Department of Conservation to do their part to help make this trial a big success so that future generations of New Zealanders can continue to enjoy and ultilse such splendid public facilities as the Heaphy Track.
Labour List MP Damien O'Connor and Friends enjoy a ride to the Heaphy Hut and back on May 1, 2011, opening day of the Heaphy Track to MTBers.
(Are the honourable MP and his Friends tax cheats? DOC and the IRD think so, The Rongolian Star welcomes reader feedback on this issue)
For more information contact the Department of Conservation Perfidy Hotline on: 0800 1080 1080
Scientists/Capitalists vs Permaculturalists/Socialists
By Paul Murray
Scientists/Capitalists:
In the yin-yang duality of all things, ideological divides exist in the thinking of the future of food production. Significant challenges are ahead as the world population continues to grow exponentially toward nine billion mouths to feed three times a day. Many reports demonstrate that human demand for food and other natural resources already exceed the Earth’s ability to meet that demand by a large margin and that we are rapidly depleting the very essence of what sustains our existence.
Scientists love a good challenge and scientific thought is to utilise technology to produce more food through better plant nutrition, pesticides, plant and animal breeding and most controversially, genetic modification. They say, OK, the world population is growing, we need to provide food to feed future people with futuristic thinking…genetic modification can be shown to increase crop yields, prevent disease, exclude pests and improve shelf life of food. They argue that pursuing a scientific solution and applying GM technology today to food production to meet the needs of future generations can avoid catastrophic food shortages. To ensure availability of food to feed the population is a basic requirement of any government and in the Capitalist/Democratic society we have developed, whereby government and industry work together to achieve such targets, it is of little surprise that we now see significant political support for the application of GM technology in agriculture.
While corporations may have the ear of government, significant opposition exists among thinking people worldwide to the application of GM technology to food production and introducing genetically modified plants ands animals into the natural systems that have been sustaining us forever. Many examples exist of the corruption of natural reproduction processes, pollination etc when GM crop plants have been grown adjacent to natural crops and the reaction of the corporations advocating GM technology has been extremely aggressive toward traditional farmers whose crops have been corrupted by the natural disbursement of GM material into their crops…most famously, the litigation of farmer Percy Schmeiser in Bruno, Saskatchewan Canada pursued by Monsanto when pollen from the corporation’s “round-up ready” GM canola (trademarked as the property of Monsanto) corrupted his non-GM crop. (Read more at: Monsanto vs Farmers: http://www.i-sis.org.uk/MonsantovsFarmers.php).
There are always many solutions to a problem and the scientific approach involves the acceptance of a lower quality product if it is to be produced in sufficient quantity to meet consumer demand. Quantity over Quality is the simplest analogy…to meet the needs of the world’s stomachs, an acceptance that food quality must be compromised in order to produce sufficient amounts of food to sustain the rapidly growing world population. However, a reduction in quality also means a reduction in life quality, or the standard of living.
QUANTITY/QUALITY==>Diminished Standard of Living
However, while corporate farming can produce large amounts of low quality food, it is at great cost, much fuel is required to produce and transport food to markets, refrigeration, packaging, electricity etc, etc means the real cost of the food in terms of environmental depletion and resource consumption is left off the balance sheet.
Depletion of soil nutrition, erosion of soil, pollution of rivers, air and sea with chemical and inorganic fertiliser runoff is an environmental cost of corporate farming that is rarely considered or even mentioned in mainstream media, and the preservatives, flavour enhancers, emulsifiers, nutritive additives, processing etc, etc necessarily added to such produce to present it to the consumer results in a product that is unnatural, not satisfactory for the maintenance of human health and well being and leads to other problems that we are seeing increasingly in Western industrialised nations; obesity, diabetes, cancer etc, etc. Ahhhh…but scientists and corporations have the answer to that as well…develop pharmaceutical solutions, better drugs to counteract the diseases and ailments that result from poor diet…”HURRAH!” they all say because such product development creates demand for new products, new services and funds new research and development…a perfect Capitalistic cycle…supply rises to meet demand and demand drives supply…economics 101.
Permaculturalists/Socialists:
Permaculturalists take a contrary position on the subject of food production and indeed to the utilisation of the Earth’s finite resources. Observation and the subsequent determination of the potential of natural systems to produce an abundance of food in a way that is perpetual is what permaculture is all about. The focus is on sustainable food production, minimal energy use, maintenance of soil, water and air, utilisation of natural energy systems; wind, water and sun, consuming less food of greater quality, eradicating waste, recycling nutrients, reusing, replenishing, restoring, replanting, rejuvenating etc, etc.
Permaculture champion and radical comedian Bill Mollison advocates cannibalism as a solution to world hunger…he also suggests that all religious devotees and ineffective corporate aid workers be composted, which would certainly provide a large amount of fertiliser for food production and while Mr. Mollison is a rascal, in many ways his humorous postulations may in fact be prophecy, for hungry people will resort to drastic measures to meet their belly pangs. A significant reduction in world population is one solution to reducing the demand on world resources to a sustainable level, but that seems unlikely given the nature of humans, religion…go forth and propagate…and the Capitalist system, which feeds on demand. Mr. Mollison will be proven correct in the event of environmental degradation and a significant hunger situation; man will eat his fellow man in order to survive. Such a dystopian future may be inevitable unless the challenge of food production and resource consumption is resolved.
Permaculture solutions involve producing food in situ for local consumers, meeting the food needs of the local population, but also addresses other requirements such as housing, social structures, community development, skill sharing etc, etc. Put simply, permaculture emphasises quality over quantity, more nutritious, organic, enzymatically rich, fresh food, smaller, warmer homes, cooperative communities, efficient supply systems, minimal waste, environmentally responsible living…sustainability.
QUALITY/QUANTITY==>Heightened Standard of Living
New Zealand could be the Norway of the South Pacific:
With our small population, availability of natural resources, fertile agricultural land, good climate, rainfall etc, GodZone should have the world’s highest quality of life/standard of living. Life in New Zealand should be the envy of the world, we should have the best quality food, cleanest water, freshest air, healthiest people, happiest communities plenty of energy, and beautifully balanced, diverse and vibrant environment. Our oceans should have an abundance of fish, our forests dense and our flora and fauna diverse, rivers free flowing and abundant with aquatic life…Kiwi’s should have plentiful, top quality food at low price and instead of sacrificing what we have to grow top quality primary agricultural produce that is exported to distant markets in return for bottom dollar prices, let’s keep the best here and invite people to come and visit to savour the best in the world. Kiwi’s should demand quality over quantity instead of selling out future for a pittance and in the process, improve out standard of living to a level that is the envy of the world…because Kiwi’s deserve the very best! Whatever lies ahead, be it organic utopia or chemical dystopia, I hope both sides remember that in any yin-yang situation there is a little of one side in the other…common ground is the starting point for resolution and in this debate, the common ground is that there is a need to feed.
(Paul Murray has a Bachelor of Agricultural Science degree and a Permaculture Design Certificate. If he’d known about permaculture before he’d gone to university, he wouldn’t have bothered with the science degree, which was in fact a business course designed to teach students how to maximise profit from a given area of land. Permaculture teaches how to maximise food production from a given area of land forever…which he considers to be a better approach).
Kristin Mukrit
Message in a Bottle
Human dynamo and Rongo Artist in Residence for February/March Kristin Mukrit from Al Capones home town Chicago, Illinois injected Rongo with some art nouveau that really wowed many people!
The Rongo Peace Garden has seen the installation of the Message In A Bottle sculpture which involves Rongo guests inscribing personal messages on specially charrred paper for authenticity, which will be sealed in the bottles. These messages will be sealed until the first full moon after Judgement Day.
Kristin had to go into overdrive to consume sufficient bottles of wine to make up any shortfall for the project and indeed was so motivated by this she started on the bottle collection for the next installation next year straight away. The Message in a Bottle project was completed. While in Chicago Kritsin will work hard to consume at leat three bottles of wine per day to set a solid foundation for the next project. Message in a Jeroboam! Salut! Prost! Skol!
Kristin’s first installation is a profile of her as a little girl and incidentally the spitting image of my daughter Shannon when she was 8 years of age. Proceeding from the little girls mouth is a speech bubble in a rainbow trail of stamps from New Zealand and around the world.
The New Zealand stamps in particular are a living history of the development of New Zealand as a nation!
Anzac stamps from Post WWI, Health stamps from the 1930’s, sport stamps from the 60’s, Air Mail stamps from the 1930’s depiciting the biplanes that serviced New Zealand’s airmail postal routes Many of our geriatric age visitors were enthralled by this installation with many saying the stamps of yesteryear brought back siginifcant memories! An instant cure for Alzheimers!
Kristin Mikrut 2011 Rongo Resident Artist
Button Up!
Anybody who walked thru the doors at Rongo was requested (nicely, but usually bribed with a spider!) to donate one button to the collection as well e-mail address. In exchange Kristin personally sewed on many buttons on peoples clothing as part of her rehab programme! Kristin had to go into overdrive to consume sufficient bottles of wine to make up any shortfall and indeed was so motivated by this she started on the bottle collection for the next installation next year straight away. The Message in a Bottle project was completed. While in Chicago Kritsin will work hard to consume at leat three bottles of wine per day to set a solid foundation for the next project. Message in a Jeroboam!
Poetry Alive
Sunday nights at Rongo have now become a night of flamenco passion, poetry, song, dance personal cogitations!
Poetry Alive was a concept for Radio Karamea that motivated people to get involved. Svenja singing Buffalo Jim, Kristin with her angelic singing voice rapping to the rhythm!!
Yannick, Bilbo Baggens Bazooka, Myrthe, Claire et Mimi all contributed to some spectacular , informative, culturally sensitive and righteously exciting entertainment!
Bericht eines WWOOFERS (article of a WWOOFER )
By Max Fuchs
Die Rongo Crew hat mich gebeten einen kleinen und hoffentlich feinen Artikel zu schreiben. Ueber mich meine Vergangenheit und natuerlich Rongo.
Ich bin Max und komme aus Berlin. Ich hab die letzten 6 Monate mit Reisen verbracht und bin dabei fuer 3,5 Monate nach Indien und nach einem kleinen Zwischenstopp in Malaysia weiter fuer nochmals 3,5 Monate nach Neuseeland.
Angefangen hat meine “Weltreiseidee” eigentlich schon sehr freuh, als meine grosse Schwester mir von ihren weltenbummler Erfahrungen berichtete. Also war klar, nach dem Abi, dass ich mehr schlecht als recht uberlebt hab, gehts weg, weit weg. Ich wollte schon immer nach Neuseeland, aber dachte dass das alleine vlt. etwas langweilig werden koennte, also beschloss ich, irgendwie muss noch was Spirituelles mit rein und schwups war die Idee von Indien aufm Plan. Nicht nur dass es etwas ganz Anderes als Neuseeland werden wuerde, sondern auch noch genau auf der Flugroute Richtung NZ liegt.
Im Flieger, kurz vorm Anflug auf Delhi, wurde mir dann das erste Mal bewusst, dass das vlt. nicht nur Zuckerschlecken wird. Genau dass hat sich dann auch am Flughafen von Delhi bestaetigt, als man mich so ziemlich bei der ersten Gelegenheit erstmal um nen paar Euros gebracht hatt( klingt wenig ist in Indien aber ne ganze Menge). Dann gings los in die wohl turbolenteste Stadt die ich in meinem Leben bisher gesehen hatte und womoeglich sehen werde. Alles war irgendwie anders, lebendiger, schmutziger und ich hab mich gefragt wie das alles funktionieren kann. Spaeter als ich laengst aus Delhi gefluechtet bin und meinen Weg ueber Nordindien und Rajastahn nach Calcutta gemacht hatte, wurde mir klar, dass es fuer die Inder ganz normal ist. Ich muss offen gestehen dass ich doch immer wieder mit der Kultur und den Sitten der Indischen Bevoelkerung angeeckt bin und am Ende doch etwas froh war, nach dreieinhalb Monaten interessanten Reisens in Indien, weiter in westlichere Kulturen zu fliegen.
Nach kurzem Aufenthalt in Malaisia , einem Land das irgendwie zwischen arm und reich steht, und in dem ich das erste Mal mit einem richtigen Monsungewitter konfrontiert wurde, gings weiter nach Auckland. Dort hat mich mein erster Couchsurferhost Janson herzlich willkommen gehiessen. Nach einigen Tagen machte ich mich auf meine ersten hitchhikeerfahrungen zu sammeln und diese sollten einige werden in den naechsten zwei Monaten. Doch nach ca. 6 Monaten traveln und davon 2 in Neuseeland wurde mir bewusst, dass ich keine Lust mehr hatte auf staendiges Rumgerase von einem Ort zum naechsten und ich hielt Ausschau nach einem wwoofing Platz. Dieser bot sich dann im Rongo, dem Platz an dem ich eigentlich nur 1 Nacht bleiben wollte aber gemerkt habe, dass hier irgedetwas besonders ist, und es sich lohnt laenger zu bleiben.
Also findg ich an zu arbeiten, wobei ich zugeben muss, dass meine Einstellung gegenueber Arbeit nicht immer Deckungsgleich mit der von Paul oder anderen Woofern war. Aber genau dieser Umstand hat mir viel zu denken gegeben und ich glaube dass ich genau in diesem Punkt das Meiste mitnehmen werde. Andererseits konnte ich hier wunderbar meine Batterien wieder aufladen und hab unmengen interessanter, netter und manchmal auch komischer Leute getroffen, kurzum ein Platz an dem sich viele Bunte Menschen zusammenfinden. Nach einem Monat mit viel Spass werd ich mich langsam trennen von diesem magischen Platz und dann geht es auch bald weiter nach Hongkong und zurueck nach Hause. Ich hoffe mein Artikel laesst traveller die schon wieder zu hause sind, etwas in Gedanken schwelgen und gibt denen einen Vorgeschnmack, die bald unterwegs sind.
1000 Cranes
Mimi "Bubbles" Bordes
Recycling New Zealand’s Womens Weeklys that no-one wanted to read in the first place meant that Rongo was desperately short of weed mulch and ground cover = Platyhelminthe BSC Hons.
The idea for installing 1000 cranes is now a Japanese tradition.
A thousand paper cranes are traditionally given as a wedding gift by the folder, who is wishing a thousand years of happiness and prosperity upon the couple. They can also be gifted to a new baby for long life and good luck. Hanging a Senbazuru in one’s home is thought to be a powerfully lucky and benevolent charm.
Sets of origami paper are sold widely in Japan, with Senbazuru sets including 1000 (or more, in case of mistakes) sheets of paper, string, and beads to place at the end of each string to prevent the cranes slipping off.[1] Commonly the cranes are assembled as 25 strings of 40 cranes each.[1] The size of the origami paper does not matter when assembling a thousand paper cranes, but smaller sheets consequently yield smaller and lighter strings of cranes. The most popular size for Senbazuru cranes is 75 by 75 millimetres (3.0 × 3.0 in). Some people cut their own squares of paper from anything available, such as magazines.
Origami paper used for Senbazuru is usually of a solid color, though printed designs are also available. Larger size origami paper, usually 6×6 inches, often has traditional Japanese or flower designs, reminiscent of kimono patterns.
The Thousand Origami Cranes has become a symbol of world peace[citation needed] through the story of Sadako Sasaki, a Japanese girl who tried to stave off her death from leukemia as a result of radiation from the atomic bombing of Hiroshima during World War II by making one thousand origami cranes, having folded only 644 before her death, and that her friends completed and buried them all with her. (This is only one version of the story. Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum states that she did, in fact, complete the 1,000 cranes.)
Her story is told in the book Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes. Several temples, including some in Tokyo and Hiroshima, have eternal flames for World Peace. At these temples, school groups or individuals often donate Senbazuru to add to the prayer for peace. The cranes are left exposed to the elements, slowly dissolving and becoming tattered as the wish is released. In this way they are related to the prayer flags of India and Tibet.
In Western countries, the custom has been extended from giving a senbazuru to cancer patients, to using them at funerals or on the grave.
Ultimate Frisbee Comes To Rongo
By Zoe Elkin
Where I come from, the small collage town of Amherst Massachusetts USA, Ultimate Frisbee is no joking matter. It is no casual tossing of the Frisbee on the beach or in the park, but the type with a set field, rules, teams, and final score. The e town boasts of being one of the best Ultimate Frisbee programs in the country, and my former high school team ranks second in the nation. We joke that kids learn to walk, and then how to properly grip a Frisbee.
Every spring and summer, it is not uncommon for there to be games held almost every night of the week for all ages and abilities. It is a big deal to be a player. Under the football lights, crowds of hundreds gather to watch as incredibly fit athletes battle their rivals from across the nation. It is not just in my hometown that this sport has taken by the neck, it is growing to be an international phenomenon. I found this to be true while traveling in Central America. One the outskirts of Antigua Guatemala, believe it or not, there is a Sunday Ultimate Frisbee club. Across America, it has emerged as a popular sport in universities. Every year hundreds of new teams emerge on the scene, proof enough that this sport is really taking off.
Last Sunday, nine Rongolians, guests and locals alike met at the park to learn this crazy new type of Frisbee. We started with some basic throwing of the disk and then moved on to explain the rules of the game. There are no referees in Ultimate Frisbee. One might ask, how can this be? It is the responsibility of the players on the field to call the shots. Every single player is held at high regard and is expected to play hard and play fair. The Spirit of the Game is what it is called.
At tournament the most honored award is that of the Spirit of the Game, which goes to the team (awarded by the votes from the other competing teams) who plays hard, makes smart and honest calls, and embodies what it means to be a great competitor. The playing field is roughly the size of a soccer field and there are fourteen people on the field at once, seven on a side. In order to score you must catch the Frisbee (also referred to as the disc) in your end zone. There are two end zones for each team located at each end of the field. You cannot run with the disc so it must be passed to a teammate in order to move the disc down the field into the end zone. If the disc is dropped it is a turnover, and is now in the other teams possession. On defense, you must guard someone on offense in order to prevent the pass from being thrown to them.
There are many types of offenses and defenses, but we stuck to the most basic, man on man (or woman on woman). Ultimate Frisbee is a non-contact sport, and involves as much running (or more) than a game of soccer. All you need to play is a good disc, a field, and most importantly, a group of people who want to learn. It’s no wonder it is so quickly spreading! Everyone who came picked it up quickly and it was all great fun. Max, a wwoofer here at Rongo, after the game said, “That was actually awesome! I had no idea Frisbee could be so intense and fun.” I think he speaks for everyone who gave it a try that cloudy Sunday afternoon, Ultimate Frisbee is great fun.
(For more information on the sport, and what’s going on in the Ultimate Frisbee world go to: WWW.UPA.ORG)
Mountain Biking
Recalcitrant MTBer Matt Ridgeway
As of May 1st 2011 The Department of Conservation Is opening up the Heaphy Track to Mountian Bikers. A good 2-3 day ride would enable any fit healthy mountain biker to stay at the Heaphy Hut, Mckay Hut, Perry Saddle Hut and enjoy the spectacular on the track.
Swimming and fishing at Heaphy Hut, Lewis Hut and Brown Hut. Sensational photography at McKay Hut and the Giant Spotted Kiwi at the Gouland Downs Hut.
Essential to jump in the mountain spa at the Perry Saddle Hut!! This invigorating alpine stream spa maintains a comfortable bathing temperature all year round!!
Rongo is intsalling a 10 bay bike stand and will be equipped with a bike repair box with the necessary tools you may need to maintain your bike!
The ideal would be take a tent and camp out where permissable and enjoy the stars and the teeming melodious birdlife!!
MTB the Heaphy Track from May 1 to September 30
The Heaphy Track, one of New Zealand’s “Great Walks” is now open to mountain bikers from May 1 to September 30 for a three-year trial period staring in 2011 and is set to also become a Great Ride for people of all ages.
The Heaphy Track offers the only multi-day cycle course through a national park in New Zealand. The track is 82 kilometres long and traverses the Kahurangi National Park from Collingwood in the north of the South Island to Karamea on the West Coast.
The track is well-formed all-weather track and has seven well-appointed Department of Conservation huts along the way. The huts are warm, dry and comfortable with bunk beds, wood-fired heaters, rainwater tanks, toilets and five have gas-cooking facilities. All rivers and major streams along the track have suspension bridges, but there may be some small creeks and watercourses that will require fording, please take care when crossing the bridges and water crossings. It is necessary to book huts, to do so, please visit the DOC Heaphy Track Web site (www.doc.govt.nz) or regional i-Sites or visitor centres.
Along the way, riders and trampers pass through a diverse range of spectacular scenery from lush beech forest up to 950 metres to Perry Saddle Hut, through the expansive tussock plains of the Gouland Downs and down again along the Heaphy River and on to the stunning nikau palm groves where the West Coast meets the roaring Tasman Sea.
Riders should be well prepared for inclement weather conditions as the region is known for sudden storms, associated floods, occasional snow falls and strong winds, as well as for sunshine, clear blue skies and warm, calm days. Please carry wet weather gear and warm clothing as well as sun protection, first-aid kits, plenty of water, food supplies as well as spare parts, puncture repair kits etc. Be prepared for all eventualities, as it is a long way from the middle of the track if help is required and it is important that riders take responsibility for their own safety and wellbeing.
Most trampers travel from the Collingwood end and finish the track in Karamea and riders will likely do the same, but there is no rule as to which way the track is travelled. Several transport services can deliver riders to the beginning of the track from Collingwood and then from the Kohaihai Shelter at the end of the track to Karamea where a hot showers, cold beer, great food and a comfortable beds await riders and trampers alike after conquering the Heaphy.
The Heaphy Track will be a dual-use facility open to both mountain bikers and trampers during the winter months, so please respect the rights of each group to utilise the track and enjoy the facilities, experience and adventure. Please refer to the Mountain Bikers Code below:
***Mountain Biking Article Published in The Press in May 2009***
Mountain Biking in the Kahurangi National Park
Debate is raging in the Northern Buller about whether to allow mountain biking in the Kahurangi National Park and Oparara Basin.
By Paul Murray
West Coast tourism operators from Karamea to Haast are seeking ways of increasing visitor numbers to their respective regions by improving the service and facilities they offer and by creating activities for people to enjoy while they are on the Coast. In Karamea, debate is raging over whether to allow mountain bikers to ride the new Fenian/Oparara Loop Track…Karamea tourism operators are saying “yes please,” while the Oparara Valley Trust, which built the track, is saying “no.”
Mountain biking is a low impact sport that is attracting increasing numbers of people from all age groups.A sport that keeps them fit, relieves stress and satisfies their need for adventure and physical exertion.For many it’s an ideal family activity.It is also highly suited to people with injuries, damaged joints and knees, arthritis and many other medical conditions that make it difficult for them to participate in other outdoor activities.
Mountain biking is also becoming increasingly integral to the growth of adventure and eco-tourism with tourism having changed significantly over the past 20 years.
Take backpacking, for example.It used to be about…well, backpacking.Backpackers arrived on a quest for adventure and experience with a basic kit, an edition of Lonely Planet, and a few dollars for essential items.
They hitchhiked, took public transport, or walked to their next destination.Today’s, “backpackers” communicate through networking sites like facebook, twitter, bebo and many have their own blogs.They still hitchhike, walk or use public transport.But increasing numbers arrive in rental cars with laptops, fishing rods, chilly bins, i-Pods, cell phones, suitcases…and mountain bikes.They are the sons and daughters of the most affluent people in the world; well educated and financially flush with a strong interest in adventure sports and eco-tourism.Perhaps the only similarity this generation of young traveller has to the last is the quest for adventure and experience.
For many of this new generation of“backpackers,” mountain biking is the new tramping and biking bush tracks is an integral part of their adventure tourism experience.
New Zealand is a fabulous eco-tourism destination and large numbers of tourists have a strong interest in ecological issues such as carbon emissions and carbon miles, which is a looming threat to the tourism industry).Mountain biking is an excellent example of how we can provide activities for travellers that address these interests and concerns.
Mountain biking does not involve the use of fossil fuels, helps offset carbon miles and can contribute to the New Zealand Government’s publicly announced goal of being the first carbon-neutral country in the world.It can do all of this while offeringrewarding, fun, active and adventurous pursuits that enable overseas visitors, domestic tourists, and locals, to experience the natural wonders of our stunning landscapes and national parks.
So, what should we be doing?Clearly, discouraging mountain biking on bush tracks is counterproductive to development of the tourism on the Coast and here in Karamea.
Tourism operators and the industry in general, in concert with key stakeholders such as the Department of Conservation and bodies such as the Oparara Valley Trust need to develop and implement programs that open up even more of our unique bush tracks to mountain bikers.Disparaging and over-restricting these types of activities simply demonstrates an inability to respond flexibly to a changing world and the changing needs of our tourists and local communities.
On a more parochial note, at the local level here in Karamea it would be extremely helpful if the Oparara Valley Trust reconsidered its position on the Fenian/Oparara Valley Trust track and any other tracks under its control that it considers unsuitable for mountain biking.
Tracks such as the Fenian/Oparara Valley Trust track are wonderful facilities for which the members of the Trust are rightly given much credit.The tracks have fabulous potential for providing mountain bikers with genuine, low carbon emission, challenging, adventurous and fun activities.Opening up the Fenian//Oparara Valley Trust track to mountain biking would be a great help to Karamea tourism operators, shop owners, hotels, restaurants and accommodation providers and a boon for the local economy.
If as the Trust claims, the Fenian/Oparara Valley Trust Track is unsuitable for mountain biking, I’m sure this was simply an oversight by the Trust during the initial planning stages.One that I am sure can be rectified if there is goodwill on the part of all of the stakeholders involved for the good of Karamea and the West Coast tourism industry.
(Paul Murray owns and operates Rongo Backpackers and Karamea Farm Baches in Karamea, is on the Tai Poutini Eco-Tourism Programme Advisory Committee and is a keen mountain biker).
Mountain Biking the Fenian/Oparara Loop Track
***Letter to the Editor Published in the Westport News in May 2009 by Michael Reeves***
DJ Reevso
To the Editor.
The recent discussions concerning mountain biking in the Karamea area are
interesting. I would like to add a mountain bikers perspective to the debate.
Let’s start with K Road. Last year it was reviewed in one of NZ’s leading
MTB magazines as being the worst MTB track in NZ. The reason, it is just a
bunch of old logging roads with no single track. I have
ridden there and would agree, nice scenery but who ever set this area
aside has obviously never ridden a mountain bike.
I have however visited the new Fenian track, currently specified as a
walking track. Looking at it through a mountain biker’s eyes it
has great potential. I understand why walkers do not want to be run over
by a fast moving mountain bike, however walkers and bikers can coexist
and do so. Take the Port Hills near Christchurch which has shared as
well as specific tacks for riders and walkers. I would suggest some
modifications to the steeper downhill bits to avoid heavy braking
which may lead to rutting of the track, and perhaps some alternative MTB and walking
sections in the narrower sections of the track. Alternatively give bikers
access between peak walking periods, even impose a fee to contribute to
track maintenance, but don’t for the sake of Karamea’s local economy
shun this source of income. Come on guys think outside of the square!
NZ is one of the best places in the world to ride mountain bikes, and
Karamea is at the top of the pile given the area’s scenery, climate
and topography, but ironically the area does not promote the activity,
in fact the local authorities seem to actively discourage it. The
typical rider has never been a crazed yahoo hell bent on tearing up
the native bush, but a person with an active life style, has money to
spend and wants to experience the thrill of riding through NZ’s
beautiful bush. It is a low impact, quiet sport. Riders are typically
respectful of other people and the trails they ride.
I am 44, have three kids and as Freddy Mercury sang, I like to ride my
bicycle. Come on Karamea, it is 2009, there are thousands of riders
who would love to spend time in your beautiful town, put together a
working party and develop a strategy to attract riders, you won’t
regret it. I put money on it that the local councillors will be the
first to slip on a helmet and wile away a few hours riding some sweet
local trails. At least your kids will thank you!
Kind Regards
Michael Reeves
St Albans
Christchurch
***From Classic New Zealand Mountain Bike Rides 7th Edition By Simao, Jonathan and Paul Kennett***
“The bible of where to ride.” Jeff Brass, New Zealand Herald.
K Road: Rating Thumbs Down (no stars…no way we’d be back for these duds)
110 km north of Westport
Grade 4, 1-2 hours, 6 km
Ironically, this is the only mountain bike track that’s been officially opened by a New Zealand Prime Minister. The Right Honourable could have hardly picked a worse one!
Route Description: Loads of dosh have been poured into providing toilet, a car park, a map board and promotion. Only one thing is missing––a good mountain bike track. Instead, after hours of driving, you get to ride a steep, grovelly, dead-end forestry road. In an area renowned for outstanding scenery, this ride has virtually none. It’s logged-over, weed-infested landscape that might look good in decades, but the steep forestry road will still make it ‘K” for krap.
Track Conditions: 100% boring forestry road
Notes: The one consolation is that, for just a few more kilometres of driving, you can walk to the Oparara Arch. Pity it’s not rideable, but scenery is impressive.
Rongo Mondays
Sparrow Fart : Tra la la la!!
7:00 am Put on fire
7:11 am Light fire!
7:21 am Get fire started!
7:38 am Pour a four and half of diesel down chimney from roof!
7:42 am Run to farm baches for conditioning, fitness and survival!!
7: 45 am Ring Rongo! Get Max to light the fire!
8:00 am Ring Rongo!! Max “ Please light the fire!” “Jawhol…..
8 :00::04 am KABOOM!!!!!!!
8:00:04:01 am DJ Pukeko gets to room with new French wwoofer!!! OO la la!!
9:00 am Meeting in new Rongo bomb shelter!!! Free Water!!!
9:00:01 Roll Call: William?? Oui!! Claire?? Oui Aussi!!
Lisa??? Ya Mein Herr!! Zoe?? You betcha dude!! DJ Pukeko?? DJ Pukeko??? Absent!! Max ?? Max ?? Absent!!
9:00:01 DJ Pukeko “Da ya tam!” “Where is Max??” “Que???”
9:15:00:00 am WORK!!!!!
9:15:00:00:01 Put tools away!! Double check!!
9:15:00:15 am Morning tea. Max’s home made cheese and onion bread!!!MMMM!! Yummy!
Elevenses : Game of Chess. Max Memorial Trophy up for grabs!
Free water – Brians shout!!!
Lunch : Three Hour Executive Lunch
Free water : Paul’s shout!!!
4 pm Collect firewood for new indoor BBQ pit!
Water rationing after 4 pm!!! Honesty box for wwoofers installed with security camera and secret microphone to tape praise and worship of El Presidente for such an ecologicallly motivated gesture! Wwoofer honesty box for water only takes $20 notes! Arf Arf!!
4:01:01 pm PUB!!! Free Water!! DJ Pukeko’s Shout!!!
4:10:02 pm PUB Crawl!!
4:20:15 pm Last Resort: Free water!! Paul in really generous mood today!! My shout!! Let’s drink the bar dry!!
4:44:11 Saracens Bush Lounge: Dan’s specialty Fish Soup!!
4:55:15 Rongolians suffering from Hyponaetremia!!!
7:00 pm Monday Pot Luck Dinner : Roast Taniwha, Rangonui Ragoo – All of Max’s food thrown into big pot and boiled for three hours!! Wash down with Max’s spare beers!!
8:00 pm Huge Man Hunt for Max!!!
8:00:05 pm DJ Pukeko!! “ I’m first in the fire bath!!
11:35:35 Search for Max scaled down by Police and Search and Rescue!! Search to recommence next week weather permitting!!!!
11:45:45 Dans la salle de chambre!! Mmmm!! La perfum de pall mall!!!
DJ Pukeko! “Ah Mademoiselle!! Quel grandes dentes que tu as!! Ah Mademoiselle quel grandes pieds and demains que tu as!!
BIGGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hypothermia
Trampers in the wild and even elderly people at home can get hyptothermic. Karamea has a sub tropical climate but the combination of wet, wind and cold can produce hypothermia within 30 minutes!
To determine whether a person has hypothermia it is important to take a body temperature reading. A reading below 35C , then the person most likely has hypothermia.
Essential:
Prevent further heat loss.
Rest for 48 hours
Gradual warm
After vigorous exercise put on warm clothes. Symptoms – Shivering, muscles and skin feels cold. Reduced blood flow makes skin pale bluish. Early signs of hypothermia mlook like fatigue!
The type of person who is most at risk of getting hypothermia is someone who has walked too far, carried too heavy a load, unfit, hungry, demoralised. Especially watch childrenwhen they come out after a swim even from heated pools!
Wear a hat preferably fur lined and water proof.
Wet and Wind = 90% loss of insulation.
Warm up gradually with vigorous body rub and also get into sleeping bag in tent and let your body temperature warm the person up. And hey remember to wear a prophylactic!!!
Interview with Moo
SuperMoo the Karamea WonderDog
DJ Pukeko : Good afternoon young man. I would like just to extend the gratitude of the management, publishers, readers and reporting staff of The Rongolian Star for such an elevated celebrity giving the Free World a unique insight into the dynamic world of a Super Dog Wonder Star!
SuperMoo : G’daymateowyagoin’orright?
DJ Pukeko: Upon my word you have a rather broad Ocker accent
SuperMoo : Bloody oath!
DJ Pukeko : So tell the readers how you managed to master the English language with such elan, panache and cultured elocution!
Super Moo : Keeping me ears open sport! I can swear like a trooper in Ocker and Japanese!!!
DJ Pukeko : This is a family publication and I would rather not subject the readers to …..
Super Moo : #@@&*%%$#@!!!!
DJ Pukeko : I do not believe the Pope does anything of the sort!!
SuperMoo : Yeah cobba ah pour us a Schooner of Bundaberg Rum mate!!
DJ Pukeko : Are you relaxed now and ready for our interview?
SuperMoo : Our interview?? My interview schnozzer!!
DJ Pukeko : Ow!!! Schwein hundt!! Did you have to bite me on the leg!!
SuperMoo : I’m a wild wolf bred on hunting my prey for survival and man you taste like a big muffin! YUK!!
DJ Pukeko : Panty Droppers my speciality!!
SuperMoo : GGGRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DJ Pukeko : Scary!! What was that for!!
SuperMoo : The Call of the Wild! The chicky babes love it!! Arf Arf!
DJ Pukeko : You are such a celebrity! Your own Face Book Page with over 200 friends and you had 11 birthdays last year!! Man look at all these hot babes slobbering all over you!! WOWW!
So where do I begin?
SuperMoo : So tell the readers about me being Player of the Day at Russian Rules. Never subbed off and scored 3 ah scintillating tries!!
DJ Pukeko : You only scored one try!!
SuperMoo : RRRRAAALLLLLPPPPPHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
DJ Pukeko : Ok Ok 3 tries and well executed every one of them.
SuperMoo : You know cobba I’m the only dog in Karamea wih enough BALLS!!! to jump off the Karamea Bridge!! Have you made the leap of faith DJ Pookuckoo???
DJ Pookuckoo : Well ah …spiritually ah …yes!!
SuperMoo : You Big Fat Girls Blouse! What a Nancy!!
I am inspired by life’s quiet moments, those moments of being, masked as we busily continue our day. I create images which connect us to the feelings and perceptions that fill the spaces between our daily interactions with each other, revealing the being behind the doing. With my camera, I combine photographic elements to reveal this extraordinary nature, to create my own truth of any chosen moment.
As in life, so in Art – connection. Light and colour come through first, followed by recognition of the subject. Every story starts with a moment. Every photograph here has been a moment and continues to survive as a moment when engaged by viewer.
The space between doing and being, between what is said and what is thought, between taking a photograph and viewing that photograph, what is expressed and what is felt – that space where shadows and reflections dance, where daydreams exist . . .
At the beginning are my photographic images – standing alone they translate the world around me, the concrete world of daily routines, life cycles and our environment. The camera isolates these elements usually connected by spatial placement and functional context. My images transform daily details, sometimes by identification and isolation, sometimes by painting with my camera. Through this translation, a new perception is encouraged.
Though we strive for our moments of clarity wholly in the present – and I have claimed that my photographic images can do just this – be wholly in the moment – past memories and future responses tumble into these moments. Just as our daily lives are shaped by our environment – be it buildings, homes, fields, orchards, so too are they shaped by the inner connections. So many threads of histories, emotions and memories that fill spaces between us, all the connections woven internally and externally – all the many ways of approaching life and connecting with ourselves, others and our environment. It is all of these elements, these formless elements that occupy this body of work.
There is a paradoxical element to this work – as transitional moments are captured – frozen flames, dancing feet – and then printed to be viewed out of context. So time has become a key element to my working process, both as theme and method; and within a musical context, time as emotive compositional element. Here I am, a visual artist, creating images of those spaces between, those ethereal influences that inhabit our environment and our lives, with my camera and images of this physical world we all share.
I was Karamea’s Artist in Residence in 2010. For 10 wonderful weeks I lived in this remote part of New Zealand with 600 inhabitants and only one very windy road in and out, and developed my art practice and created new work. I was struck by how connected people appeared to be with themselves, their environment and each other. Art is an accepted element of New Zealand culture and a major influence of this residency on me has been finding a balance between life and art. I exhibited some of this new work in Karamea at the end of my residency. A year on, time has been spent with the images and impact of the residency and this is the first outing for a new body of work to come from that time and experience.
Paul Murray: ArtofNature Photography
Nature speaks to me. As I pass by, I hear it calling…please take my picture mister…Artofnature, it’s all there; vibrant patterns, vivid colours, intricate designs of pure genius and incredible beauty. I’m not the artist here, I just observe, contemplate and record the splendour and art of nature…all the creative work has already been done for me by the flowers, bushes, rivers, clouds, rocks and trees.
However, within each image, there are infinite visual metaphors…I try to capture a natural image that includes a metaphor in my photographs to enhance their artistic merit, to reflect other facets of life, and to inspire imagination and creative thinking in the viewer.
So, I listen to nature and seek to capture its message, add my own and present it to others as a photograph.
For this exhibition, I have chosen to use one image and replicate, flip, rotate, rejoin, blend, mirror and match to form a series of symmetrical montages from the original.
I look forward to exhibiting with Norma Burrowes who has been an inspiration to me and encouraged me back to the shutter.
I met Norma in 2009 when she was a resident artist at the LivinginPeace Project in Karamea, New Zealand, which I founded.
I hope you enjoy the exhibition and if you are in New Zealand, please come and visit!
Native Plants April – Flax
Flax Harakeke
Flax is a traditional part of Maori life and has been ever since the Maori arrived in New Zealand.
Flax is used for rope, weaving for use as necklaces in jewellery
weaving to make food carry alls.
The seeds are highly edible. When white or green they are sweet and meaty. When black and shiny they are bitter. The sweet ones are nice on their own or sprinkled on a salad.
What I have noticed is that the plants with short, fat pods seem more likely to contain sweet white seeds – and after a while you can predict which pods will contain the sweetest seeds, because they have a slightly more yellow-brown tinge to them than the other pods.
It seems that the easiest way to extract the seeds from the pod is to snap it in the middle and squeeze the seeds out from each end.
They are nice in salads, and I am keen to try adding them to a paste or dip, probably ground up.
I haven’t had much luck with cooking or drying them. They tend shrivel to almost nothing.
Other edible parts You can get a lot of sweet nectar out of the flowers. Maori have used it as a sweetener.
My friend Jane, who introduced me to flax seeds, says she has a friend who collects the pollen from flax flowers as a nutritional supplement. Flax produces a LOT of pollen, as I found when I looked down at my clothes after brushing up against flax flowers!
Soothing, healing gel The plant’s gel can be found by pulling apart the leaves at the base. It has antiseptic qualities and makes a good substitute for aloe vera gel. I’ve used it to make a skin lotion.
Paper making Andrew Reilly, an artisan papermaker in Bulls, has revived the art of making paper from harakeke, and produces a range of lovely papers.
Next Months Issue – Native edibles
An analysis of what nutritious plants and wildlife exist in the bush and indeed in your own backyard that you can eat. Snow berries, oxalis, nasturtiums, dandelion root, monkey puzzle nuts, flax seed, fern root, huhu grubs and many flowers and seeds from bushes and trees that the Maori ate
Published by Royal Decree since 1878Rongo Backpackers, 130 Waverley Street, Karamea, West Coast, South Island, New ZealandWeb: www.rongobackpackers.co.nzE-mail: rongo@actrix.co.nzPh: 037826667
The Heaphy Track, one of New Zealand’s “Great Walks” is now open to mountain bikers from May 1 to September 30 for a three-year trial period staring in 2011 and is set to also become a Great Ride for people of all ages.
The Heaphy Track offers the only multi-day cycle course through a National Park in New Zealand. The track is 82 kilometres long and traverses the Kahurangi National Park from Collingwood in the north of the South Island to Karamea on the West Coast.
The track is well-formed all-weather track and has seven well-appointed Department of Conservation huts along the way. The huts are warm, dry and comfortable with bunk beds, wood-fired heaters, rainwater tanks, toilets and five have gas-cooking facilities. All rivers and major streams along the track have suspension bridges, but there may be some small creeks and watercourses that will require fording, please take care when crossing the bridges and water crossings. It is necessary to book huts, to do so, please visit the DOC Heaphy Track Web site (www.doc.govt.nz) or regional i-Sites or visitor centres.
Along the way, riders and trampers pass through a diverse range of spectacular scenery through lush beech forest, up to 950 metres through the expansive tussock plains of the Gouland Downs and down again to the stunning nikau palm groves where the West Coast meets the roaring Tasman Sea.
Riders should be well prepared for inclement weather conditions as the region is known for sudden storms, associated floods, occasional snow falls and strong winds, as well as for sunshine, clear blue skies and warm, calm days. Please carry wet weather gear and warm clothing as well as sun protection, first-aid kits, plenty of water, food supplies as well as spare parts, puncture repair kits etc. Be prepared for all eventualities as it is a long way from the middle of the track if help is required and it is important that riders take responsibility for their own safety and wellbeing.
Most trampers travel from the Collingwood end and finish the track in Karamea and riders will likely do the same, but there is no rule as to which way the track is travelled. Several transport services can deliver riders to the beginning of the track from Collingwood and then from the Kohaihai Shelter at the end of the track to Karamea where a hot shower, cold beer, great food and a comfortable bed await riders and trampers alike after conquering the Heaphy. (Please see transport section of the Web site)
***The Heaphy Track will be a dual-use facility open to both mountain bikers and trampers during the winter months, so please respect the rights of each group to utilise the track and enjoy the facilities, experience and adventure. Please refer to the Mountain Bikers Code below***
Mountan Bikers near MacKay Hut on the Heaphy Track (Photo by Paul Murray)
Mountain Biker Crossing a Swing Bridge (Photo by Paul Murray)
Kiwi Anna
Every so often an angel visits Rongo and envelops the gathered mulititude with peace and love. St. Anna originally from Nikolaev a ship building town on UjniBug river in the Ukraine arrived at Rongo after conquering the Heaphy Track.
Best memory of Ukraine – boiled soggy cabbage for breakfast, also Katamaran rafting with her parents!
Bat Yam is a town in Israel where Anna now lives after moving from the Ukraine. Bat Yam was originally established as Bayit Vagan after a mass migration of Jews to Israel.
Two years in the Israeli Army as a medic in the artillery fulfilled Anna’s compulsory military service.
Her fantasy ambition “Is to open sheep farm in New Zealand with colourful sheepski!”
The Nobel prize for biotechnology and genetic engineering will be Anna’s before she is 30. She intends to study like a robbers dog arf arf and with her passion and fruit diet that will be a certainty!
“Jerusalem is the most amazing place in Israel because of the magic feeling of 2000 years history of its streets.”
Favourite Group: “Mechashefot” an Israeli three piece pop band.
My hero – my father Igor an electrical engineer who is a walking encyclopedia.
On Sunday night we had the privilege of listening to Anna recite in Russian Pushkin and Doestevesky and poems written by her good friend Yevgeny Mishutin … a great poet and an amazing person. The Radio Karamea jingles produced by Jan and Dorothea now include a Hebrew and Russian version.
This Month in Rongolia
***Rongo has the most amazing guests come to stay and apart from DJ Pukeko raiding the guest fridge at night with Mimi and eating the guests chocolate Rongo is virtually without incident***
Jan and Dorothea and Pastor Leummund
Jan and Dorothea with their two beautiful kinder Lievre and Henrietta arrived at Rongo and really made everyone smile!
Jan was born in Lubeck which is on the Baltic Sea in the North of Germany and has spent 25 years in Berlin.
I started drawing pictures first doing portraits then started to study art in university in Berlin. In this time the wall fell and I got involved in the squatting scene in the empty east part of Berlin. I became a member of an art squat project, we bought an old house in Frenzlauer Berg and renovated it for 7 years as a collective of of 30 people, I began to write poems , inspired by Dada and Kurt Schwitters. Dadaism is a cultural movement that began in Zurich, Switzerland during World War I and peaked from 1916 to 1922. The movement primarily involved visual art, literature, poetry, art, mail art theory and graphic design and concentrated its anti-war politics through a rejection of the prevailing standards in art theory, art and anti art cultural works. Its purpose was to ridicule what its participants considered to be the of the modern world.
In another squat I started to celebrate dadaistic masses with my lyrics each Wednesday at midnight for 2 years as Pastor Leumund with a fast growing community. I was also involved in many musical projects with my writing, touring around with bands. When it was made illegal to squat in Berlin I moved to Zurich for 4 years and squatted the Cabaret Voltaire the birthplace of Dada in 1917 founding a dadaistic art collective. Back in Berlin I met Dorothea and now have 2 kids with Lewe (2) and Henrietta (1).
I try to earn money with offering songwriting, recording, workshops for kids and selling radioplayers to radio stations.
My passion is to bring people or activities together , which are considered to not fit together, like for example art and politics, party and protest, birds and bicycles…etc.
Therefore I admire people like Joseph Boys, the early Christoph Schlinggensief or Lewis. I like twists and turns, I like your humour arf arf, I wish I had your energy. Being a missionary man without missionairing seems like a very clever idea to me.
Dorothea Stilified an artist born in 1975 in Munich Germany . I grew up in Odenberg near north Sea of Germany. When I was thirteen I started to do sculptures and painting. When I finished school I started travelling. I went to San Francisco California USA where I ended up at the Burning Man Festival. I got involved with many artists and started photography. I had artists and started photography. I had my own darkroom to do black and white photography. I went to Mexico then to ludia? Then back to Mexico for two years studying Spanish doing sculptures.
2003 I went to Chile for an art project ended up working on a street performance with street children.
Went to Patagonia to do a great track. Always trying to get in touch with indigenous people. I met one of the last two Yamana women in the south of Patagonia. Her existence and point of view on the world changed my life!
Unsung Heroes
Karamea on a global scale is demographically challenged, but as far as giants are concerned produces more than its fair share.
Anne Smith one of the driving forces behind the market at Market Cross every Saturday morning is soon to depart from from Karamea’s tropical climes. Everyone’s friend Anne has ensured that locals and visitors to Karamea have a focal point to enjoy a leisurely Saturday morning browsing through food, produce and bric a brac stalls.
Rose and Gary Smith of the Karamea Sound Machine have provided the music and stage for the Winter Solstice and also the screen for drive in movies at Little Wanganui and Oparara Reserve. Drive in movies venues have had a professional air with giant screen and really amazing sound quality.
Another tireless worker in Karamea is JackWilkes who looks after the swimming pool summer every day during the season.
Karamea should be extremely grateful for these people who work behind the scenes and make things happen and ensure Karamea enjoys big city entertainment and facilities.
Off the Top of My Head:
UP THERE CAZALY! Australian Rules Football
(By Paul Murray)
In an effort to internationalise Australia Rules Football, a delegation of the best players from the Australia Football League, including my mate Todd Viney, then captain of the Melbourne Football Club, flew across the world in 1998 to take on the Irish national football team in Dublin. The match rules were a compromise between Gaelic Football and Aussie Rules, and the game was a very physical clash of cultures, codes, egos and patriotism.
The Irish players were unfamiliar with the physical attacking game of the Aussies as Gaelic Football is very much non-contact and has similar physical engagement rules to soccer, so when the Aussies began to tackle hard, Irish tempers flared and the game was marred by several on-field punch-ups involving most players from both teams. The Irish media dubbed the Aussies “a bunch of thugs.”
Post match, a TV crew interviewed a London punk complete with Union Jack vest and Dr, Marten’s boots…when asked what he thought of the game, he said with a pronounced Cockney accent, “Not bad, not bad…I like a bit o’ violence.”
Spud Rocker “Likes a bit o’ Violence.”
“… the game was so terrific that ere half the time was gone,
A spectator’s leg was broken – just from merely looking on.”
Banjo Patterson from “Geebung Polo Club.”
Tackling and Handball:
(St Kilda Captain gets a Handball Away in the Nick of Time)
Australian Football is a very physical game in which tackling above the knee and below the shoulder is encouraged, the ball is kicked forward and passed by holding it in the palm of one hand and punching it with the other––a hand pass. Throwing the ball is not permitted. Each side has 18 on-field players and about 4 reserves who come off the interchange bench to rest on-ball players or to replace injured team mates. The match consists of four 30-minute quarters with short breaks at quarter and three-quarter time and a longer break at half-time.
Aussie rules is widely played in the southern Australian state capitals of Perth, Adelaide and Melbourne, with teams from Sydney, Brisbane joining in the 1980s and most recently a team from the Gold Coast will line up for the 2011 season.
The Spectacular Athleticism of the High Mark
I grew up on Kangaroo Island, south of Adelaide, and played Aussie Rules Football as a junior with Parndana Roosters in the 1970s and my footy career continued until I was in my early 30s where I and hung up my boots after playing my last game for the Goannas in Tokyo in 1997. I played for Prince Alfred College, Parilla, Roseworthy College, Old Geelong in Melbourne and the Goannas, a team of expatriates in Japan.
There are Aussie Rules teams in most countries and I once happened across a training session in Copenhagen where I offered my assistance to the coach and took the Danes for a session of skills training to sharpen up their ball handling…the physical stuff lasted about an hour and discussions of football at club’s local pub went considerably longer and much. Later, at a hole-in-the-wall for salty old Danish sea dogs, a tide of Carlsberg was consumed as we debated the finer points of what we all agreed should be a much more international game.
International Sport: Footy meets Bull Fighting
International Sport: Footy meets Bull Fighting
(Thrilling the Spaniards with Speed, Skill and Agility to Evade a Mad Bull)
Granity Insanity!!(Fear and Loathing South of the Bluff)
The Karamea Conqueror’s meet the Granity Girls at the Rotunda ChessBoard BattleField.
Sanity???? Nyet!!! Vanity???? Nein!!!!Granity Mob Rules!! OK!!!Kumbaya my Lord! Kumbaya!O Lord Kumbaya!What a beautiful glorious Sunday Lord! Kumbaya
O Lord Kumbaya!
The Karamea Kretins are getting a flogging at chess from the Granity Mob Lord! Kumbaya!
O Lord Kumbaya!
Dave Dirty Dog Roberts (Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts) is getting carved up like a Sunday roast by sly old fox Petra Vitikovski, Lord! Kumbaya!
O Lord Kumbaya!
Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts is not only getting a chess lesson from Petra, he is eating the last of the chocolate muffins Lord! Kumbaya!
O Lord Kumbaya!!
Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts is just about to get checkmated by Petra very shortly, wipe the muffin crumbs off his snout and then finish off his play lunch, when he forks Peter’s king and rook with an absolute brilliancy that would make Deep Blue blush red, and then take Petra’s wayward Knight and sensationally snatch the laurels of victory and restore some vestige of respect to all of Karamea and its hard working citizens who were relying on Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts to take to the Granity Mob with the Pork Sword, Lord! Kumbaya!
O Lord Thou art wonderful, glorious, merciful and benevolent Lord and I will never fart in church again Lord! Kumbaya!!O Lord Kumbaya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts overlooks the most sensational tactically brilliant move ever seen in the history of chess since Ruy Lopez wrote Libra De La Invencion Liberaly Arte and embarks on a cunning strategy of deception, guile, stage acting, propaganda and outright psychological intimidation of Petra Vitikofsky that would have made Al Capone proud to call Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts Mi Amigo, that ultimately sees Petra queen a pawn and checkmate Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts and cause DJ Pukeko in blind anger to extract the Granity Rock weighing some 5 tonnes from its abode in the Granity Domain in one mighty lift and proceed to the cheers of all and sundry to give Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts a clout around the ear with said monolith, Lord! Kumbaya!!!!O Lord! K…U..M..B…A….y Aaaaaaggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***Despite the recent unfortunate set-back (thanks to Dave Dirty Dog “Lock up Yer Grandmothers” Roberts), The Karamea Kretins look forward to the opportunity to wrest back our rightful title…On our turf, any time Ladies….***
Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts on the Make with coaching from DJ Pukeko (Spot the Local!)
The 2011 Karamea Easter Chess Classic hosted by Rongo Backpackers is all set to be An Absolute Ripper!!! 5 days of chess, golf, fishing, tennis, Umere GIANT Rimu tree, Mt. Stormy climb, amazing bush and scenery unique to Karamea!!! Fresh, healthy organic food, movie, Radio Karamea 107.5 FM and you be DJ Rongolia, Fancy Dress Party and West Coast Wild Women………and I mean WIILDDD!!!!!
***Please e-mail for a return e-mail brochure and we will book you in for the Easter Break of your life!!!
Spot the Local! (Close Knit Granity Neighbourhood!!! Yeah Right Tui!!!)
Granity Bandstand Rotunda Sunday February 27th 2011
Act 1: Scene 1.
Actors :Petra Vitikofsky : Proprietor of Granity Rocks, Kevski, Phil, Steve, local Granity identity Cowboy Daveski, Dirty Dog Roberts, DJ Pukeko, Ben Lodge, Poo Bum the white horse, Ed, his missus, Jan, Dorothea, Lieber and Henrietta!…..Enter Stockton Mine Hard man and Tangata Whenua Ed!DJ Pukeko: G’day Mate!Ed : Mate!DJ Pukeko : Know any results from the rugby mate!!
Ed : Yeah mate!! The Highlanders beat the Chiefs mate!
DJ Pukeko : Bonza, Bewdy, Brillo, Mate !! You a southern man Ed?
Ed: Yeah mate! From Whammaaru mate!!
Poo Bum : Neigh!!!!!!! Mate!!!
Kevski : Da comrade! Did you here drive in car?
Ed : No I’m from here! Mate!
Petra : You local in Granity Comrade?
Poo Bum : Neigh!!!!!!!
Ed : Yeah mate!! Been living here in Granity 3 years mate!, Work at the Stockton Mine mate!!
Petra : Never you see at Pub comrade!
Cowboy Daveski : Ya Granity Dedushka e nyet tebya!!
Kevski : Nyet comrade!!
Philski : Where woman you living and which house you eating ??
Ed : In that street just down over there in the third house down about 250 yards away…mate!
Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts : I am rather pleased to make your acquaintance sir!
Ed : Mate!!Dave “Dirty Dog” Roberts: You want to mate??? Me??? Don’t you mean check and mate?? Surely!!Granity: Population 85, three streets, three shops, one horse, 85 pubs, 44 ½ brothels, one blind labrador, two incontinent corgis named Woofus and Wodger, 1 War Memorial, one church and 1 famous bandstand rotunda and you don’t know your neighbour who has lived there for three years!
Giant Chess at Granity Rotunda
Stardust!!
A very attractive and vibrant young Lass from Die Heimat entertained a huge audience in the gardens of the Saracens Bush Lounge.
Svenja has an enchanting voice that maybe one day will be heard in a shower near you!
Jan on drums, Clare on the flute, Gato on the Brazilian wonga gonga and Svenja on guitar formed a lively ensemble.
Svenja spread some of her magical stardust on Rongo and Saracens and it was a sad day to see her leave to head south.
Bilbo Baggens Bazooka
Bilbo or Baggens to his mates is the sort of charcter straight out of a kids pirate adventure. Thursday night saw on Radio Karamea “The Bilbo Baggens Bazooka” with his own brand of humour, choice of music.
Baggens had a great time fishing while he was in Karamea and caught plenty of Kahawai and eels which he generously cooked up for all the guests and Wwoofers.
Gato on a very rare Irish left handed G-string guitar, Jan Drums, Claire Flute and Svenja Guitar Playing Live at Saracen’s Bush Lounge
Wwoofers
To do justice to the mighty contribution of Rongo wwoofers and indeed guests of Rongo would be impossible.Rongo Life time Rainbows of Peace to Johann, Marine, Sam, Myrthe, Jan, Dorothea, Orla, Rex, Osnat, Anie, Gina, Rico, Frederic, Mimi, Martina, Chris, Stu, Big Man, Little Naughty, Lewis, Alicia, Minna, Miles, Mitsuyo, Yannick, Baggins, Claire, Shota, Magdalena….and many, many more………………..Yeah ok Supermoo you can have one too just don’t eat it all at once and every person who has contributed to a spectacularly successful January/ February for Rongo!!Shota
So you think you are an art expert because you once read an art book about Googain, Maradonna, or Moo’s favourite artist Ruff Ruff Ruffael! Well you haven’t met SHOTA!!!http://www.shotakawahara.com
Shota and His Art-Production Team at Rongo February 2011
LivinginPeace Project resident artist Kristin Mikrut from Colorado College has been assisting the Master with his sensational pieces des resistances, which will make the entire art world say “Yes of course I know Shota! I created him darling!”
Poetry Alive – Radio Karamea 107.5 FM Sunday 8 pmA new phenomenon has graced the airwaves at Rongo: Poetry Alive!!
Sunday night with DJ Mikrut, DJ Pukeko, Rongo wwoofers, guests and invited celebrities.Macbeth, Young Lochinvar, La Marseilaise, Yogi Kamai, Doestevetsky, Pushkin, The Famous Five, Winnie The Pooh and original poetry and music!!Radio Karamea 107.5 FM 8 pm Sunday The Voice of Paradise.
Poetry readings , superlative music, light comedy, and hot babeskis!!
***Rongolian Star: Unbridled Journalism Brought to you by the Professionals: DJ Crap and DJ Pukeko***
***Final Note: Many thanks to Mona Müller-Kähler for designing this excellent logo for our transport service:
Karamea Connections: Movement of the People Here, There and Everywhere…..
LOCIN a showy bay yearling colt by Peter out of June Hazel saw first light of day in Jinja, Uganda in 1955. A precocious head strong descendant of the Darley Arabian LOCIN aka Colin’s first day at school was in his neighbour’s back yard and involved basic Bush Craft Survival Techniques. A leopard came into the garden one day and ate a dog instead of the teacher as per instructions much to the annoyance of the little kiddies! Locin’s enraged father Peter shot the leopard and fed it to his pet budgie Pteradactyl.
Peter was District Labour Officer and in Tanzania was involved in the International Labour Organisation and was involved in TANU Tanzania National Union at that time Tanzania was a socialist/communist country.
Gardening was an exciting feature of Locin’s upbringing. A herd of hippos once came into the family garden and fell straight into the cess pit. Locin at 3 despite having a big stick was unable to keep them submerged without help so got assistance from one of his mates.
During the Dar Mutiny when he was in Dar Es Salaam––the Haven of Peace––local natives massacred Arabs for crimes committed over 300 years of injustice and piled up the dead bodies in Locin’s family’s garden under the coconut tree. Needless to say this organic mulch was just what the doctor ordered and the family coconut tree for many years after that produced spectacularly large camel flavoured coconuts.
His mother June Hazel harvested the coconuts by reversing the family Hillman Minx cabriolet into the coconut trees and dislodging quite a number of coconuts. On one occasion a coconut fell through the roof of the car narrowly missing a trembling LOCIN. LOCIN became a little bit suspicious when his mother insisted he sit in the back seat every time she harvested coconuts. At 4 he also noticed that the dish washing liquid June Hazel put in his muesli had a skull and cross bones on it. LOCIN started to really worry at 5 when June Hazel with LOCIN in the back seat drove with a cackling laugh after a herd of charging elephants that were going in the opposite direction.
LOCIN was made of tougher stuff and survived to see 17 and climb Mt. Kilamanjaro (The Misty Mountain) in jandals.
Locins pedigree includes some very successful golfers. His brother Paul was a club teaching pro and Paul’s son Andrew was a successful golfer winning the England Amateur Match Play Championship and had a successful career on the European Tour.
At 17 Locin’s first job was as a bookmakers clerk at the Bookmakers Club for William Hill at Epsom Downs Race Course. Placing a 10p x 57 bet Heinz x 6 race accumulator Locin picked four winners and collected a Yankee worth 3 and half thousand knicker. Watched Appalachia win the 1972 Derby at Epsom Downs. Living in SW18 LOCIN was an upmarket member of the West End Mafia.
Young Locin Collects a Gambling Debt for an East London Bookmaker
Its’ like this see!! Last Monday Gypsy Warning I was in the Jack Tar down at The Frog ‘N Toad having a right Leo Sayer. There I was! Drinking a few Forsythe Sagas with Bonza me best China Plate.
Well strewth the Pitch and Toss from the local Cream Cookies gets me on the Dog and Bone!
Wants to know if I want to earn a Lady Godiva doin’ a Tina Turner! Wants me to collect a Macaroni from a Gerry O’Gorman Four ByTwo who’s done a Botany Bay after losing a John Major on a Bottle of Sauce at the Airs and Graces. So I thinks this Hillman Hunter is right Alan Border.
So I puts on me Weasel and Stoat and heads round Pat Malone to me Steve Claridge, grabs me a shooter, jumps in me Haddock and Bloater and heads around to his Rat and Mouse down in The Isle of Dogs.
Well Fuck Me! If his Trouble and Strife wearing nothing but her pink kippers and Eddie Grundies answers the Rory O’Moore. Didn’t even have a Master McGrath on to cover her saggy tits!! A right old Doug McClure this one. Used to be a Herring Kipper at a sleazy rub a dub in Soho. Uglier than me old Kate Karney, she makes Draculas Bottle and Porter look like an apple pie. So I just about did a Wallace and Grommet right there on the foot step!
Anway it seems a Bottle Stopper from Uncle Wilf has just been round and her Fryin Pan is back in the Shovel and Pail doin Porridge! Seems Shylock is a right Stoke on Trent!
Cynthia takes me for a right Steam Tug and offers me a Gregory Peck to pay his tab. I says no way. Arthur Ashe or nuffin!! I knows he Coals and Coke. She must have thought I’m a Right old Lilley and Skinner. Anyways, so all this aggravashun is giving me Nuremberg trials the right Raw Tomato!
So I gets on the blower and organises for a few of me Garden Plates in Pokey to visit Rubenstein in his Flowery Dell and give him a bit of how’s your father. I says to them make sure his bacon and eggs get a right old mutton pie, knock a few Hampstead Heath out of his North and South and give him a couple Oliver Twists on the Red Ruby. Costs me a score and I’m only making a Lady Godiva. A right old Jackie Brambles!!
Well anyways the Pitch and Toss is happy and so I heads round to The Dog’s Bollocks for a Brittney Spears and a plate of Kate and Sidney and Jack The Ripper! Strewth! Costs me all of Jack’s Alive Touch Me On the Knob!!
You can betcha the day Shalomoinker is Whale and Gale I’ll be doin a butchers down at his local Nearand Far. I’ll have his Family Jewels for John Skinner, get my Sugar and Honey back and have a right old Turkish Bath!
Locins most memorable moment was at Walton Heath Golf Course watching his father shoot a hole in one on a par 5. Peter shouted the bar but go so blotto that Locin had to pick up the tab after his father hid in his golf bag to avoid having to fork out for all the bludgers that celebrated his hole in one!
Colin was an extremely popular guest at Rongo and will be particularly welcome back on March 7th, which is official “Rongo Guests Dig Deep in Their Pockets and Shout the Wwoofers as Much Booze as it Takes for All and Sundry to get Completely Yogenberried Down at The Frog ‘n Toad Day.” Last year’s renewal was so successful that consideration has been given to set aside the month of Ramadan for a nonstop all out PISSUP!!
As a DJ on Radio Tanzania Locin and Patrick Huletes were the first to introduce Reggae into Tanzania. Locins favourite music is The Stones, Desmond Dekker, Led Zep, Dr. John Little Feet and Ska Rock Steady. The Rongo freezer is full of Kahawai thanks to Locins fishing expertise. So cheers mate!
Colin and Friends at Dinner: Rongo Backpackers January 2011
Australia Day January 26th 2011
Ocker Day is the day that celebrates King George III in 1788 buying all of Oz, excluding Tasmania, which still no one wants, for 2 six packs of VB, a McDonalds Worksburger voucher and a flagon of Meths!
Australia Day was celebrated in fine style at Rongo with an Aussie BBQ, the one and only 500th Blues show on Radio Karamea 107.5 FM and a fire in the Rongo Firepit. A fine selection of classic Oz Rock, Blues, Pop and Jazz was rudely interrupted by Bollywood Muzak as Rajah Tim (DJ Echo Echo Echo) celebrated India’s National Day.
A pot luck dinner combo of Indian Curry and Char Grilled Mouton saw many Rongo guests sprintto the khazi with Cuckoo Puku! Strewth!
Rongo El President for Life Palo Murrio said on January 27th, “I woke up in the boudoir of the local dominatrix bruised and naked, covered in vomit, couldn’t remember a bloody thing…tremendous fun, and I’m really looking forward to next year!!”
Then highlight of Ozzie Day was a rendition of Waltzing Matilda played over Radio Karamea on a miniature hand held organ.
What is Australia great for? Ozzie sportmen have the killer instinct and know how to put the hammer down and whenever they shaft any team of whinging Poms they know how to stick the knife good and deep give it a few twists and come away smiling! Greatest Aussie of all time Sir Donald Bradman closely followed by Kazaly, Dennis Lillee, Banjo Paterson (no relation to Sir Les Patterson) and Yeah THOMMO!
Hurricane Duncan!!
Storm Force 10!! Hurricane Duncan hit Rongo with a vengeance last Saturday Night devastating unsuspecting wwoofers and guests alike.
Captain Cook and Black Douglas!! Guilty As Charged Your Honour!!
Dee Shjay Schmupekoko was far too shmart to be cauort unawares by a shlethhal combo of mlashes flavoured hopsh, whisshky and gorsh wiene. A devout Shcristishan and shhetotolasler The Schmupeko wnet to shurshch shcommunshion wish a clear shed and all the parishshsionersh said Shallalushjah!!
Duncan and Friends at Dinner: Rongo Backpackers (circa 2009)
The Orchestral Spheres – Karamea Village Hotel
Probably the most amazing act ever seen in Karamea The Orchestral Spheres entertained an exceptionally large crowd. Utilising a clever combination of original dance, off the wall home made musical instruments, clapping, chanting and lyrics The Orchestral Spheres caused many a heart to flutter with gay abandon!
The stand out was a rather ugly dwarf who doubled as a stand up comic. Whenever he stood up the audience genuinely and generously laughed at him!
Quotes from adoring fans!!
“The most eccentric and avant garde act to hit Karamea since the 1929 earthquake.”
DJ Crap.
“A scintillating visual symphony of big hairy grinding, thumping thigh muscle and a mouth watering hint of raunchy ravishing red hot cleavage and sexy dazzling come to bed eyes!! Wow! That Dwarf could multi task and entertain!
Dork Higgenbottom.
“I sincerely hope that the grey haired gentleman I saw leaving the Karamea Village Hotel holding hands with The Dwarf has had his shots!!”
DJ Pukeko.
The Dwarf has since signed a contract with a major Film studio to appear in a porno version of “Blow White and The Hairy Dwarf!” It is believed that a well known Karamea identity is to play Blow White!!”
*** Upcoming Event:Inaugural Rongo Easter Chess Classic: Four days of chess, fishing, golf, hiking, sight-seeing, good food, music dancing and deep conversation…stay tuned for details***
One of Rongo guests over Christmas, New Year was Sam Buys Pre-production co-ordinator for Weta Studios owned by Peter Jackson Director of Lord of the Rings, his wife Fran, and Joe Lettee. Responsible for creating the visual assets of a movie including architecture, props and characters. Sam is currently working on Herge’s Tin Tin due for release on Boxing Day 2011. The pirates’ ship, Captain Haddocks whisky bottle and the sea plane are three of the computer generated visual assets that Sam is responsible for creating for the Tin Tin movie.
Sams’ first movie “ Chinese Monks Attack Oranges” was nominated for a Licorice Allsorts Award. A futuristic apocalyptic vision of planet earth in the year 2109 involved Chinese Monks who fought each other with keys instead of swords until some renegade oranges arrived and beat the monks and then rolled off to greater conquests!! Bowing to enormous public pressure Sam produced a second block buster entitled “Ninja Cats” where cats were used by Ninjas as weapons like shirukens. Sam would like to ensure readers with a humane interest that no Ninjas were harmed in the making of this movie!!
A graduate of EIT Film School in Hawkes Bay receiving a certificate in video and electronic media, Sam hopes one day to travel to London to work in visual electronic media and one day run his own film studio. His first movie would be “Seven Samurais.”
Sams’ Oma (grandmother) came out from Holland in the 1950’s and then returned many years later to marry David. Sam first learned how to play chess from his Oma (grandmother) when he was five. Sam’s first game was on a leather board with resin pieces. One of Sam’s favourite chess plays is called the Amsterdam Steeple Chase whereby his rook on the first move can jump over every piece and take the opposition rook. Sam had such a brilliant analytical chess brain at such the tender age of 5 that he won his first game of chess against his grandmother Klaske with a stunning Hungarian Fianchetto utilising the little known Piscatore Variation against Klaske’s Kings Indian Defence. Sam played in the Hawkes Bay Primary School Knock out competition aged 7 winning two games before being knocked out by an attractive young blonde who deliberately diverted his attention with her silly giggling, generous display of cleavage and hair twirling.
Team Sweden: Anna and Marie Hoglund
On New Year’s Eve Team Sweden on the Radio Karamea New Year’s Eve show played In The Jungle by The Moo, Omoch Omigen, Oh Boy by Miss Li, This is the Right World by The Moo and a love song by Mans Zelmerlof “Cara Mia.”
Anna and Marie are from Ostersund in Sweden. Schools they actually attended include Hedenvindsskolan, Vattudalskolan and then Primrose Friskola where Anna studied Music and Marie studied Art. Marie also attended Holafolkhogskola.
Anna learned to play Chess at 18 playing her first game against her room mate Marcus. The result of this game is lost in the mists of time. Marcus then played blind folded allowing Anna to knick his secret stash of chocolate cookies and copy his essay for her mid term internal assessment. Anna got 93% for the same essay that Marcus got 54% for! Anna was lucky to have such a kind loving teacher as Casanovaski Boronksy. Anna also played Marcus father and the result of this game is still the subject a Parliamentary Inquiry! According to Anna her sister Marie is a really easy beat at chess and Supermoo managed a brilliant Ruy Lopez- Petrosian Variation to remove Marie’s Queen after just two moves!
When Mother Team Sweden Majbritt was at Rongo Anna and Marie took their mother to visit Bob the Taniwhia at the Opapara Arch. With her modesty still intact after such a passionate encounter Majbritt then enjoyed one of Rongos famous pot luck dinners.
Team Sweden organised an amazingly successful Pippi Longstocking Dinner party where all the wwoofers dressed up as Pippi with a twist!
Anna and Thomas played DJ Pukeko and Chris from Czechoslovakia in a punishing team game of chess which went right down to the wire. Chris did his utmost to sabotage the game with some bizarre moves right out of Kamikaze Anonymous. Result – DJ Pukeko didn’t keel over from heart failure.
DJ Pukeko
If Anna ruled the world she would ban Hokey Pokey Ice Cream and execute anyone caught eating it!! If Marie ruled the world there would be no borders and people would be able to go where the fuck they wanted to and if anybody wanted to disagree then they can get Hokey Pokeyed!!
Anna – Favourite song Bob Marley Redemption Song
Marie – Anna stole my favourite song!
The Cisco Kid
Russian Rules player of the day for December 30th Cisco is a natural who picked up the game very quickly scoring some spectacular tries . Cisco played rugby at High School in Canada for the Humberside Huskies in the Tier 1 Toronto competition in 2005 his team winning the competition. The Huskies only had 1 try scored against their team all season. Cisco played blind side flanker No.7. Favourite move The Bomb consists of Cisco the No. 7 booting the ball down the field and across the pitch for an extremely fast winger Rose to beat everyone to the ball and score a try.
Being Canadian I grew up playing ice hockey. My last game, the Championship Game! I was playing in the Parkdale Flames. It was a cold night at -35C at Swansea Arena . The game went into quadruple overtime. As I stepped on the ice I knew I wanted to end the game there and then. To make a long story short I called for the puck and put it top shelf where Momma keeps the cookies.
Favourite singer Bob Marley with Redemption Song. 1st LP I ever bought aged 12.
Neighbour Boysie was a Rasta Man. Cisco has a Degree in International Development. Me and a few buddies taught themselves how to play chess when we were in Grade 4 as a revolt against Pokemon.
“Humans to grow need to learn lessons because from the ashes a flower will grow.”
Cisco wears a Mother Mary medallion around his neck as spiritual protection, given to him by his brother Alec and given to Alec by one of his buddies.
Svenja aka DJ Morepork
Svenja escaped from Aschaffenburg, Bavaria, Germany and eluding border guards and young men dressed up as hungry wolves found sanctuary at Rongo. Svenja went to Karl Theodor Von Dalberg Gymnasium, then went to Gutenberg Art School in Frankfurt and then to Fhschwiesbaden Landscape Architecture College . Future ambition to be a National Park Graphic designer for fliers in a National Park in Germany or New Zealand.
Svenja excels at board sports such as surfing, skateboarding and snow boarding. Surfed at Warrington Beach. Climbed the rock on the grove near Collingwood.
Rongo “ ruhig, laul,and laut.” Men should live in Peace with one another!
I’ve climbed a lot of trees – apple and walnuts and if I saw a Hokey Pokey tree I would climb it because it would have strong branches. Everyone should eat Hokey Pokey Ice Cream!!!
New Year’s Eve Pot Luck Dinner
A gregarious gargantuan gourmandising gastronomical gorgeathon was indulged in by the Rongolians and invited ambassadors. Sionara Haren Buchi Bu! Rongo El Pesidente Paul Murray and his secretary and concubine Sanae, The Big man and Mitsuyo , Rajah Timothy the Ambassador for India, Boris Pukekoski Military Attache for Russia, Gerar International Gypsy Ambassador, Brian Cool Dude for Maui, Anna and Marie Cultural Ambassadors for Sweden, Camille French Consul, Leo Procurator Fiscal for Scotland, Supermoo and Rongo guests enjoyed an International Extravaganza!
Auld Lang Syne
The Rongo New year’s Eve Radio Show was kicked off by DJ Crap and featured Sammy G, DJ Morepork, DJ Cucumber, DJ Little Naughty and DJ Duffer, Cisco in the House, Team Sweden, Chocolat, DJ Sausage, DJ Maui, and The Big Man. Each DJ had 20 minutes to play a selection of music and offer some philosophical insights into 2010 and the wider Cosmos!
Dave Roberts after swallowing a whole glass of lemonade for Dutch Courage broadcast the 2010 countdown live on air at 23:59:50
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, what’s next?? 1 Dave!!!! No I’m Dave Man!! Is that you Dave?? No. Dave’s not here man!! No! I’m Dave Man! 1 !!!!!! Happy New Year.
DJ Cucumber
Go for the Doctor
Rongo El Presidente for life Palo Murrio in December 2010 was seriously injured with his right arm taking two slugs whilst fighting off armed robbers trying to raid the wwoofers fridge at Rongo for a midnight snack. Ok!!! The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!! Paul spent 1 week in Christchurch Hospital after injuring his right arm trying to remove his hands to perform the Aussie Haka after he had superglued his hands to his pockets before going to pub on The Big Man’s birthday.
Rongo 2010 Awards
Wwoofer of the Year – Laurent Bassier or was it Zaurent Lassie Barbie??
Famed for his chocolate mousse and his expert managerial skills around Rongo Laurent was an asset to Rongo for almost 6 months . An exceptionally talented chinlone player and an extremely popular wwoofer. Laurent left Rongo amid a few tears to live in a far away Colonial Penal Colony amongst rogues and Alan Bonds and by some miraculous feat the Rongo Pirate Cap’n made it back to France in time for Christmas!
Guest of the Year – Duncan
Duncan’s 40 proof Rimu and Molasses Beer home brewed by Rongo Super Guest Duncan knocked DJ Pukeko off his perch and made many an innocent young lassie easy prey!! Och Aye Ye Canna Beat A Canny Scot!
SuperMoo of the Year
Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Let’s get ready to rumble!! This time hailing from Wharf Road, Karamea in the Red Corner weighing in at 75 lbs (GRRRRRRRRR!!) OK 45 Ibs Arf Arf the one the only undisputed bantamweight champion of the world SuperMOO!!
Trojan Soldier of the Year Award –
The Big ManThe cement that keeps Rongo ticking. The Big Man would love for YOU!! Yes you, I’m talking to you Jimmy!! To shout him a meat pie and a beer!! Luxury!!
DJ of the Year
DJ Jaak from Estonia a highly trained and disciplined assassin with the Estonian Army, Jaak was discharged from the Estonian Army after successfully completing 27 suicide missions into Albania to gather information on supermarket prices for baked beans.
Jaak was assigned the midnight to 7 am shift on Radio Karamea 107.5 FM. Playing a wide electic selection of Heavy Rock, Jaak played to a captive wide awake audience of possums, big bomber moths, moreporks and sleeping guests. Jaak was so popular he had fight off groupies, naughty school girls, Supermoo and Rongo El Presidente tooth and nail. Karamea needs to sustain a much higher standard of naughty school girls and groupies to maintain a reputation as a destination for discerning connoisseurs of fine music and ensure International DJ’s like Jaak are regular visitors to Rongo!!
DickHead of the Year
Dork HiggenBottom or Bottom to his mates. Crimes committed by Dork will be revenged 10 fold on April Fools’ Day, incidentally also his birthday. Dork’s mother in law once sat on his face and now she’s in rehab getting therapy!!
Radio Karamea Song of the Year Lynnyrd Skynnyrd – Sweet Home Alabama
Earthquake of the Year
Either The Big Man in a generous moment let rip or Rongo had a sizeable quake. The jury is still out!!
Kathleen Anderson a completely independent free lance journalist who has never wwoofed at Rongo and Paul denies having ever met, in January 2011 wrote an incisive article on the Rongo initiative The Living In Peace Project.
To read this article and see the vision Paul Murray has for the future please copy this link:
Easter weekend April 22,23,24,25,26 will see Rongo host the Karamea Chess Classic. Four days of trout and Kahawai fishing competitions, Mt. Stormy Climb, BBQ, Blues and Jazz, Opapara Arch sighseeing, tennis and fine cuisine will be the prelude to a chess competiton to decide the Karamea Chess Title. Hosted by Rongo bookings can be arranged by contacting Paul. For an info pack e-mail contact rongo@actrix.co.nz
Early entries Lewis aka DJ Pukeko, Cleveland McKay, Sanae, Leo and John Lodge.
Ist prize The e-mail address of a sweet young lady trapped in a refugee camp in war ravaged Dar Es Salaami whose father has left her US $ 27.5 Million Dollars!!
2nd Prize A brand new mother in law with her tongue surgically removed and her armpits shaved!!
3rd Prize One dozen bottles of Duncan’s home brew. This prize can only be won by a lonely bachelor living next door to a rather naughty school girl!!!
Bye Bye Mimi:
Super Wwoofer Mimi is leaving us after two months to travel the country and spreads the word…Bon Voyage Mimi!
The Rongolian Star
Published by Royal Decree since 1878
Rongo Backpackers, 130 Waverly Street
Karamea, Buller, South Island, New Zealand
Ph: 00 64 3 7826 667
E-mail: rongo@actrix.co.nz
His Royal Highness King Wunbungalung of the African Protectorate of Wakuzimbongo today announced that his government will officially recognise Rongolia as a sovereign state. Reciprocal diplomatic and trade missions will be established to allow the import of computer chips manufactured from stolen oil drums and to allow Rongolia to utilise a non-extradition treaty to deport guests of Dutch extraction or spoilt children of Yankee Imperialist Nation who complain about the prices of Rongo accommodation whilst they put their Gold Cards into punishment overdrive on purchases of Monteiths and Tim Tams.
Rongolian El Presidente for life Palo Murrio has declared a national holiday and feast to celebrate this auspicious occasion.
Big Man’s Birthday:
On Saturday The Big Man celebrated his 47th birthday. All the citizens of Free Rongolia convey their best wishes. Vic wanted to know if there was going to be a beer keg shout! Yeah right Tui!!!
All the people that really matter in Karamea signed a birthday card for The Big Man.
Rain Dance:
Karamea has been caught in the vicious jaws of a severe drought that has seen the Karamea River almost dry up and the Rongo Fire Bath go into summer hibernation. To appease the weather Gods Rongolians performed a rain dance to the song “Africa” by Toto. (Rongo TV: Rongolian Rain Dance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPYn1pLREtk) Rain fell that very day and to celebrate an innocent young virgin was sacrificed at dawn and then spit roasted on the BBQ. To find an innocent young virgin in Karamea was a mission entrusted to former gendarme DJ Pukeko. After many long romantic interviews finally one sweet innocent young lass called Rhubarbara came forth and offered herself to Rongo the God of Peace. (I swear it was Bigga in disguise!!)
SuperMoo the Karamea WonderDog:
SuperMoo is gearing himself up for a hectic festive season of social engagements and public appearances . Fresh from receiving the Karamea Russian Rules “Player of the Day Award” Supermoo will be available for signatures and photos on Christmas Eve. To join SuperMoo on FaceBook go to: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000754641826
Favourite song – “ Me and You and a Dog Named Moo”
Like Lambs To The Slaughter:
On Tuesday at sparrow fart Team Rongolia marched en masse to the LivinginPeace Farm witness the last round up at the Karamea Corral. Five benevolent jujubaiea flavoured volunteers were selected by random methodology (Big and Juicy). To be ritually slaughtered halal. Pointed towards Mecca and dispatched by Vic and Bigga. The Rongo freezer is chocka full of quality protein that will feed the ravenous Mongol Hordes, Vikings, Visigoths, Cossack Warriors, Wild Irish and other guests of a slightly more sophisticated upbringing that will camp out at Rongo during the month of Muharram Ul Haram.
500th Blues Show:
Wednesday night saw Radio Karamea celebrate the 500th Blues Show. DJ Crap AND The Big Man played some cosmic Blues, Jazz, Soul and Gospel as the Rongolians sat around a large inferno in the fire pit!! There was a special live phone in request from the two Jills in Austin, Texas who requested Ben Harper and “Burn One Down”
Pot Luck Dinner:
Thursday night saw a pot luck dinner dedicated to Tim and friends of Rongo; Tim’s mother Joan, sister Faith and Tim’s nephew Sathya from Tamil, Nhaidoo. Special guests included Chris, Leo, Tim’s friend Paul, Supermoo and Rongo guests and wwoofers.
LivinginPeace Project:
The LivinginPeace Project encompasses the Wood Lot, Food Forest and Farm Baches Gardens . The wood lot was weeded and mulched. Growth of trees planted to be utilised for timber and firewood has been spectacular and the wattle trees have doubled in size despite the drought. The Farm Baches Garden Beds were planted with soybeans, peas, cucumber, zucchini, sesame seeds and pumpkin seedlings. Future trials will involve chia, quinoa, and Irish jumping beans. The Food Forest, suffering from a prolonged drought, was weeded and watered.
Thursday night at the Karamea Domain saw a game of Russian Rules Touch Rugby that resembled a cross between the Stanley Cup, WWF, Roller Ball and afternoon tea at Dave Higg’s mother in law’s. Played in boisterous spirits the game saw the PINK TEAM defeat the Blue Team 10-7!!!
According to one knowledgeable commentator the level of argie bargie in the game reflected normal West Coast bonding.
Players of the Day : Game 1 – Cory Higgs. Game 2 – Logan Timoana. Game 3 – SuperMoo the Karamea WonderDog (Never subbed off the whole game and didn’t bark at the ref once!!) Game 4 Tara The Terminator – Disgraced Politician who took out her fury on Karamea’s young sports stars. Game 5 – Matt James. Game 6 – Hazel. Game 7 Brendan James
Super Sub – Dave Roberts – An impact player who came off the sub bench with devastating effect until an old war wound saw him limp off just after the initial warm up.
Russian Rules A Team as selected by DJ Pukeko Referee and Coach
Matt James – captain, Sam Jacquard, Logan Timoana, Cory Higgs, Brendan James, Alex, Stretch, Tjelva,and Frank. Team of 7 and two subs.
Karamea Crime Report:
Karamea was this week horrified to learn that a thief had stolen Old Mother McCreadies bloomers from her clothes line. Heart broken, but determined to appear in public despite not having any frillies to cover her naughty bits, Gertrude has vowed to catch the culprit and make that miscreant vote for in the next Westport Mayoralty election. Let the punishment fit the crime!
Rongo Guests:
Rongos guests are the most amazing group of people you could meet anywhere in the world and apart from particularly the Tulip Munchers and whinging Poms, Rongo has not a single complaint about the superlative service Rongo guests experience in all of 2010.
Endless pot luck breakfasts, Radio Karamea, the Rongo Fire Bath, SuperMoo, the Peace Garden , tropical weather and amazing cuisine has seen Rongo head honcho Paul on his knees politely begging backpackers who have stayed more than three months to leave to allow room for first time visitors. Putting red hot chilli, salsa and Jamaican cayenne pepper in DJ Pukekos panty dropper muffins and playing Val Doonican or Rolf Harris on Radio Karamea has seen a timely exit of overstayers and fresh guests welcomed with open pockets!!
Gurgle your mouthwash loudly. Dress up like a prince or princess. Draw pictures of dinosaurs and imperfect stars. Burn your marshmallow and then burn it again. Get jean pockets tattooed on your ass. Find a button, leave a button. Put an egg in your sock and hatch it. Kiss hard and smile at the same time. Put junk in your trunk and dash. Twist your legs like pretzels. Joker trumps all. Put spoons in the fork slot. Wear face paint instead of makeup. Talk to yourself with blue steel clarity. Laughter is an instrument of joy and we are all musicians.
Dave “Orright then Fred?”
Defenestration could be considered the Eastern European version of witch burning, which was more popular in Western Europe. Suspects were tossed out a window…if they survived the fall (or more the sudden stop at the end of the fall), they were free to go, however, if they died, they were considered to be guilty as charged.The practice gained popularity as an equitable trial system and was soon practiced in France, Belguim, Portugal, Spain, Italy and in Poland, Russian troops defenestrated Chopin’s piano…(in brutal, definite and dramatic forms of musical criticism, no one can shade the Russians!).
The Rongolian Star 