Karamea Ministry of Red Tape #19

A New Zealand Government Department authorised by a covertly suspicious and deliberately ambiguous Act of Parliament and compounded by a tacitly implied Royal Approval to receive official complaints.

 

Office Manager:    Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer:    Antony Visigoth

 

Office Receptionist:     Alessandra Sharkarov

Tea Strumpett:     Delicious La Humba Bumba!!!!

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Front Office, Market Cross:

Monday March 4 th 9:30 a.m.

 

Alessandra Sharkarov:       Welcome to the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape

Nero Ceaser:    A burp!

Antony Visigoth:   Narzdrovia comrade!

Nero Ceaser:   A grazi! I wish to make a complaint regarding the Rongo Friday night a Gourmet Club dinner!!!

Antony Visigoth:   The cuisine??

 

Nero Ceaser:   Superba!!!

Antony Visigoth:   The wine???

 

Nero Ceaser:   Magnificento!!!

Antony Visigoth:   The repartee???

 

Nero Ceaser:   Intellectual profundito!!!

Antony Visigoth:   Pray tell what troubles neither the palate nor the mind???

Nero Ceaser:   I was served a vegetarian meal and I am a baptised a cannibal!!!

Antony Visigoth:   Is cannabalism a religion???

Nero Ceaser:   More a philosophy, a primordial necessity and a personal statement! Comprendo???

Alessandra Sharkarov:   Wow! Can anyone be inducted into your clique?

Nero Ceaser:   Si! You must give up a muesli and jam scones and rededicate your life!

Alessandra Sharkarov:   Oooh! Can I join???

Nero Ceaser:   Slurp!!! Of a course!!! What is that a photo on the wall???

Antony Visigoth:    That is the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape calendar girl of the month!!

Nero Ceaser:   Why is she covered in a whipped cream and a strawberry jam??

Antony Visigoth:   I did that with some twink and a red felt pen!

Nero Ceaser:   Fuck, it’s a my mama!!!

Antony Visigoth:   Mmmm! I can see the similarity! She is fat, balding and got sagging man’s breasts!!!

Nero Ceaser:   I beg you’re a fucking pardon!!!

Antony Visigoth:   What…are you hard of hearing??

Nero Ceaser:   Well actually a yes I am!!!

Antony Visigoth:   WHY ARE YOU SO DEAF!!!

Nero Ceaser:    When your bruncha a rudely and incessantly screams at you for a mercy it’s a ear shattering!!!

Antony Visigoth:    I see!

Nero Ceaser:   You a prick, you have a drawn a rather large banana in a rather suggestive and a rather provocative fashion in a my mama’s mouth.

Antony Visigoth:    Too right your mother’s a slut!!

 

Nero Ceaser:    Santa Maria!!! You have turned a my mama into a gastronomical trollopa!!!

 

Antony Visigoth:    Indeed serious cause for complaint!!!!

Nero Ceaser:     Complaina!! I should a kick your butt!!!

Antony Visigoth:   Oh, I don’t smoke!!!

Nero Ceaser:     A ha fucking ha!!!

Red Scarlett:    Pardon me what is all the commotion in the front office!!!

Nero Ceaser:    You’re a staff member is totally out of control!!!

Antony Visigoth:       Oh really? Is my fly open again???

Nero Ceaser:     Can someone transcribe my complaint???

Antony Visigoth:    Indeed! Here we go! Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Official Complaint 171/5:  “Circumferentially challenged, defollicled cannabalistic sub humanoid dago wishes to make frivolous complaint regarding the complete lack of moral fibre of his portentious mother!!!

Nero Ceaser:   How a much lira??

Antony Visigoth:    Including Imperial War Tax, $5,000 dollars.

Nero Ceaser:     You take a my personal cheque???

Antony Visigoth:    Is the Pope gay???

Nero Ceaser:    That is an incriminating a question and in the absence of a legal representation I a pleading the 5th!!!

 Red Scarlett:    Cash only, small unmarked bills. No roubles or pesos!!!!

Nero Ceaser:     I a believe this office is a fraud and I am going to ring the PM!!!

Red Scarlett:    Ok, you can use the phone in the office mortuary!!!

Nero Ceaser:     Mortuary???

Red Scarlett:   I meant butchery chamber!!!

Red Scarlett:   (Whisper) (Use my Smith and Wesson .38 from the office armoury and make it quick and make it clean!!)

 

Antony Visigoth:   (Whisper) (Gotcha boss!!!)

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Execution and Torture Chamber

Nero Ceaser:   What a day is it today???

Antony Visigoth:   For you!!! Judgement Day!!!

 

Nero Ceaser:   Scuzi!!!

Antony Visigoth:   Look I am rather busy. I only have time for one more question!!!

Nero Ceaser:   Why are there a dissecting table and a toasty pie machine in you’re a office butchery???

Kaboom!!!

Antony Visigoth:   Sucker!!! I didn’t say I time for another answer!!!

Red Scarlett:     Shize strasse!!! The richochet has set off the sprinklers and the burglar alarm!!!

 

Antony Visigoth:   Panic!!!

Red Scarlett:     Stay cool!!! Right!!! Quick!!! Race to the staff cafeteria as fast as you can!!! It’s time for a cup of tea!!!

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Staff Cafeteria

Delicious La Humba Bumba:   Cup of tea??

Antony Visigoth:    Too right sheila!! Had a busy morning!!!

Delicious La Humba Bumba:     Milk???

Antony Visigoth:   Yes please!!!

Delicious La Humba Bumba:     Sugar???

 

Antony Visigoth:    Mmm!! Rather!!!

 

Posted in Art, Business, Economics, Funny, Hilarious, Historical, Humor, Humour, Kahurangi National Park, Karamea, LivinginPeace Project, Media, Money, New Zealand, Parody, Photography, Politics, Religion, Satire, Sex, Social Commentary, Weird, West Coast | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Day “Dean Buchanan” Came to Town

Off the Top of My Head

By Paul Murray
 

Would the real Dean Buchanan please stand up?

If you see this guy, he’s not Dean Buchanan…

Dean Buchanan

Not Dean Buchanan (left)

In the summer of 2006, a guy claiming to be Auckland artist Dean Buchanan arrived in Karamea and asked to stay with us at the LivinginPeace Project. His line was that he was overwhelmed by media attention and had decided to escape the limelight for a while to concentrate on his artwork out of the public eye. He also had an artwork to deliver to Shania Twain and was on his way to Wanaka to meet her and deliver the painting, which she had apparently agreed to purchase for $NZ17,000.

As the founder of the LivinginPeace Project, which incorporates art, travel, permaculture and education into a sustainable business, I was delighted with the opportunity to host such a successful and well-established artist as one of the principle objectives of the LivinginPeace Project is to assist artists and foster creative pursuit.

I offered “Dean” a quiet, peaceful cabin on our permaculture farm so that he could live and work without interruption. The cabin has no phone, Internet or other distraction and he said it was exactly what he was looking for and thanked me profusely for the opportunity. I gave him a very reasonable rental rate and looked forward to getting to know him and seeing what came out of the arrangement artistically.

I have to establish clearly that “Dean” was a very nice person, extremely amicable, had a great sense of humour, and was always eager to help on the farm and with the business…it was pleasant to host him and he was a very low-maintenance guest…the only problem is that he wasn’t Dean Buchanan.

He was driving an old Toyota truck that was loaded with artworks of all descriptions, including the 3mx2m abstract landscape that was scheduled for the wall  of Twain’s Motatapu Station property near Wanaka on the South Island of New Zealand. The painting was superb, a rugged landscape in warm colours on hessian featuring New Zealand forest…”Dean” allowed us to display it on the wall at Rongo Backpackers & Gallery until it was time for him to deliver it to Twain…again, I was delighted to have such a beautiful artwork on loan in our gallery.

Shania Twain’s Motatapu Station Homestead

Real Shania Twain

A similar, slightly newer version of “Dean’s” truck

After about a week, I noticed that “Dean” hadn’t really been doing much in terms of painting and my spidey sense began to tingle a little. I did some research on Dean Buchanan and his artwork and the available photos at that time were insufficient for me to definitively determine that “Dean” was not Dean. Both Deans were around the same age, had similar facial features and the information I was able to track down online was in line with what “Dean” had told me, so I decided to accept his story and allow him to stay on. I accepted that his lack of productivity was in line with his stated need for peace and quiet and rest to recover from an intensively creative phase of his career and the associated media attention.

After two weeks, I asked for payment for his accommodation and my intuition proved to be correct…”Dean” didn’t have any money! He then wanted to work for accommodation, or give me some artworks from his van in lieu of payment…my response was then as it is now…”I can’t pay my bills with paintings mate,” “Pay up,  and honour our agreement, or move on.”

Several months later, the real Dean Buchanan called and filled in the details. Apparently, “Dean” was an impostor who had stolen his identity along with many of his artworks and was travelling around selling them to finance his life.

I called the real Dean Buchanan at his studio in Auckland to get an update on proceedings and apparently the identity/art thief is still on the lam.

Buchanan said the impostor’s real name was “Ian something, but he also goes by Gunny Huckleberry.” He added “Last I heard, he was in Napier smoking “P” and whoring it up in my name.”

Identity theft is becoming a popular form of fraud these days and “Gunny Huckleberry” has cost Dean Buchanan thousands of dollars in damaged reputation, character defamation as well as the theft of his physical and intellectual property.

To see the awesome artworks of the real Dean Buchanan visit his Web site:

www.deanbuchanan.co.nz

On a positive note, we now offer the cabin on our permaculture farm to aspiring artist’s as part of the LivinginPeace Project Artist in Residence Programme and it has become known as the Artist’s Bach. We have hosted artists from the United States, Northern Ireland, Canada, France, Japan, Israel, and New Zealand.

As a result of this blog post, the impostor, whose real name is Ian Malcolm Baike, has been apprehended by police in Napier and the real Dean Buchanan has his identity back…a good result for all concerned. I’m sorry Ian, you were a nice guy, but you can’t go about stealing other people’s property and assuming their identity…that’s just not on Mate!

Artist's Bach

Artist’s Bach: LivinginPeace Project Artist-in-Residency Programme Accommodation

“The Marionettes” By Dean Buchanan

 

Imposter’s art of disreputable living

(Sunday Star Times June 2, 2013)
By Ian Steward
 
Auckland artist Dean Buchanan
(Photo: PETER MEECHAM/Fairfax NZ)
 
 REAL DEAL: Auckland artist Dean Buchanan has had a con-man impersonating him and selling his artwork over the past six years.

For many artists, imitation is the highest form of flattery. But this is taking it a bit far.

For six years, after a truck-load of his paintings disappeared, west Auckland artist Dean Buchanan has been getting reports of his own disreputable behaviour from around the country.

In Karamea, on the West Coast, he stayed at a backpackers for two weeks, apparently on his way to sell a painting to Shania Twain at her ranch in central Otago, and then could not pay his bill.

A friend told him he had “shagged a woman in the back of his truck” while selling paintings at Auckland’s Parnell markets.

He heard he had sold another woman a painting in Aotea Square, Auckland, signed the back of it with a cheesy slogan and then made a pass at her when he helped her hang it.

The thing is, it was all news to Buchanan.

Turns out an impostor had been touring the country claiming to be Buchanan and living off – and spoiling – the artist’s reputation.

The real Buchanan noticed something was wrong when people were getting upset with him for no reason, particularly for ignoring close friends and family.

“Friends of my mother’s were saying to her ‘Dean’s down at the Browns Bay market selling his paintings.’ Mum rang up and said ‘Why didn’t you come up and see me?’ ”

Similarly, in Wanaka, the wife of a mountain-climbing friend heard Buchanan was in town selling paintings at the local square. She went and asked the man if he was her old friend and when he said yes, she said “Well, I don’t think you are”.

One night Buchanan, a super-fit non-drinker, got a phone call from “the VIP bar at Sky City,” where someone claiming to be him was trying to cash a cheque for $5000.

Buchanan said he met the alleged imposter some years ago and entered into a loose agreement for him to sell his paintings. When he dissolved their relationship, it is alleged the man disappeared with a truckload of Buchanan’s paintings.

Buchanan’s paintings sell for thousands of dollars, and he has exhibited in Japan, the United States and Switzerland.

“I’ve met numerous people who have bought paintings off me who [actually] haven’t,” Buchanan said, “It’s really devastatingly annoying.”

Buchanan has had gallery owners as far afield as Arrowtown refuse to stock his work after news of his supposedly “disreputable” behaviour.

“People look at me like I’m really bent. Being ostracised is really horrible, especially when you haven’t done anything.”

Devonport woman Sandra Killen bought a painting from the fake Buchanan at Aotea Square about five years ago. He insisted she pay in cash and then helped her to hang it in her apartment, but not before he signed the back “Love Auckland and it’ll love you, DB.”

Sandra Killen with her Dean Buchanan painting which has a fake dedication.

(Photo: PHIL DOYLE/Fairfax NZ)
 
NOT THE REAL DEAN: Sandra Killen with her Dean Buchanan painting which has a fake dedication.

The real Buchanan said he never signs his paintings with his initials, and cheesy slogans are not his cup of tea either.

Killen said her focus was on art, so she was surprised when the fake Buchanan tried to kiss her.

“I said, ‘I’m not going out with you after I’ve just given you all this money.'”

Rongo Backpackers Karamea owner Paul Murray met “Dean Buchanan” as the artist passed through the West Coast, apparently on his way to sell a painting to Shania Twain at her ranch in central Otago.

Murray said the man was an amicable, friendly guest who allowed the backpackers to hang “Shania’s” painting in the premises while he relaxed and “recovered his artistic muse.” He then could not pay his bill.

A man has recently been charged with theft by a person in a special relationship over the disappearance of $20,000 worth of Buchanan’s paintings.

Anyone who thinks they may have bought a Buchanan from the wrong man is asked to contact Detective Constable Stacey Bailey of the Napier police.

– © Fairfax NZ News

Art dealer posed as top artist, court hears

By Rob Kidd

Dean Buchanan. Photo / Kellie Blizard
Dean Buchanan. Photo / Kellie Blizard

They say life imitates art.

But sometimes, it appears, it imitates artists.

Revered Auckland artist Dean Buchanan was repeatedly told about a man peddling his work in towns he had never been to, and that he was reportedly signing the work for lucky punters too.

A couple of years earlier, the artist had entered into a “loose agreement” with 59-year-old Ian Malcolm Baikie that would see Mr Buchanan provide him with paintings to sell.

The arrangement originally went to plan as Baikie sold a few, handing the proceeds back to the artist.

“I said to him once ‘just give me some paperwork, sell my paintings, don’t get greedy and everything will work out fine’,” Mr Buchanan said.

By 2006, the relationship soured when Mr Buchanan started hearing stories about what the seller had been up to.

Baikie refused to either return Mr Buchanan’s paintings – a couple of dozen, according to the artist – or give him the cash from their sale.

Mr Buchanan and Graham Brimble, who had also given the amateur art dealer work to sell, made a complaint to police and in June 2013 he was charged and appeared before the Napier District Court.

After denying the charge, Baikie stood trial in the Auckland District Court this week where Judge Brooke Gibson heard from several witnesses who had seen him selling paintings around the country.

Barbara Stevens, who knew Mr Buchanan well, told the court via audio-visual link from Perth that she was bewildered to see Baikie passing himself off as the artist at a market in Wanaka eight years ago.

She challenged him about his identity but he brazenly stuck to his story.

There were further sightings in Napier, Karamea and Piha.

Because of the lack of documentation the Crown could not prove the extent of Baikie’s theft or how much the artwork may have been worth but Mr Buchanan said it was not about the money.

“I don’t care about that, eh,” he said.

Judge Gibson found 59-year-old Baikie guilty of two charges of theft in a special relationship, and was prepared to sentence him yesterday but his lawyers requested time to prepare an application for a discharge without conviction.

Mr Buchanan considered the likelihood of him getting off without penalty as “unlikely” and described the whole scenario as “just all so pathetically sad”.

In the meantime, Mr Buchanan’s star had been on the rise, selling work around the globe to celebrities such as former member of The Smiths, Johnny Marr.

He had also recently designed the stained glass windows for Kings College’s new chapel.

Outside court, Baikie said the court had been told “bold-arsed lies” and he wished he had given evidence.

He was remanded on bail and will be sentenced next month.

 The New Zealand Herald

Posted in Art, Business, Economics, Education, Funny, Hilarious, Historical, Humor, Humour, Kahurangi National Park, Karamea, LivinginPeace Project, Money, New Zealand, Photography, Social Commentary, Travel, Weird, West Coast | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

LivinginPeace Project Holiday Vouchers

Frances Tordoff came to stay at Rongo Backpackers & Gallery in the summer of 2012 on the recommendation of her daughter Bekki, who had previously worked at Rongo as a Wwoofer (Willing Worker on Organic Farm) several times since the hostel opened in 2004.

Frances Tordorff

Frances Tordoff

Rongo is part of the LivinginPeace Project, a venture founded in 2001 that combines art, travel, permaculture and education into a sustainable business. Environmental responsibility and energy efficiency are paramount in all LivinginPeace Project business decisions and the project has grown to include a backpackers hostel, motel complex, permaculture farm, 31-hectares of forest, a transport service, radio station and a share in the local organic food and clothing recycling shop.

Frances is originally from Manchester, England, but came to New Zealand in January 2012 to work in Dunedin as a rehabilitation instructor for visually impaired people.

“My daughter Bekki came home to the U.K. inspired after having stayed at Rongo, she was much more careful about recycling and introduce the bokashi (composting system) to our home, she was much more aware of the environment and the impact we have on it.” “As soon as she got home, she went into her room and said, “Why do I have all this stuff?” and immediately went about reducing her possessions, took a load of stuff away and gave it to the local charity shop.”

The changes in her daughter’s behaviour, and her persistent badgering to visit the LivinginPeace Project made Frances curious to visit Rongo and see for herself just what all the fuss is about.

At 56, Frances is no longer a young budget traveller off to see the world, but found staying at Rongo to be a pleasant and thoroughly enjoyable experience. “It was great, there were all sorts of nationalities of people staying when I was there and they were all getting on together.” I was not excluded from any activities because of my age and my stay at Rongo was very peaceful and relaxing…it’s a nice bit of space away from the madness.”

The LivinginPeace Project has an programme whereby supporters of the project can donate money and in return, receive a holiday voucher in the form of a promissory note, which is a legally binding agreement between the LivinginPeace Project founder Paul Murray and the holder of the note. The LivinginPeace Project Promissory note/Holiday Voucher entitles the holder a holiday in Karamea at the LivinginPeace Project facilities and can be redeemed in accommodation, transport, meals, courses and art purchases. The vouchers are $1,000 and are valid for five years from the date of purchase. They are transferrable and can be given to another person as a gift.

Frances generously decided to invest $1,000 to the LivinginPeace Project and in return received a holiday voucher, which she can pass on to her younger daughter Alice, who is the only Tordoff family member not to have visited the project, or she may decide not to redeem the voucher, which would effectively make the $1,000 a donation to the venture.

“This place did so much for my daughter (Bekki), so this is a bit of pay-back…If I had more money I’d give it to you,” she said.

The money received from the LivinginPeace Project Holiday Voucher initiative will be used to further develop and improve the facilities and services so that they will be available to the people who choose to redeem their vouchers in the future. It is a means of raising money to invest in the project without the burden of debt-servicing and in the process, the sale of the vouchers serves to promote and market the venture.

Fraces Tordoff II

DJ Frances Live on Karamea Radio 107.5 FM

Posted in Art, Business, Economics, Education, Environment, Gifts, Heaphy Track, Historical, Kahurangi National Park, Karamea, Karamea Radio, LivinginPeace Project, Media, Money, Mountain Biking, New Zealand, Oparara, Peace, Photography, Radio, Social Commentary, Tramping, Travel, Uncategorized, West Coast | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Busy Day for Vlad the Impala

Shadow Putin

Fishin’ with Putin

Golum Putin

Japanese Putin

Ninja Putin

007 Putin

Propaganda Putin

Dr Evil Putin

The Many Faces of Vladimir Putin

Great White Putin

Bare Bear Putin

Crab Putin

Polaroid Putin

Hip-Swinging Judo Putin

Animal-Lover Putin

Orthodox Putin

Posted in Art, Funny, Hilarious, Historical, Humor, Humour, Media, Money, Parody, Photography, Politics, Religion, Social Commentary, Sport, Uncategorized, Weird | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fat Cats

Forget Bill Gates, the richest man in history lived in Mali… 700 years ago

He was a despot who ruled swathes of West Africa and made a fortune from salt and gold. Now, Mansa Musa I has been named the wealthiest (inflation adjusted) man of all time.

The richest person ever to walk the planet was not, as it turns out, an Astor, a Carnegie or even a Windsor. Rather it was a fellow named Mansa Musa I, who, if you haven’t heard of him, ruled what used to the vast Malian Empire from 1280 to 1337, a terrain now encompassing Mali and Ghana that was blessed with oodles of salt and gold.

Mansa Musa I of Mali (1280-1337) $400bn

That you have to travel to Timbuktu and back seven centuries to find the man with the most wealth – ever – is only one of the surprises of a list of the top 25 richest people in the history of mankind compiled and just released by the website celebritynetworth.com.

The authors drew it up by establishing the peak worth of each entrant during their lifetime (some guesswork here perhaps) and adjusting for inflation to find the equivalent in 2012 US dollars.

Today’s super rich are mere tiddlers. Carlos Slim Helu, currently pegged by Forbes as the world’s richest person, comes in only at No 22 on this list with $68bn to his name. He is beaten by Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, who comes in at No 12 because at his richest his fortune allegedly touched the equivalent of $136bn in today’s dollars.

There are no contemporary celebrities in the usual sense of the word on the list and no women. Not surprising, perhaps, is the dominance of Americans, 14 in all. They include the old barons of steel, railways, cars and fur. In third and fourth place respectively are Andrew Carnegie and John D Rockefeller, whose names still adorn upstanding civic institutions across the US. Cornelius Vanderbilt is at No 10 and John Jacob Astor at 14.

John D Rockerfeller (1839-1937) $340bn

Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919) $310bn

Cornelius Vanderbilt (1794-1877) $185bn

Mansa Musa is not the only despot to earn a place in this rarefied club. Look with envy at the gallery of portraits of this moneyed bunch and one face is suddenly more familiar than almost any, partly because he is only so recently dispatched and by violent means too. That would be Muammar Gaddafi of Libya who liked to sleep in tents even though he could afford to buy a whole hotel chain with $200bn stashed in his personal piggy bank.

Muammar Gaddafi (1942-2011) $200bn

Lurking at No 5 is the obligatory oligarch, but of the strictly old-fashioned kind. Tsar Nicholas II’s net worth seemingly touched the equivalent of $300bn in 1916. We all know what happened in 1917. And there are some kings of retail in there too, including Americans Sam Walton just making it in at 25 and Marshall Field at 23.

Tsar Nicholas II (1868-1918) $300bn

A rich history yields some rich names and so it is with Britain. Our stinkingly rich qualified not so much because of the cash in their pockets but their vast portfolios of land. John of Gaunt was land-rich and in the 14th century so was Henry, Duke of Lancaster. They take 16th and 20th places respectively. One man who pretty much claimed the entire country for himself was a certain William the Conqueror. The authors of the list calculate with surely a degree of speculative inventiveness that when he died he left his sons $229.5bn in today’s money. But wait, no living Britons? Actually, yes, though there is some fudging here. The No 2 slot below the mysterious Mansa Musa is a whole family, some branches of which extend deep into British society. This, of course, would be the Rothschild clan.

William the Conqueror (1028-1087) $229.5bn

“The Rothschild family are the richest people on earth today with assets that total at least $350bn,” the site claims. “Their net worth is difficult to peg because their holdings are so vast but without question they are the most powerful family in the world. Many people believe they control over $1 trillion in real estate and banking assets.” If they say so.

The Rothschild Family (1744- ) $350bn

Henry Ford (1863-1947) $199bn

Mir Osman Ali Khan (1886-1967) $230bn

By DAVID USBORNE  for The Independent
Posted in Banking, Business, Economics, Historical, Media, Mining, Money, Photography, Politics, Social Commentary, Uncategorized, United States | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Where’s that Naughty BaBear Now?

Off the Top of My Head

By Paul Murray

Our daughter Diva loves the BaBear Game. We hide BaBear around the house and she hunts him down and when she finds him, she says “Ba,” which means “Boo” in Japanese.

Recently, she turned the tables and started to hide BaBear by herself and we haver to find him…as you’ll see from the photos below, she proved quite good at the game and we eventually deemed her the ultimate winner!

For the record, BaBear is OK…he’s been thoroughly cleaned and dried and he’s just fine.

Of course, we could sit her in front of the TV, but where’s the fun in that?

RGO_1763

The Winning Move

RGO_1283-2 RGO_1284-3 RGO_1284 RGO_1286-2 RGO_1285-3 RGO_1285-2 RGO_1286 RGO_1288-2 RGO_1291 RGO_1292 RGO_1288 RGO_1287-3 RGO_1289 RGO_1294 RGO_1290 RGO_1287 RGO_1297 RGO_1299 RGO_1305 RGO_1328 RGO_1300 RGO_1298 RGO_1299-2 RGO_1301 RGO_1329 RGO_1330 RGO_1303 RGO_1299-3 RGO_1332 RGO_1344 RGO_1703 RGO_1345 RGO_1338 RGO_1340 RGO_1346 RGO_1707 RGO_1714 RGO_1698 RGO_1757
RGO_1220 RGO_1221-2

RGO_1764

This move was a game changer!

RGO_1760

Poor BaBear!~

RGO_1758 RGO_1759 3d_baby_panda_guitarist_poster-rc401dc5fa4004e2dba66f76d00f3d643_ax6zb_400 RGO_1221 RGO_1222-2 RGO_1220-2
RGO_1222 RGO_1226 RGO_1229 RGO_1230 RGO_1227 RGO_1223 RGO_1224 RGO_1228-2 RGO_1232 RGO_1233 RGO_1228 RGO_1225 RGO_1234-2 RGO_1236 RGO_1237 RGO_1234 RGO_1235-2 RGO_1243 RGO_1245 RGO_1235 RGO_1246 RGO_1250 RGO_1247 RGO_1248 RGO_1256 RGO_1267 RGO_1258 RGO_1249 RGO_1268-2 RGO_1275 RGO_1276 RGO_1268 RGO_1266 RGO_1265 RGO_1271 RGO_1277 RGO_1278 RGO_1274

Posted in Children, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Karamea, LivinginPeace Project, New Zealand, Photography, Social Commentary, Uncategorized, West Coast | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

CONSPIRACY THEORY or FACT?

ArticlesFeaturedSociety— 15 February 2013
There are types of stories called “conspiracy theories” and the people who teach them are considered by “society” as crazy fanatics who often need medical treatment. What if I tell you that “society” should take some of that medical treatment, cause sometimes such incredible stories, nobody believed in, turn out to be 100% true.
What if I tell you that the doctors did not treat us, just wait until we die to cut our bodies?

1. Experiment

In the years 1932-1972, there were a series of experiments on about 400 syphilis-infected black citizens of the United States. The study selected the poor, simple and uneducated – most of them did not even know about their illness. U.S. Public Health Service had promised free treatment to patients. In fact, they were given aspirin. The purpose of this “experiment” was to observe a progressive disease in representatives of the black race, and the scientific autopsy of deceased participants in these studies. As a result, 28 people died directly of syphilis, 100 died as a result of complications directly related to the disease, 40 women were infected by unconscious patients, and 19 children were born with congenital disease.

male_blood_test

The sad truth about the Tuskegee Experiment was confirmed in 1997 by President Bill Clinton, who officially and publicly apologized to the eight surviving participants in these studies.

What if I tell you that the U.S. government itself commits “acts of terror” on its land, just to have an excuse to invade another country?

2. Operation Northwoods

In 1997, fifteen hundred pages of documents from the presidency of U.S. President J.F. Kennedy entitled “Operation Northwoods” were declassified. In the 60s, the United States was preparing for war with Cuba. To fire up the war machine public support was needed. In turn the defense secretary presented a paper called “Justification for U.S. Military Intervention in Cuba” so they had a whole range of interesting provocations, such as terrorist attacks involving the blowing up military bases, starting fires, aircraft hijacking, “landing” of Cuban troops , bombings, and even the sinking of a boat full of armed Cubans.
 see the full document for yourself: http://www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/news/20010430/northwoods.pdf

see the full document for yourself here

These false flag terrorist attacks were to be carried out by the CIA on a massive scale so that the citizens of the United States would feel threatened by Fidel Castro and the government had an excuse to start a war. The plan was never implemented however, as President John F. Kennedy met with the General Lyman Lemnitzer and rejected the plan of operation. This time it did not work …

What if I tell you that it is just about oil?

3. Nayirah Testimony

In August 1990 there was conflict between Iraq and Kuwait, mostly over oil fields as Saddam Hussein accused Kuwaitis of theft of these resources. On October 10th the whole world turned its eyes toward a fifteen-year old girl named Nayirah, who wept profusely as she talked about inhumane crimes committed by Iraqi soldiers. The young Kuwaiti was to witness the killing of more than 300 babies in a hospital. The dramatic speech touched the hearts of viewers and managed to drum up overwhelming support for the involvement of the United States in this conflict and the outbreak of the Gulf War.
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When the battle dust settled, someone took a closer look at Nayirah. Quickly it became apparent that the sobbing girl in front of millions of viewers was the daughter of Sheikh Saud Nasser Al-Saud Al-Sabah – Kuwaiti Ambassador to the United States and a member of the royal family. The child was handed to PR whizzes – Hill & Knowlton company, where she passed a course in comprehensive acting training. It had to work out – the company bosses signed an $11.9 million contract with the Kuwaiti royal family. The task was simple — to persuade the U.S. to military to take action against Iraq. Nayirah lied. This time it worked …

What if I tell you that the leading Nazi scientists got a job in USA after the war?

4. Operation Paperclip.

World War II was coming to an end and nothing more could change the situation of the Third Reich. American special forces had acknowledged that it would be a pity if some people lost their lives, especially those whose knowledge and experience could potentially serve the interests of the United States. As part of Operation Paperclip, they smuggled into the U.S. a group of gifted scientists from the Nazi rocket industry, medicine and chemical weapons divisions.
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In the safe arms of Uncle Sam there were, among others, Wernher Von Braun (SS-man, the creator of the famous missile V-2), Kurt Blome (a doctor specializing in biological weapons, which tested their inventions on prisoners in Auschwitz) and Hubertus Strughold (“father of space medicine” who examined the effect of extremely low temperatures on the human body in camp Dachau). In total, 700 German “men of science”, found their new home on American soil.

What if I tell you that the government controls your mind?

5. MK-Ultra

In many conspiracy theories there are fragments of “Big Brother”, which uses a variety of different methods to brainwash the public. It turns out that playing with people’s minds was actually done by the CIA a good half a century ago! In the 60s, thanks to the NY Times reporters, details of the MK-Ultra project came to light, which was aimed to investigate the human ability to be controlled by the use of certain chemicals, subliminal messages, electrical impulses and psychoactive substances. The project itself consisted of a number of sub-projects. For example, MK-Search was designed to create the perfect truth serum that could be used on captured Russian spies.
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They also looked into research on the practical use of LSD. Experiments were conducted on prostitutes, prisoners and people with mental illness. Often times without their knowledge or consent. One such experiment was to give the drug to seven volunteers continuously for 77 days … Among the substances, with which the CIA dealt was also amphetamines, psilocybin and mescaline. They also experimented with hypnotic seances. When information about MK-Ultra was released to the public, a number of committees of inquiry were established and this research was formally and publicly condemned.

It is often said that the infamous project was one of the factors which resulted in the generation of the hippie movement. Ken Kesey – author of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, as a volunteer, was participating in one of the experiments, prepared by the CIA. The effect of LSD on the human mind intrigued the writer so much, that he became one of the first proponents of the use of psychedelic drugs in the context of recreation. Another member of psychedelic experimentation was Robert Hunter of the Grateful Dead …

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Karamea Ministry of Red Tape # 18

A New Zealand Government Department authorised by a covertly suspicious and deliberately ambiguous Act of Parliament and compounded by a tacitly implied Royal Approval to receive official complaints.
 

Office Manager:      Red Scarlett

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Red Scarlett

Senior Complaints Officer:       Madagascar Mirage

Madagascar Mirage

Office Receptionist:     Sizzle Voluptuous

Sizzle Voluptuous

Tea Lady:         Marjoram Eucalyptus

Marjoram Eucalyptus

Office Wombat:     Gangamania

 

Karamea Ministry of Red Tape Office, Market Cross 9 a.m.

 

Zorcon Kalaska:      Excuse me…..

Sizzle Voluptuous:          Sorry the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape is closed for the Melbourne Cup.

Zorcon Kalaska:       But but the Melbourne Cup isn’t until the first Tuesday in November!

Madagascar Mirage:       Are you questioning this young brunette bimbo’s intelligence? Come back tomorrow!!

Zorcon Kalaska:      What are the business hours for the Karamea Ministry of Red Tape??

Madagscar Mirage:        9 am to 5 pm no exceptions!

Zorcon Kalaska:         I have a platinum card with a $50,000 credit limit, can’t I offer you a bribe to accept my complaint now!

Madagscar Mirage:          The Karamea Ministry of Red Tape does not accept bribes but we do allow anonymous generous donations of large amounts of cash in small unmarked bills.

Zorcon Kalaska:           Name your price!

Madagscar Mirage:            Fees are by negotiation!

Zorcon Kalaska:              Look in my briefcase $20,000 in $100 notes.

Madagscar Mirage:              I will have to consult my superior officer Red Scarlett.

Red Scarlett:               Mmmm $100 notes. Wait until I get my gloves on. Don’t want to leave my fingerprints on the loot… I mean commission!

Madagscar Mirage:             The Karamea  Ministry of Red Tape is now officially open for business!

 

Red Scarlett:                          I will be in my office ringing my travel agent!

Zorcon Kalaska:                Holidaying somewhere?

Red Scarlett:                              Hawaii!! Surf’s up!

 

Madagscar Mirage:              Please state the nature of your complaint!

Zorcon Kalaska:               I want to make a complaint about bureaucratic corruption.

Madagscar Mirage:              An official complaint squire?

Zorcon Kalaska:              Yes indeed!!!

Madagscar Mirage:                The exact nature of your complaint?

Zorcon Kalaska :              The hypocrisy of Government Departmental officials taking bribes, stealing from the public fund, employing thieves, vagabonds and pickpockets and not paying tax on their ill gotten gains!!

 

Madagscar Mirage:               Atrocious!!! You’ve come to the right administrative office to make such a complaint!

Zorcon Kalaska:              No!!! My wallet, my watch gone! Stolen!

Madagscar Mirage:               What about your lucky cloverleaf cufflinks?

Zorcon Kalaska:               Wow, you must be psychic!! Disappeared!!!

Madagscar Mirage:                And your Schaeffer limited edition gold plated ball point pen?

Zorcon Kalaska:                Incredible! No longer in my jacket!!!

Madagscar Mirage:                Mmmm! Not your lucky day!!!

Zorcon Kalaska:                The Karamea Triangle!  Will you record my complaint???

Madagscar Mirage:                Yes indeed corruption is to be frowned upon!!!

Zorcon Kalaska:                Do I get a receipt for my money?

Madagscar Mirage:                 Official Karamea Ministry of Red tape policy does not allow for receipts but you do qualify for a Hi-5!

Zorcon Kalaska:                 Where do I sign?

Madagscar Mirage:                  Here where I marked X!

Z..o..r..c..o..n………

Kaboom!!!

Red Scarlett:                He’s still alive!! Zorcon I thought you were a crack shot!

Zorcon Kalaska:                  Argle…argle….

Marjoram Eucalyptus:                Cup of tea???????

 

Zorcon Kalaska:                 Argle..argle..

 

Red Scarlett:                 You shot off his left nostril!!!

 

Madagscar Mirage:                Hey come back!! He’s getting away! Prick!

Sizzle Volutpuous:                Boo hoo!! I wanted his eyeballs for my poor old blind grandmother!

Zorcon Kalaska:               Never mind let me give you cuddle!

SLAP!!!!!!!!!

Sizzle Voluptuous:                 That wasn’t a cuddle that was a groper!

Red Scarlett:                 Look sharp here comes Sergeant Paddy Locks!!!

 

Sergeant Paddy Locks:               Top of the morning to you. I heard a gunshot and saw a fellow in the street bleeding.

Red Scarlett:                 Mmmmm! This watch would look perfect on your arm!

Sergeant Paddy Locks:                Ta!

Madagscar Mirage:                Gold plated lucky cloverleaf cuff links??

Sergeant Paddy Locks:               My lucky day!!! Now about that shooting!!!

Red Scarlett:              The Melbourne Cup is on today. Can’t this wait until next year?

Sergeant Paddy Locks:              Well I suppose!

 

Red Scarlett:             Excellent!!

Sergeant Paddy Locks:             Begorrrrah!!!  My new watch, it’s disappeared!

Gangamania:             Arf arf!!

Posted in Art, Business, Economics, Education, Erotica, Fashion, Funny, Hilarious, Historical, Humor, Humour, Kahurangi National Park, Karamea, Karamea Radio, Media, Money, New Zealand, Parody, Photography, Politics, Religion, Satire, Social Commentary, Uncategorized, Weird | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Rongo Views: Photos by Isabel & Petia

This gallery contains 168 photos.

The Creative Vibrancy of Rongo Backpackers, Karamea Farm Baches and the LivinginPeace Project through the Eyes of Guests/Wwoofers/Friends Isabel Göermann and Petia Vowell.

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An Extremely Busy Day for Jesus

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Dr Zoidberg Jesus

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Handsome Jesus

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Hip-Flask Jesus

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Toasted Jesus

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Jiggin’ Jesus

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Packaged Jesus

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Puppy Lovin’ Jesus

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GI Jesus

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Ozzy Jesus

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Pool Pal Jesus

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Animal Jesus

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NRMA Jesus

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Chuck Norris Jesus

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Banned Jesus

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Idol Jesus

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Bacon Jesus

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Nonpartisan Jesus

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Comatose Jesus

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Stoner Jesus

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WTF Jesus

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Ladies-Man Jesus

angry-jesus

Rebellious Jesus

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Astro-Jesus

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Awesome Jesus

bondage_jesus

Bondage Jesus

christian_man

Ink Jesus

coke-jesus

Coke Jesus

crazy-email-pic-faces-of-Jesus

Illusion Jesus

creationandredemption

Whole World in His Hands Jesus

CRUISE IS JESUS

Cruisie Jesus

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WTF Jesus II

disco_jesus

Toasted Jesus II

dj_jesus

DJ Jesus

fighting jesus

Kung Fu Jesus

fuck_korean-jesus

Seoul Jesus

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Sunset Jesus

halloween-jesus-dress-up

Halloween Costume Jesus

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Tourist Attraction Jesus

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Vajesus

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Bling Bling Jesus

JC_LAB

Boss Jesus

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Crazy Jesus

jesus boat

Sailor Jesus

Jesus_Cleanses_Temple

Drover Jesus

jesus_football-1

Pele Jesus

jesus_gang

Freedom Fighter Jesus

jesus-beer-billboard

Billboard Jesus

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T-Shirt Jesus

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Shotgun Jesus

Jesus-nails colourful

Manicure Jesus (Getting his Nails Done)

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Jesus Shaves

jesus-virgin

Virgin Jesus

jesus7

Death-Ray Jesus

JesusPlaymo

Lego Jesus

JesusSq

Caprine Christ

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Zombie Hunter Jesus

McJesus

McJesus

midget_jesus

Dwarf Jesus

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Little Baby Jesi

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Passionate Jesus

Pimp_Jesus

Pimp-Daddy Jesus

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Canine Jesus

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Anime Jesus

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Charlie Jesus

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Colonel Jesus

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Aggressive Jesus

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Pilot Jesus

Posted in Art, Christmas, Funny, Hilarious, Historical, Humor, Humour, Jesus, Media, Parody, Photography, Religion, Satire, Social Commentary, Weird | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment