Can International Travel Be Sustainable?

Off the Top of My Head

By Paul Murray
 
(The LivinginPeace Project aims to combine Art/Travel/Permaculture and Education into a Sustainable Business)
 
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The LivinginPeace Project in Karamea at the top of the West Coast of the South Island of New Zealand is striving to mitigate the  environmental cost of international travel to make it a sustainable activity. Given the carbon cost of jet travel, the challenge is no small one.

The LivinginPeace Project offers accommodation to travellers from all over the world at Rongo Backpackers & Gallery and Karamea Farm Baches in the belief that international travel is the best form of self-education available, but not at the expense of the environment.

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Rongo Above

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Since it was founded in 2004, the LivinginPeace Project has initiated a series of innovative ideas to tack the challenge and has made significant progress toward the goal of being a sustainable business. The first step was to purchase an 31-hectare (80-acre) property as a carbon sink. The bush block had been logged for  in the 1960s and many of the largest rimu (red pine) trees were milled for timber. The removal of large trees opened up the forest canopy allowing light to penetrate and this initiated the growth of thousands of new trees.

The Karamea climate is ideal for the rapid growth of trees, there is plentiful sunshine, a high rainfall and the region has deep rich alluvial soil that makes for an excellent growing medium. The forest is regenerating very quickly and each new tree absorbs carbon dioxide, combines it with sunlight to produce wood, locking up the carbon and removing it from the atmosphere.

The forest block is a carbon sink that is utilised by the LivnginPeace Project to offset the carbon emissions produced in the service of the business side of the venture, including taking into account that many guests have travelled to Karamea––which is a remote town in a distant country––from the Northern Hemisphere. The LivinginPeace Project strives to be an environmentally responsible business, which means taking account of every aspect of the business and every environmental impact in an attempt to defray the carbon cost of the venture.

Other initiatives include a permaculture farm, which produces food locally that is then turned into freshly harvested, healthy meals for guests. This minimises the food-mile cost of feeding guests while they are staying in Karamea and presents high-quality meals to LivinginPeace Project customers at a reasonable price. The project is able to produce food at a lower economic cost as well given that there is no transport cost to producing the food, which is grown organically and fertilised with compost also made locally.

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Making compost on the LivinginPeace Project permaculture farm

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LivinginPeace Project Permaculture Farm Manager Dave Tailby tends the spuds

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Australian Wwoofer Matthew Ridgeway weeds the garlic

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From a business perspective, this also makes sense (cents) as the food grown on the farm is value added by turning it into meals and taking it directly to the consumer and avoiding  traditional wholesale/retail marketing costs. For example, a pumpkin could be sold at a farmer’s market for $5 (less transport and marketing costs), but the LivinginPeace Project uses the pumpkin to make 10 bowls of  soup and sells it for $5 per bowl making $50 from the pumpkin (less cooking costs!) and presents guests with a healthy, wholesome and delicious meal for a reasonable price.

Communal meals also enhance the quality of the travel experience by encouraging people to have conversations, share experiences, engage in cross-cultural communication, discuss travel plans etc over the course of the meal. Many a great friendship has developed over dinner at the LivinginPeace Project.

Rongo Feast

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The LivinginPeace Project also offers farm internships in organic food production and presents a Permaculture Design Course every year to share food-production knowledge and organic gardening techniques. Internships on the LivinginPeace Project permaculture farm enable students to apply the theoretical knowledge obtained on the course in a practical way. This  provides travellers with an opportunity to learn valuable skills that can be applied to their lives on return to their respective countries of origin. Students from Germany, Canada, France, Japan, the United States and Australia have studied permaculture at the LivinginPeace Project and many of them have returned home to instigate similar projects of their own.

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Another initiative is to minimise the environmental cost of operating an accommodation business. By offering every 4th night free guests are encouraged to stay longer and be travellers instead of tourists. By staying four nights in the same bed, the environmental cost of cleaning  the room is significantly reduced. The use of cleaning products, labour, laundry water use, laundry drying cost, wear and tear on the laundry equipment etc is reduced by 75% when compared with a one-night stay. The LivinginPeace Project is happy to return a 25% discount to guests who stay four nights and to encourage people to stay longer. It is also a better experience for both the accommodation provider and hopefully the traveller as each gets to know the other a little and better conversations or more substance than “What’s your name?” “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” “Goodbye” interactions with people who only stay one night.

Rongo 4th Night Free

The LivinginPeace Project also offers art classes in conjunction with the project’s artist–in-residency programme. Resident artists have conducted life-drawing, wood-block printing, paper-making, felting, photography and flax-weaving courses. By offering educational opportunities, travellers are provided with a reason to stay four nights and learn new skills during their stay. The educational side of the LivinginPeace Project meshes well with the 4th Night Free policy by encouraging people to stay longer, providing an opportunity to learn new skills and express their creativity and defraying cost of their travel  in the process.

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2009 Resident Artist Ponzi from New York (www.artistponzi.com)

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2011 Resident Artist Shota Kawahara from Japan (www.shotakawahara.com)

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2012 Resident Artist Tzook Marcel Har-Paz from Israel

The LivinginPeace Project has been a Wwoof (World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms, or Willing Workers on Organic Farms (an international volunteer organisation)) host since 2005 and has hosted volunteers from all over the world during that time. Wwoofing is a great means of assisting travellers by offering them a chance to stay longer in one place and to learn new skills by helping out on the farm in return for free accommodation.

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Wooofers (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms)

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Wwoofers (Willing Workers on Organic Farms)

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Wwoofer Yumi from Japan

The LivinginPeace Project also offers a language exchange programme that enables students of English to practice conversing in natural situations. Helping out on the farm and speaking English is an excellent way to practice and build confidence in using the language effectively and improving comprehension. Many Japanese students have taken the opportunity to stay at the LivinginPeace project for a month to improve their English conversation ability.

Language Exchange 1 Language Exchange 2

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Making international travel a sustainable activity is a challenge that the LivinginPeace Project has taken head on and is making significant progress toward achieving. The business has been rated as “Carbon Neutral” since 2009 in an independent audit by Christchurch-based company Carbon South and the venture will continue in its quest for sustainability in business.

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Green Businesses Leading by Example

By Sam Marquit 

As the world becomes more environmentally conscious, various industries are adopting green building techniques and sustainable practices for the greater good. Being a commercial contractor has put me in a position to see this type of progress first-hand. However, what I find really interesting is meeting the people who care enough to do this kind of work, how they are going green, and what sort of positive impact these changes are making.

Various schools across the world are adopting sustainable practices from reusing to gardening to not only improve their carbon footprint, but to also encourage civic engagement and interest in STEM subjects. The Green Ribbon Award from the U.S. Department of Education goes to schools that have eco-friendly standards. Some community centers are doing the same thing with their community members by coming together and forming groups specifically dedicated to environmental initiatives. One example of this is Green America, which has been operating since 1982.

One area where I keep seeing a lot of change is in the hotel industry and it could not have come sooner. Roughly 40,000,000 people travel to Las Vegas alone every year. With hotels everywhere in the city, the amount of waste and emissions this city must put out is overwhelming and that is only the tip of the tourism industry. Thankfully, hotels in Las Vegas and elsewhere are doing what they can to help.

In Las Vegas, the Palazzo is reusing its waste and implementing other green practices. In New York, the ink48 Hotel is modeling its entire business on green practices, though the Palazzo takes the cake as “The Most Eco-Friendly Hotel in America.” Throughout the Marriott hotel chain, visitors will soon start seeing entry cards that are made with corn by-products. The hotel chain purchased 24 million of these cards, which are biodegradable and recyclable. With that one purchase, the chain kept 66 tons of plastic out of landfills.

The Palazzo, Las Vegas

Thanks to these hotels and those like them, awards are being offered for environmentally friendly service. In Asia, “The Wild Asia Responsible Tourism Awards” offer awards to businesses that conserve resources, get involved in their neighborhoods and help protect animal habitats. The “People & Planet Awards” are for businesses that demonstrate eco-friendly practices.

The awards and recognition that come with going green as a business may not be enough to get more businesses on the right track. However, with some industries leading the by example and with social awareness to green causes, both may help bring about a significant increase in green business. I am happy to see businesses doing the right thing and look forward to seeing more.

More from Sam Marquit here: http://fmarquitv.tumblr.com
 

Permaculture eco-tourism

By Sebastian von Holstein

Travel broadens the mind, but comes with a carbon footprint. Sebastian visits an eco-retreat in Goa, India and finds a place that combines simple living, upcycling and green technologies with peace and beauty.

 

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Think Goa and long-haired hippy trance parties on the beach may well come to mind, but the stunning grounds here couldn’t take you further away from the noisy bustle of this westernised area of India. This small parcel of paradise, where a rainbow of colours, sided with handmade cob paths and wooden bridges, is the stage for various exotic birds and butterflies to carry out their dance with the surrounding flora, leaving any viewer in a very different form of trance, to that of the local raves.

 

Nature absolutely co-created this place. YogaMagic, a yoga retreat centre, are serious about doing sustainability properly and this marvellous plot lives up to, and surpasses every expectation in this regard. There is no eco-greenwash here.

Practising permaculture from a tourism perspective

The retreat demonstrates a host of applied permaculture principles. The architecture is a mish-mash of reclaimed Indian antiquity and more recent vernacular design. All structures, whether permanent or seasonal, fit perfectly in their surroundings both in style and in the choice of materials. Other pieces of furniture and furnishings have also been handcrafted locally or reclaimed in the nearby bazaars.

Solar showers are fed from the clean local water supply and all grey water, including urine is redirected towards banana and other exotic fruit trees. There is even a fully functioning humanure waste management system on site, reducing vehicle traffic and the irresponsible disposal of waste that so haunts other parts of Goa’s beaches.

 

The entire outdoor social area is built around a handmade water tower with traditional motifs and pointed windows. The warming presence of a Buddha statue evokes peace to the scene and provides a distraction from the magnificent sloping roof, layered in dried out palm leaves.

On ground level, cob contours mould different levels of seating areas, gently elevated to provide clean views over the untouched local landscape. From here, you mingle the visual feast of the surrounding landscape with the marvellous food on your plate at mealtimes. Everything here is made fresh and totally from scratch, using only the best ingredients.

Traditional Indian mixed with sustainable design

This is low-impact living at its finest. Seven genuine Rhajastani tents dot the landscape, each with a unique block painted pattern and colour scheme (one for each chakra). These are perfectly suited to the climate and prove cool in the day heat and just perfect for a good night’s sleep.

 

An attached dressing room with a day bed nests within the mud cobbled walls and thatched roof. During the day, these become the creative spaces for song writing, guitar sessions and reading. Then we have the Gaudi-esque outdoor bathrooms, where terracotta pots are filled daily from the local water source. One feeds the tap and the other is used for hand bathing using a jug, saving goliath amounts of water and simultaneously freeing up the above view: clusters of eagles flying just 30 metres above.

The star of the show however is the compost toilet. Perhaps a strange thing to get excited about, but unlike the semi-functional examples you might come across elsewhere, these open air composting systems prove immaculate and completely odour free, owing partly to a natural organism spray.

Organic, local, with a respect for ingredients

It is one thing to use high quality ingredients, and quite another to cook up a delectable feast, yet recurring conversations at YogaMagic generally revolve around mealtimes. Guests are frequently reluctant to eat out in the event they might miss out on another splendid meal. Lemon rice, Panneer (home-made curdled cheese) curries, cumin carrots and sweet and sour chutneys are but a taster of the constantly rotating menu.

 

The cooks know and appreciate each ingredient through and through, with the respect for flavours you might only see in some of London’s top restaurants. Fresh herbs, fruit and vegetables are either grown here or kept as natural as possible. Hearty vegetarian meals are phenomenally well balanced and always satisfy.

Desserts are just as mouth-watering, with a varying selection including pineapple turnover, lemon posset and ‘Middle-Eastern’ cake topped with pomegranate. As I hinted, deciding to leave for dinner outside YogaMagic can sometimes be a heartbreaking experience.

Hand-built cow dung yoga temple

Yoga here is not a compulsory part of the daily schedule, however it is near impossible to turn down a session in the aptly named ‘yoga temple’. This impressive structure is made from mud, clay and cow dung. The roof is constructed from fallen coconut trees and ‘tiled’ with rows of palm leaves to keep the worst of the weather out.

 

While safe from the elements, the intimate connection with nature never fades. During morning meditation, the warm air rustles through your hair and the sweet fragrance of Indian flowers settles in your nasal passages, bringing you effortlessly to a state of bliss.

The location is a different world from the usual air-conditioned yoga studio’s you might frequent back at home. Not only this, YogaMagic is also recognized as one of Goa’s best yoga retreats due to its ceaseless attempt to bring in the very best yoga teachers, while giving a wide berth to new-age yoga fads.

Permaculture-Designed Travel

Every element has been taken care of. The entire retreat is impeccably clean, the staff always helpful, flowers bloom and fruit grows all around. This is living proof that sustainability can be stylish, healthy and delicious all in one. Ever wondered what permaculture-designed travel looks like? Look no further…

For more information on YogaMagic eco retreat, visit www.yogamagic.net
 
Sebastian von Holstein is currently travelling through India by train for six months, exploring this amazing sub continent as slowly as possible.
Posted in Agriculture, Art, Business, Economics, Education, Environment, Kahurangi National Park, Karamea, LivinginPeace Project, Money, New Zealand, Peace, Permaculture, Photography, Social Commentary, Sustainablity, Travel, Uncategorized, West Coast | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

An Open Letter to Facebook by Jackie Nickerson

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From: MotherWiseEvidence-Based Parenting, Whole Life Health
 

First I would like to start off by thanking you for creating a wonderful social networking site that brings people together with family, friends, and their community. It helps small businesses grow, and lets us create communities that suit our personal interests. We can spend time relaxing and talking with friends, or sit back and play some mindless games with all the apps you have for us.  We have found truly supportive, loving communities of kindred spirits all over the world through your creation.

However, a few things have been bothering me lately. I don’t know who is running things over there at Facebook headquarters, but to me it seems like a bunch of men who enjoy women, but only on their own terms.  There seems to be a bit of hypocrisy and misogyny all rolled into one, and I do not understand the inconsistent approach you are taking when implementing rules. Let me direct you to your own policy on pornography:

Facebook has a strict policy against the sharing of pornographic content and any explicitly sexual content where a minor is involved. We also impose limitations on the display of nudity. We aspire to respect people’s right to share content of personal importance, whether those are photos of a sculpture like Michelangelo’s David or family photos of a child breastfeeding.”

Now, I do agree with the need to censor pornographic material from a social site that children will see, but here is where the inconsistencies come into play. Below are some screenshots of just a few Facebook pages that you can easily find with a click of a button. As we can see, it seems like the men of Facebook love to celebrate women when it is in a sexual manner that is visually appealing to them.

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These pages have hundreds of thousands of likes and have been up for months. If you scroll through the photo galleries you will find pictures of women completely exposed, pictures of unconsenting women on camera phones that bitter ex-boyfriends send into the page to “Expose These Sluts,” and countless other pictures that clearly violate the terms, but are never removed.

I am a co-owner of a Facebook page that is directed towards moms. We are advocates, and we enjoy what we do. We have a fan base of around 14,000 people right now– it is a place for women to come to get support with breastfeeding, parenting issues, birthing options, and just have a place to connect with like-minded mothers. Today I posted an anatomical drawing of a vulva; something that looks like a page out of an anatomy textbook. It was posted for educational purposes to help women get to know their bodies, learn the proper terms, as a learning tool for their children if need be.  Within 3 hours, the photo was removed and my account that is linked to our page was banned for 30 days.

Here is the so-called “pornographic” image.

"Porn."

“Porn.”

I am wondering why pictures of women stay up if it is visually stimulating to men, but a cartoon drawing that will help women empower themselves and gain knowledge is considered pornographic, and gets removed? I am asking you to please remove the ban from my profile. I do not feel that it violated any terms, and frankly I think you are being completely unreasonable and hypocritical. You should also consider some consistency in your ban policies.  Our community is very familiar with mothers getting banned for posting breastfeeding photos, which you also claim are not against your terms.  It’s another example of sexualized women being acceptable, but women’s anatomical/biological bodies being shamed and censored. At the very least, follow your own rules. Thank you for taking the time to hear me out on this matter.

AUTHOR:Jackie

I am a radical peace preaching hippie, who questions authority, and loves to go against the grain. Compassion, empathy, understanding, and forgiveness are things I feel that are lacking a great deal in most people. Peace and equality is something I am huge on, making the world a better place. Racism, bigotry, and sexism, are a few things I am firmly against. I am a student of health, wellness, and life. I am an advocate for social justice, and peace in all forms. I am a lover of art, music, writing, and all things inspiring. I am a activist by nature (lactavist & Intactivist) In the past 3 years I have done a lot of personal growth, and I am very comfortable and loving the person I have become–I think self love is a big thing that more people should embrace, and I am not a fan of shaming of anyone for any reason. Equality, and compassion are things I love to see in people.

Posted in Children, Education, Erotica, Media, Photography, Product review, Sex, Social Commentary, United States | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape # 21


A New Zealand Government Department authorised by a covertly suspicious and deliberately rhetorical Act of Parliament and compounded by a tacitly implied Royal Approval to receive Official Complaints.
 

Office Manager: Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer:     Andrea Bjornstrand

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Office Receptionist: Miss Sweden

Junior Office Bimbo: Miss Venezuela

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Tea Trollop: Mimi La Chocolat

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Office Sheep: Baa Baa

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Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office

Market Cross, Karamea

Monday May 6th 1030hrs!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Welcome to the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape good sir!

Sir Richardhead:    Aaa aaa greetings humble wench!!!

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Andrea Bjornstrand:    Pardon me but you appear a little out of breath!

Sir Richardhead:    Indeed I got completely yogenberrried on Saturday prior to a jousing fest!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    It may be an optical illusion but you appear to have no head between your shoulders!

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Sir Richardhead:    Sir Roberto the Magnificent decapitated my good self in a sword fight!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    And you have been running around like a headless chook since???

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Sir Richardhead:    On the contrary generous breasted maid!!  Went to matins at chapel on Sunday morn!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Was the congregation surprised???

Sir Richardhead:    No they were of the opinion that I am the second coming of John the Baptist!! Still had a dreadful hangover!!

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Andrea Bjornstrand:    Mmmm!! Perhaps you should join Alcoholics Anonymous and make a vow to quit drinking while you are a head!!!

Sir Richardhead:    Sacrilege!!!

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Andrea Bjornstrand:    So you got legless and and headless in short order!!!

Sir Richardhead:    A foul imposter in the interests of equanimity then decided to shove my head up my rectum!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Ouch!!!

Sir Richardhead:    Indeed!!! I did not know that I had such appalling haemorrhoids!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Mmm!! Sounds like you should consult a doctor!!!

Miss Sweden:     Excuse me but I could not help noticing that your cockpit is wide open and you appear to have been completely castrated!!

Sir Richardhead:    Sir Galahad!!!  The recalcitrant!!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Another jousting foe!!!

 

Sir Richardhead:    No!!! My bank manager!!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    So you here to make a complaint???

Sir Richardhead:    Perchance regarding what???

Andrea Bjornstrand:    The weather today cause for complaint???

Sir Richardhead:    Yes why not???

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Andrea Bjornstrand:    An official complaint???

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Sir Richardhead:    Yes of course!!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Mmmm!!! Let me consult the Office Manual. Here we go!! Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Official Complaint 911 “ Completely headless knight wishes to record extremely serious complaint regarding Karamea’s weather!!!!” The exact nature of your complaint???

Sir Richardhead:    Well aaaaghh aaaghhh???

Andrea Bjornstrand:    That dark shaped ominous cloud up there??? The one shaped like the Grim Reaper!!!

Sir Richardhead:    Yes by gad!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    How would you describe yon cloud??? Provocative???

Sir Richardhead:    No!!!

 

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Seductive????

Sir Richardhead:    Yes!!! By gad yes!!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Excellent!!!! Let me find an official complaint form!!!

Sir Richardhead:    Fee my good mistress???

Andrea Bjornstrand:    One thousand gold crowns including Imperial War Tax!!!

Sir Richardhead:    Can I record a debt on the strength of my knightly honour and valour??

 

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Normal departmental policy is small denomination unmarked bills with no sequential serial numbers???

Sir Richardhead:    Do I get an official  receipt???

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Are you serious????

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Sir Richardhead:    Aaaaghhh!!! I’m getting a phantom migraine!!!

Andrea Bjornstrand:    I’ll get Miss Venezuela our junior office bimbo to give you a full medical!!!

 

Sir Richardhead:    Is she a trained nurse????

Andrea Bjornstrand:    Of  course she is an expert and experienced body the rapist!!!

Miss Venezuela:    You look awful!!!

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Sir Richardhead:    But I feel great!!!

 

Miss Venezuela:    Mmmm!!! Let me consult my nursing manual!!! Mmmm 7a Look good, feel good..no… 7b Look awful… feel awful…no…  ah… here we go ….  7e Look awful …feel great… you… you’re ..a.. vagina!!!

Sir Richardhead    :    Can I get a second opinion????

Richard Branson Celebrates Virgin Airlines Inaugural Flight To Vegas

Baa Baa:    Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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KABOOM!!!

Mimi La Chocolat!!!:    Great shot boss!!! Right through the right ventricle , dissected the aorta and neatly severed his spinal column!!! A new departmental record!!!

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Sir Richardhead:    Excuse me!!!!

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Red Scarlett:     I beg your pardon but you are supposed to be dead!!!!

Sir Richardhead:    Many apologies but I didn’t realise!!!! Aaaaaghh……………

 

Red Scarlett:    Pull yourself together my good man, a valiant knight dies like a hero!!!!

Sir Richardhead:    Aaaa aaaaaa………….

Richard Branson Celebrates Virgin Airlines Inaugural Flight To Vegas

Red Scarlett:    Any last requests???

Sir Richardhead:    ..a… a…a….

Mimi La Chocolat:     A cup of tea????

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tumblr_m0fgs7vIUM1r5xwvf Virgin Chairman Branson carries a cheerleader during a ceremony to mark the delivery of the first Boeing 777-300ER for his new airline V Australia, in Seattle


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Posted in Art, Business, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Karamea, New Zealand, Parody, Photography, Politics, Satire, Sex, Social Commentary, Weird | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Rongolian Star Quiz No. 3

Question 1

Who was without question Australia’s greatest cricketing batsman?

Clue : He was known as “The Don”

a. Don Corleone

 

b. Don Juan

c. Don Trump

 

d. Don Duck

Question 2

Kim Dotcom was German champion of which athletic sport in 2010?

a. Pole dancing

b. Irish sky diving
c. Hacky sacky


d. Twister

Question 3

You are out fishing on your new cruiser when your vituperous mother in law accidentally trips over your quickly extended right foot and falls overboard. She is unfortunately, immediately chomped by a great white shark. Do you:

 

a. Pour your self the best tasting beer of your entire life?

 

b. Wish you had been wearing your 3-D contact lenses?
c. Quickly clip on your snazziest shark lure and frantically cast into the burley?
d. Throw the wife in to save her?

 

 

Question 4

 

Who is Australia’s greatest sporting hero of all time?

a. Hayden Haitana

b. John Hopoate


c. Phar Lap


d.Trevor Chappell

Clue : Born and bred in New Zealand, deported to Australia and was heavily involved in the racing industry.

Question 5

A flaming asteroid half the size of your mother in laws jaw bone is travelling at Mach 23 towards Karamea. ETA about 5 minutes!!!! Do you:

a. Run to pub?

 

b. Run from pub in a moment of blind panic when you realise it is your shout?

c. Run back to pub when you realise you were drinking alone?


d. You are a confirmed teetotaller so you pour yourself a large schooner of tea, shaken not stirred, what the heck make it a double, a slice of lemon, couple of ice cubes, put in your char one of those silly cocktail umbrellas, splash of dry ginger ale and scull!!! Burp!! Didn’t touch the sides and so you…KABOOM!

 

 

 

 

Posted in Education, Funny, Hilarious, Historical, Humor, Humour, Karamea, New Zealand, Parody, Satire, Social Commentary, Sport, West Coast | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What if Wordsmiths had SmartPhones and Tweeted….

Ten Famous Autocorrected Quotes

(From the DimWit Diary: http://thedimwitdiary.com)
 

Suppose a young man with a wild imagination and too much time on his hands went to a greasy spoon diner one evening at 3 AM.   Suppose the same young man grew tired of all the belligerent drunks and lot lizards that usually frequent a greasy spoon diner late at night, so he began to surf the interwebs on his smart phone to occupy his time until his gyro omelette and rye toast were ready to be served.

Suppose that while killing time surfing the interwebs, the young man came across some famous quotes and later stumbled upon the humorous website, Damn You Autocorrect.  Now suppose the imaginative young man with too much time on his hands got to thinking:

“What if all the famous authors, poets, artists, philosophers, and great leaders of history had to use a smart phone to type their inspiring quotes?  Would their quotes sound any less smart?  Would they be any less inspiring?  What would the quotes read like if these great historical figures had to put down their pen and paper, and use the same means of communication that we use today – texting, tweeting, emailing, and other forms of social media?  What if the famous quotes were subject to autocorrect?”

Suppose the young man’s thoughts were to materialize.  I suppose you would get something like this.  Ten famous quotes given the autocorrect treatment.

001 Dalai Lama

003 Helen Keller

002 William Shakespeare

004 Mark Twain

008 William Shakespeare 2

007 Eleanor Roosevelt

005 Thomas Jefferson

009 Oscar Wilde

006 Mother Theresa

010 Martin Luther King Jr

My God.   What have we done.  Modern devices and social media are destroying our love shaft.  Our language!  Destroying r language!

What are some of your favorite famous quotes?  Leave them in the comments section below (140 characters or less, JK).  I’m a big fan of paying homage to the greats and I would love to hear them if you wouldn’t mind sharing.  Much obliged.

Posted in Art, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Media, Quotes, Social Commentary | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Globalisation: A Practical Definition

What is  Globalisation?

Example:
Princess Diana’s death

An
English princess

with an
Egyptian boyfriend

crashes
in a French tunnel,

riding in a

German
car

with a
Dutch engine,

driven
by a Belgian

who was
drunk

on
Scottish whisky,

followed closely by

Italian Paparazzi,

on
Japanese motorcycles,

treated
by an American doctor,

using

Brazilian medicines.

This blog is by

  an Australian living in

New Zealand

using

American
Bill Gates’ technology,

and
you’re probably reading
this on your computer,

that
uses Taiwanese chips,

and

Korean monitor, assembled

by

Bangladeshi workers

in a Singapore plant,

transported by Indian truck drivers…..



Posted in Art, Australia, Banking, Business, Economics, Education, Environment, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Japan, Media, Money, New Zealand, Parody, Photography, Satire, Social Commentary, West Coast | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Martha Stewart Talks Gardening with Tom Waits

STEWART: Tom, it’s a delight to visit you in your garden. Let’s have a look at your—wait, what’s that sound?

WAITS: My old mutt Sullivan. Other week he drank some funny creek water downstream of the hydrofrack. Been breathin’ like a box bellows ever since. Don’t pay him no mind.

STEWART: Oh, the poor thing. Now, let’s have a look at your sunflowers. They’ve … not done well.

WAITS: Sunflowers don’t grow right in this sun. At least mine didn’t—came up and fell down, like a dray mule with rickets.

STEWART: And all your hydrangeas are dead.

WAITS: I’m the killer, Martha, but you’re the one who’s done time.

STEWART: Oh, but I put that time to such good use, Tom! Making comfy shawls and a gorgeous Nativity crèche with just the materials I had at hand! It’s a lot like the wonderful music you make with your junkyard instruments.

WAITS: Did your cell have one of those floor drains? Peeing against perforated metal is its own kinda music.

STEWART: [ignoring him]: Now, Tom, you need to put in some trellises here. Your sweet peas are getting away from you.

WAITS: Shoot, Martha, my sweet pea got away from me in ’68. At the bowling lanes on the borderline where Chula Vista becomes National City. [Mournfully] She was only 16 and smelled of damp crinoline and cheeseburger fumes.

 From Vanity Fair: www.vanityfair.com
Posted in Agriculture, Art, Education, Environment, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Media, Social Commentary, United States | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

ANZAC Day 2013

2013 ANZAC Message from N.Z. Governor General Sir Jerry Mateparae

Sir-Jerry-Mateparae_cool-kiwi-single-hero

N.Z. Governor General Sir Jerry Mateparae

On the 25th of April we mark ANZAC Day. As the first light breaks, we remember a pivotal day in our nation’s history when New Zealanders landed at Gallipoli in 1915 as part of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. The Anzacs showed courage, comradeship and compassion and distinguished themselves as soldiers.

We remember our close comrades, the Australians. Sharing ANZAC Dy means we look across the Tasman in a spirit of mateship and shares sacrifice, just as our soldiers did almost a century ago. And we remember also the Turks, our respected enemy.Next year will see the start of centenary commemorations to mark the First World War. While we may re-evaluate the meaning of the war for us today, we will always remember the men and women who have served New Zealand.

As we gather at our commemorative events and hear the Last Post played, we recall those who made the supreme sacrifice and recommit ourselves to the solemn pledge to never forget their service and to always remember them.

ANZAC Day: Oath of Remembrance

They shall grow not old, 
As we that are left grow old, 
Age shall not weary them, 
Nor the years condemn. 
At the going down of the sun, 
And in the morning 
We will remember them.
 

 

Lest We Forget

Taps!

Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the sky
All is well, safely rest
God is nigh.
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar, drawing near
Falls the night.
Thanks and praise for our days
Neath the sun, neath the stars, neath the sky
As we go, this we know
God is nigh.

In Flanders Fields

By Lieutenant Colonel John McRae MD (1872-1918) Canadian Army 

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow 
Between the crosses row on row, 
That mark our place; and in the sky 
The larks, still bravely singing, fly 
Scarce heard amid the guns below. 

We are the Dead. Short days ago 
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, 
Loved and were loved, and now we lie 
In Flanders fields. 

Take up our quarrel with the foe: 
To you from failing hands we throw 
The torch; be yours to hold it high. 
If ye break faith with us who die 
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow 
In Flanders fields. 

 

Army recruits from all over Australia (including my grandfather Charles Alan Ralph Murray (17)) assemble in Albany Western Australia to board ships bound for the warfront in the Middle East and Northern Africa.

Two-Up: ANZAC Day Tradition

Two-up is a traditional Australian gambling game, involving a designated ‘Spinner’ throwing two or three coins into the air. Players gamble on whether the coins will fall with both (obverse) heads up, both (reverse) tails up, or with one coin a head, and one a tail (known as ‘Odds’). It is traditionally played on ANZAC Day in pubs and clubs throughout Australia, in part to mark a shared experience with Diggers through the ages.

 

History Making: Swans & Saints Clash in Wellington 

1st Ever AFL Premiership Points Game Played Outside Australia

On April 25 2013, the St Kilda Football Club will become the first AFL Club to play for AFL Premiership points outside of Australia when it takes on the Sydney Swans.

In a history making agreement between St Kilda FC, the AFL and Wellington City Council, the Saints will play in New Zealand on ANZAC Day in 2013, as part of a longer term commitment to play further home matches in Wellington.

St Kilda FC, a foundation Club of the AFL, will celebrate its 140th anniversary in 2013 and this ground breaking game demonstrates the Saints commitment to being at the forefront of developing the sport internationally.

AFL is a fast paced, high scoring contact sport requiring a large amount of skill, which will certainly appeal to all New Zealanders.

Anzac Day, April 25th 2013

ANZAC Day is historically and culturally significant to both countries and it seems appropriate to hold the first ever AFL match in New Zealand on this day.

The game will be played at Wellington’s world-class Westpac Stadium at 7.40PM local time and will be broadcast live into Australia against the Sydney Swans at 7.40PM Australian eastern standard time.

Australians and New Zealanders share a passion for sport and have a healthy Trans-Tasman rivalry, particularly when it comes to rugby union, rugby league and cricket.

Introduction to AFL

AFL is a fast paced, high scoring contact sport requiring a blend of speed, power, strength and skill, which will certainly appeal toall New Zealanders. It is the most watched sport on Australian television with its popularity extending to people from all walks of life and ages.

While it’s popularity in Australia is immense – it can be a difficult game to explain to those new to it, far better to show you!

Posted in Australia, Education, Historical, LivinginPeace Project, New Zealand, Obituary, Peace, Social Commentary, War | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How to build a bath tub worm bin

A great how to guide on building a worm farm in an old bath tub

PermaVerde's avatarpermaverde

Be sure to read my post about Composting with Worms. With a little extra time and effort, you can build this bin basically for free if you have all the proper resources.

12 EASY Steps to Building a Bathtub Worm Farm!

Preparation: 24 hours for sealants to dry properly
Building: 2 hours
Cost: $44.99
Skill Level: Moderately Easy

Tools you will need:

I am a hand tool sort of guy. There is nothing like putting your own energy into any job that you need to get done. If you would prefer to use a skill saw, go right ahead!

The cable saw uses friction to cut through the the PVC like butter. I prefer the cable saw, but you can use the PVC pipe cutter instead.

A flat bar can make the job really easy when trying to remove nails from salvaged wood.

Materials you will need:

I called…

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Sex & Humour Sells: Satire and Innuendo in Advertising

 

2. Sexy Camera: Soap

Sexy Camera is new hidden camera show. (Italy)

3. Volvo: We’re Just As Excited As You

 

4. Burn: Are You Bad Enough?

hint: kcuL

hint: skooB

hint: kcuD (Switzerland)

5. Hunkemöller Lingerie Store: String Seat Cover

String seat covers where distributed on bicycles in Amsterdam to communicate a sale period at Hunkemöller lingerie store.  (Holland)

6. Capriccio. Ladies Hairdresser

 

7. Playboy: The Hot Ana Paula

(Brazil)

8. Breast Cancer Awareness Mouse Pad

English translation: “Frequent massaging breasts enables you detect breast cancer before it strikes”. (China)

9. Axe. Turns Nice Girls Naughty

These stickers were placed in the main discotheque’s bathrooms in Montevideo. (Uruguay)

10. Superette: Short shorts at Superette

DDB Auckland ads were placed on the virgin thighs that are exposed in this latest trend, by putting indented plates across the inner city and fashion district bus stops, mall seats and park benches, so that when people sat down the message was imprinted on their thighs. This meant that as well as having branded seats, a veritable army of free media was created for Superette, with thousands of imprints being created and lasting up to an hour. Plus, by the nature of where the ads were placed, only the hippest young cats were seen advocating the brand. (New Zealand)

11.Lubricant Advertisement

 

12. Chantelle Push-Up

(Belgium)

13. New Stuff for Gays

(Germany)

14. Veet Bikini Kit

“This summer put stubble trouble behind you.” (England)

15. The Sooner You Advertise Here, the Better

Interbest and Y&R Amsterdam used an overweight male stripper to build awareness of their billboard visibility. The start of a series – the guy keeps stripping until an advertiser buys the space to save everyone. (Holland)

16. Are You Obsessed With the Right Things?

A lot of women are probably more obsessed with a pimple, bad hair or their butt than they are concerned about breast cancer. In order to raise breast cancer awareness, Breast Cancer Foundation in Singapore creatively used body art to ask women if they were “obsessed with the right things?” (Singapore)

17. Durex Performa. Last Longer

(New Zealand)

18. Erotic Cinema Festival in Barcelona

 

19. Victoria’s Secret

Reveal secret. (Uniter States)

20. Use a Condom

(Sweden)

21. HIV & AIDS Awareness Advertisement

 

22. Jobsintown.de: The Ass-Kisser Project

“There are better ways to make career.” (Germany)

23. Lovemachine Condoms

“Give longer. Take longer.” (Germany)

24. Szexplaza.com: Pyjama

 

25. Gillette: Fur Fur Away Towels

Only 12% of women like men with body hair and 71,6 % of men prefer a shaved bikini zone. Gillette wanted to bring the topic of body shaving to the attention of men and women. The idea is the world’s first bath towel with holes in areas where you would usually find body hair. Results and Effectiveness: Thousands of bath towels were stolen at the start of the summer season. (Germany)

26. Absolut Vodka

 

27 TMF Travel: Push-Up Posters

TMF Travel organises party trips for 16-24 years olds to top party destinations around Europe. To get some extra attention for their latest promotion, they created a unique wild poster campaign: one normal poster of a guy is surrounded by five close-ups of bikinis… in Push-up style. (Belgium)

28. Repromed: Don’t Waste Your Sperm

Jamshop has created a cheeky DM piece to complement their existing national print and online campaign in an effort to recruit sperm donors for Repromed, Australia’s leading infertility clinic. Unsuspecting potential candidates received the popular men’s magazine FHM, only to discover that some pages appeared stuck together. Blokes were lured into pulling the sticky pages apart, revealing a full page pic of an attractive lingerie model and a message. An interactive website linking back to Repromed challenged the men to see if they had the “goods” to become an eligible sperm donor. (Australia)

29. Ismet Dural Circumciser: Tear off phone-number

Ismet Dural is a circumsicer who owns a clinic. (Turkey)

Ziegler

Woolstudio: Dominatrix
Woolstudio

Wonderbra: Cook
Wonderbra

White night: Chocolate condoms
White Night

Viva TV: Jenn
Viva TV

Titus: Second Job
Titus

Termix Club: Team photo
Termix Club

Target maternity bras: Cranes
Target Maternity Bras

The Swiss Federal Office of Public Health: Aids awareness, Hockey
Swiss Federal Office

Suraksha Mudra: Jeans
Suraksha Mudra

Sundek beachwear: Girl
Sundek

Suede: Killer
Suede

Sisley: Transparent Clothes
Sisley

Sisley Nothing
Sisley Nothing

Plate-Forme Prévention SIDA: Car
Sida

Semos: Lessons
Semos

Prockey Pen: Bikini Black
Prockey Pen

Playboy: Peta
Playboy

Playboy: Hot teacher
Playboy Hot

Meltin’ Pot jeans: Bed
Meltin Pot 2

Meltin’Pot: 001 Step to an exciting job
Meltin Pot

Matchbox: Blonde girl
Matchbox

Mambo: 0%
Mambo

Lynx deodorant: Baja
Lynx

Luciano Carvari: Flora Amore
Luciano Carvari

Lorgan’s The Retro Store: Dining room
Lorgan

London Fog: Gisele Bündchen
London Fog

Lego: Sex
Lego

Lebenslust Lümmeltüten/Beate Uhse: Sitting
Lebenslust

K-Lynn Lingerie: Bra
K Lynn Lingerie

jbs mens underwear: Nurse
jbs Mens Underwear

Ipanema Gisele Bundchen Sandals: Tattoo
Ipanema

Imedeen Tan Optimizer: Bra
Imedeen

Fowin: Eggplant
Fowin

Ferrino Sleeping Bags: Butterfly
Ferrino

Equinox Fitness: Nuns
Equinox Fitness

E45: Arms
E45

Downy: Naturally soft
Downy

Dim Paris Lingerie: Dim girls
Dim

DDB: Calendar
DDB

Club Cola: Sunshine Asses
Club Cola

Ché Magazine: Playgirl
Che Magazine

Bynolyt Binoculars: Eskimo
Bynolyt Binoculars

Bozzano Foot Deodorant: Escape
Bozzano

Masterfoods Bounty Chocolate: Ball
Bounty

PETA: Boss Models
Boss Models

Blush Lingerie: Stimulation
Blush Lingerie

Billy Boy: Strawberry
Billy Boy

Axe: Shaved
Axe2

Axe Shower Gel: Milk shake
Axe

ARPA: Panther
Arpa

Aquafresh Whitening Toothpaste: Sun
Aqua Fresh

Aniela: Bra
Aniela

Vitasnella: Hanger
Vitasnella

Parafernalia: Fireman
Prafernalia

Pepsi Raw: In the raw
Pepsi

Old Khaki Clothing: Four
Khaki

Hans Wagner Butcher’s Shop: Supermarket
Hans Wagner

Condomshop.ch: Fire brigade
Condomshop

Layconsa highlighter: Topless
Layconsa

Deleye: Guy
Deleye

Luxembourg Government: Human Trading
Luxembourg Government

Levis Red Tab Jeans: Hanging
Levis Red Tab Jeans

L’effet pei: Girl
Leffet Pei

Hansaplast Long Pleasure Condoms: Blonde
Hansaplast

Fayreform Lingerie: Work Your Curves
Fayreform Lingerie

Adanac Glass: Invisible showers
Adanac Glass

Fresh Life Snack Pack: Egg
Fresh Life Snack Pack

Pantene: Blond
Pantene

Posted in Advertising, Art, Business, Economics, Erotica, Fashion, Funny, Hilarious, Historical, Humor, Humour, Media, Money, New Zealand, Photography, Product review, Sex, Social Commentary, Uncategorized, Weird | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments