“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”

— Christina Aguilera

“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”

– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

“Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.”

– Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel.

“I’m convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism.”

– Milos Forman, Film director

“When I’m a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they’ll believe me because they weren’t listening to me.”

– Kylie Bax, Model/Actress, in Stuff magazine.

“The internet is a great way to get on the net.”

– Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

“You guys, line up alphabetically by height.”

– Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”

– Britney Spears, on Blender Magazine (April 2004)

“I think war is a dangerous place.”

– George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. (May 7, 2003)

“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”

– Greg Norman, Golfer

“It’s nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he’ll bring a drill or something.”

– Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college

“Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.”

– Gyrator, Chicago Rotary Club journal

“These people haven’t seen the last of my face. If I go down, I’m going down standing up.”

– Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player

“I’m so smart now. Everyone’s always like ‘take your top off’. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not stupid.”

– Paris Hilton (December 2003)

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman»

– Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

– Mariah Carey, pop singer

“Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future.”

– Yogi Berra, Baseball player

“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”

– Chuck Nevitt, basketball player, explaining to his coach why he appeared nervous at practice.

“The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”

– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

“And now the sequence of events in no particular order.”

– Dan Rather, television news anchor

“Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.”

– George W Bush, Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000

“The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.”

– Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

“I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost.”

– Frank Bruno, Boxer

“I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.”

– George Bush 

I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.

– George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB, when asked about the upcoming season

“I do not like this word “bomb.” It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.”

– Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

“The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

– Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”

– Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager

Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.”

– Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant.

“If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn’t own anything. My wife’s a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven’t sold them.”

– Ted Turner, media mogul, on selling off his money losing properties

“They misunderestimated me.”

– George W Bush, Bentonville, Ark., (Nov. 6, 2000)

“I don’t diet. I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to.”

– Linda Evangelista, Supermodel

“Facts are stupid things.”

– Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President

“What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”

– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

“That’s just the tip of the ice cube.”

– Neil Hamilton, BBC2

“A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.”

– Samuel Goldwyn 

“I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.”

– Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer

“It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”

– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.

– Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

“The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.”

– Sylvestor Stallone, Actor

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”

– Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

“We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”

– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

“Will the highways on the internet become more few?”

– George W Bush, Concord, New Hampshire, (29th January 2000)

“Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.”

– Keppel Enderbery, Former Australian cabinet minister

“There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964.”

– Roger Daltrey, Singer/Actor

“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”

– Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

— Britney Spears

“Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding.”

– Mickey Rivers, baseball player

“I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

– Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

“Put the ‘off’ button on.”

– George W. Bush, Associated Press, 14th February 2000

“So Carol, you’re a housewife and mother. And have you got any children?”

– Michael Barrymore

“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

– Fran Lebowitz, US writer

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”

– Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation

“For NASA, space is still a high priority.”

– Dan Quayle

“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”

– Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer

“If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”

– George Gobel

“If only faces could talk…”

– Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl

“Every minute was more exciting than the next.”

– Linda Evans, actress

“I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.”

— Jessica Simpson